Tag: San Francisco 49ers

Cover photo taken from The US Sun.

1 – Eagles (8-1)

2 – Chiefs (7-2) 1

3 – 49ers (6-3) 3

4 – Lions (7-2) 3

5 – Ravens (7-3) 3

6 – Cowboys (6-3) 2

7 – Browns (6-3) 2

8 – Dolphins (6-3) 2

9 – Texans (5-4) 3

10 – Bengals (5-4) 6

11 – Jaguars (6-3) 6

12 – Seahawks (6-3) 1

13 – Vikings (6-4) 3

14 – Steelers (6-3) 1

15 – Chargers (4-5) 2

16 – Bills (5-5) 2

17 – Saints (5-5)

18 – Colts (5-5)

19 – Broncos (4-5) 3

20 – Raiders (5-5) 6

21 – Commanders (4-6) 2

22 – Buccaneers (4-5) 1

23 – Titans (3-6) 3

24 – Jets (4-5) 1

25 – Packers (3-6) 1

26 – Rams (3-6) 1

27 – Cardinals (2-8) 5

28 – Falcons (4-6) 1

29 – Bears (3-7) 1

30 – Patriots (2-8) 1

31 – Panthers (1-8)

32 – Giants (2-8) 2

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Cover photo taken from ESPN.

1 – Eagles (7-1)

2 – Ravens (6-2) 1

3 – Chiefs (6-2) 1

4 – Jaguars (6-2) 1

5 – 49ers (5-3) 1

6 – Dolphins (6-2)

7 – Cowboys (5-2)

8 – Bengals (4-3) 2

9 – Lions (6-2)

10 – Seahawks (5-2) 2

11 – Bills (5-3)

12 – Browns (4-3) 4

13 – Chargers (3-4) 5

14 – Steelers (4-3)

15 – Vikings (4-4) 1

16 – Jets (4-3) 1

17 – Texans (3-4) 4

18 – Saints (4-4) 5

19 – Rams (3-5) 4

20 – Colts (3-5) 1

21 – Titans (3-4) 3

22 – Broncos (3-5) 4

23 – Falcons (4-4) 3

24 – Buccaneers (3-4) 3

25 – Commanders (3-5) 4

26 – Packers (2-5) 4

27 – Patriots (2-6) 2

28 – Giants (2-6)

29 – Bears (2-6) 2

30 – Raiders (3-5)

31 – Panthers (1-6) 1

32 – Cardinals (1-7) 1

Cover photo taken from USA Today.

1 – Eagles (6-1) 2

For the second consecutive year, everything is coming up Eagles. Infuriating, isn’t it?

The greatness of this team cannot be denied. They just do everything so well. Like, annoyingly well. You can’t stop them, and they don’t hurt themselves. They don’t get penalties called on them. Whenever they have any mistakes, they instantly bounce back and score. They get some of the best players via trades and the draft for seemingly nothing. It’s nonsensical. But it’s the case once again this season, and although the Eagles still have to go through a gauntlet of teams, Lady Luck seems to be wearing Kelly and midnight green in 2023.

2 – Chiefs (6-1) 1

The more things change, the more they stay the same. After seven weeks of shuffling and false hype around the league, the two teams with the best records in the league and the 1 seeds in their respective conferences are the Eagles and Chiefs. 

I wanted to put Kansas City at the top of this list, but I think the Birds deserved that spot after dismantling a Dolphins team that we’re pretty sure is great. But the Chiefs have a very good argument. They’re in rarified air, ranking in the top 10 in all three phases, joining an exclusive list featuring a plethora of Super Bowl winners. It’s still early, of course, but that’s a crystal clear sign that this team is not just elite, but well-rounded. Patrick Mahomes put together his best game of the year, Travis Kelce is back to his old ways, Rashee Rice is emerging as a WR1, and this defense just keeps on getting better. 

I think the Chiefs are going to continue to improve as this season goes along. They’ve proven that, when they turn it up, they are simply unstoppable. Once again, the AFC is going through Arrowhead. As if there was any doubt.

3 – Ravens (5-2) 4

I am done doubting the Ravens. This team is absolutely incredible, and it’s honestly a wonder why I was ever so low on them in the first place. They did have some early season struggles, but now that they’re starting to figure out the offense, things are getting scary in the Charm City.

The defense has been elite all year long, but this all starts with Lamar Jackson, who might just be the league’s MVP through seven games. I’ve always loved Lamar, but I never could have seen this type of offensive explosion coming from him. Sunday’s performance against the Lions might’ve just been the piece de resistance of his young career, as he completely dominated a very good Detroit defense with his arm and his legs. Baltimore got absolutely everything they wanted all game long with a take-your-lunch-money type of game. It was not only stunning, but hypnotic. Todd Monken seems to have figured out how to make this offense go, and it is paying huge dividends.

Baltimore might be the NFL’s scariest team right now. They, like the Chiefs, seem to only be getting better as the weeks go by. If only they played each other this regular season. No worries, I can gladly wait till January to see it happen.

4 – 49ers (5-2) 3

I am officially concerned. For the second week in a row, the 49ers lost a game thanks to some struggles from Brock Purdy and an uncharacteristically lackluster defensive performance.

It’s one thing for these problems to arise against the NFL’s elite, like last week in Cleveland against the league’s best defense. It’s another thing for the defense to get completely gashed by a Vikings offense which has had its fair share of struggles on that side of the ball this season while getting no pressure and losing the turnover battle. All the while, Purdy was floating balls left and right, throwing two picks in the clutch. Even Christian McCaffrey fumbled in the redzone.

The offensive injuries are clearly having an effect on them. Without Deebo Samuel as a safety blanket or Trent Williams clearing paths in the run game, this team really doesn’t have an offensive identity. They need to get healthy at the earliest convenience.

This cannot become a trend for San Francisco. Otherwise, it’s seemingly inevitable that this season ends just like 2022 did.

5 – Jaguars (5-2) 1

The Jags just keep on winning. Again, they’re not doing anything mind-blowing, but it’s really hard not to like what they are doing.

Trevor Lawrence has continued to cut defenses into pieces, Travis Etienne has scored multiple touchdowns in three consecutive games and keeps on developing into one of the NFL’s best running backs, and although Calvin Ridley has remained quiet, Christian Kirk has seemingly re-emerged as the teams WR1.

The other side of the ball is also doing its thing, getting key stops and forcing timely turnovers game after game. When you combine that with what the offense is doing, you have a very effective winning formula. As such, the Jaguars are going to keep on winning games.

6 – Dolphins (5-2) 2

I warned you guys about the Dolphins being potential frauds last week, but I didn’t actually think that they were. I just thought the facts were compelling. I even picked them to go on the road and defeat the Eagles. But after perhaps their sorriest performance of the year, they might just be a fraudulent football team.

They’ve played five games against teams with a combined 8-25 record and looked incredible in each one. Their two games against teams above .500 with a combined record of 10-4? Two blowout losses by a combined score of 79-37.

I still really like the Dolphins. But this offense folds against any team that can actually stop them, which the Eagles did and then some. They have not played up to their opposition a single time through seven games. Just some food for thought.

7 – Cowboys (4-2) 2

The Cowboys had the week off before hosting the Rams on Sunday for a game which could feature a ton of offensive fireworks. More on that tomorrow.

8 – Browns (4-2) 2

It’s hard to say that the Browns didn’t deserve to win on Sunday as NFL games hardly boil down to one or two refereeing calls. But this is the second consecutive win for Cleveland that has seemingly been gifted to them down the stretch by some questionable flags.

Still, the Browns keep on riding their elite defense to wins, even when it gives up 38 points to Gardner Minshew and the Colts. The offense continues to look better without Deshaun Watson than with him, which is both hilarious and concerning at the same time. With his shoulder injury clearly being a bigger deal than the team was making it seem, I’m not sure how much more of him we’ll see in upcoming weeks. The running back room is also dealing with a plethora of injuries as Jerome Ford will miss the next 1-2 weeks. But, as long as the defense keeps doing its thing, the Browns should be just fine.

9 – Lions (5-2) 4

The Lions got as harsh of a reality check as the NFL possibly has to offer on Sunday in Baltimore. The threat of a loss was always in the air, but for them to be as noncompetitive and lifeless as they were was shocking. It was the worst performance Detroit has had in almost a year.

Luckily for them, I don’t think those are the real Lions. They just had a tough game. Sometimes that’ll happen in this league, especially without your RB1 who acts as the identity of your offense. I’m far more concerned with the defense, which might as well not have even been on the field. It’s very rare and very concerning to see a team get get dismantled the way they did.

I have faith in this team to bounce back, but they have a steep uphill climb to regain my respect.

10 – Bengals (3-3) 1

The Bengals had a seemingly much-needed bye week to get healthier, and now things are going to get very interesting in Cincinnati.

After a week of rest for Joe Burrow and Tee Higgins, the offense might just find its rhythm again. The defense is already hooping, so if the offense returns to form, then the Bengals should find themselves on the trajectory that I predicted for them a few weeks ago.

11 – Bills (4-3) 3

Congratulations to the Buffalo Bills, this week’s Team of Shame! There is no higher honor to receive after losing as 8.5-point favorites against a team that looked like perhaps the worst in the league with an ineffective offense and incompetent quarterback!

The Bills are in trouble. Their defensive injuries are catching up to them extremely fast, and their offense looks like a shell of itself. And I don’t know how much faith I have in them to turn this thing around. It has gone from bad to worse in Buffalo.

12 – Seahawks (4-2) 1

The Seahawks are still a bit inconsistent offensively, but their defense is continuing to hoop at a very high level. Devon Witherspoon is playing lights out and is on the fast track to winning this year’s Defensive Rookie of the Year award. The addition of Frank Clark will hopefully make up for the loss of Uchenna Nwosu.

Perhaps the most important development is that Jaxon Smith-Njigba is finally getting involved offensively. Once DK Metcalf comes back, we could see Seattle be as complete as they’ve been all season long, which means they’re going to continue winning a lot of football games. Considering how the 49ers have looked in the last two weeks, I wouldn’t count the Seahawks out of the race for the NFC West.

13 – Texans (3-3) 1

The Texans had the week off as they get ready to clash with the winless Panthers in the battle between 2023’s top two draft selections. And I can’t wait to see that quarterback battle — which we sadly never got in college — play out. I’ll dive deeper into that tomorrow.

14 – Steelers (4-2) 3

Matt Canada, I owe you an apology. I wasn’t familiar with your game.

Once again, the Steelers offense actually put together a good performance on offense thanks to some great work from their much-slandered offensive coordinator and improved play from Kenny Pickett. George Pickens continues to ball out on a weekly basis, and getting Diontae Johnson back immediately elevated this offense by giving Pickett his safety net in the receiving corps.

The defense is obviously still great, but they got away with a lot on Sunday. If Rams kicker Brett Maher had put every kick through the uprights, we would have gone to overtime at 24 apiece. Alas, the Steelers are now 4-2 against all odds and in the thick of the AFC North race with wins against Baltimore and Cleveland already this season. As is seemingly the case every year with Mike Tomlin at the helm, this team is not going away anytime soon.

15 – Rams (3-4) 3

Is a little consistency too much to ask for? I guess so. The Rams simply haven’t looked like the same team from week to week at all this season. Neither side of the ball can string together consecutive good performances.

This week, it was the defense — and special teams, for that matter — which let LA down as they were sliced and diced by a Steelers offense which has struggled to find itself for the majority of the year. Brett Maher missed seven points worth of kicks in a seven-point loss and was subsequently sent to the unemployment line. And while Puka Nacua was unstoppable, Cooper Kupp only had two catches all game. Now, Kyren Williams is likely headed for the IR, meaning the offense might have some more struggles in sight. With some great defenses ahead on the schedule, the Rams might be in a world of trouble.

16 – Vikings (3-4) 9

Well, well, well. The Vikings heard the noise.

For old time’s sake, I’ll say it. 11-0 in one-score games in 2022. Now 3-4 in such games in 2023. The fact that this team has played exclusively one-possession games is simultaneously ridiculous and incredibly on-brand. The good news is that, after starting 0-3, they’re 3-1 in these close games in the last month — including a 2-0 stretch thus far without Justin Jefferson — and just beat the former consensus best team in the NFL in a primetime setting.

Kirk Cousins silenced his haters and doubters with one of the best games of his career, Jordan Addison burst onto the scene with two long touchdowns, and T.J. Hockenson played perhaps his best game in a Vikings uniform. But, most importantly, the defense showed up and showed out, including two interceptions for Camryn Bynum. Brian Flores has his guys balling out, which has been the key for this team on this stretch of winning football. If they can keep it up against a lackluster stretch of upcoming opponents, the Vikings will somehow be right back in the thick of things in the NFC Wild Card race.

17 – Jets (3-3) 2

After the electric comeback win against the Eagles, the Jets had their bye week. I think that might just hurt the positive momentum that they took away from that game, but they’re still in a good position to keep the good times going.

Luckily for them, they could have another win coming up in the battle for New York on Sunday against the Giants.

18 – Chargers (2-4) 2

I really don’t feel like talking about the Chargers at this point. There’s really just nothing to talk about.

They’re incapable of winning meaningful games, Justin Herbert has looked like a shadow of himself after getting the bag, Quentin Johnston already looks like an all-time bust, and this defense is historically bad despite hundreds of millions of dollars being poured into it and having a defensive-minded head coach.

Absolutely nothing is going right here. I probably have the Chargers too high here. It’s not going to be shocking when they inevitably keep on falling.

19 – Colts (3-4) 5

Moving up five spots after losing is a bit unprecedented by my standards, but this feels deserved for a couple of reasons.

For starters, Gardner Minshew keeps on balling out whenever his number is called. I know I said I didn’t feel confident about him being the starter moving forward, but he just played an incredible game against the best defense in the NFL. That certainly helps build confidence. The rest of the offense keeps on getting huge contributions from guys like Josh Downs and Zack Moss in addition to the resident playmakers like Michael Pittman Jr. and Jonathan Taylor. And of course, the Colts really could have — and maybe should have — come away with a win on Sunday to improbably be above .500 if it wasn’t for some very questionable refereeing. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

The defense could still certainly use some work, but this team feels frisky and competitive enough to win some games as this season progresses. I don’t think they’ll be nearly as bad as I said. For that, they get a big time bump this week.

20 – Falcons (4-3) 2

The Falcons are officially the weirdest team in the league. I want them to go away so bad, but they just refuse to do so. Even in a game that they’re seemingly actively trying to lose with insane turnovers at the goal line or not giving Bijan Robinson a touch until the very last play of the game, they find a way to win. It’s ridiculous.

Let me be clear, I still don’t think this is a very good football team, and I still have less than zero faith in Arthur Smith as a head coach or Desmond Ridder as a quarterback. But a win is a win, and the Falcons should feel good to be back in the win column.

21 – Buccaneers (3-3) 2

Womp womp. I hope the Buccaneers enjoyed their month of relevance and people believing they’re a good team. That’s all over now. You can’t lose like that and get away with it.

This team has come off the bye and laid two complete duds at home when they could have established themselves the team in this division. Instead, they’re back to mediocrity, and while that’s certainly good enough to win the terrible NFC South, it’s not enough to still have my respect.

22 – Packers (2-4) 4

I was very close to making the Packers this week’s Team of Shame. That’s only natural after you lay yet another dud against a pretty bad team and your supposed franchise quarterback continues to single-handedly lose you games with terrible interceptions in the game’s most key moments.

Although this week’s honor went to the Bills, the Packers don’t deserve my time at this point. They have lost my respect entirely. I can’t believe how bad they’re making me look after singing their praises so much this offseason and early in the year. I’m just embarrassed.

23 – Saints (3-4) 3

In a shocking turn of events, the Saints are still not a good football team and Derek Carr is still not a winning quarterback. Who would have thought?

The defense once again got picked apart while Carr literally threw the game away and screamed at his teammates for his own mistakes (seriously, how weird is that?). Now, throw a Chris Olave arrest in the mix and you’ve got a team that’s simply crashing in 2023. What a shame.

24 – Titans (2-4) 2

The Titans used their bye week to figure out their quarterback situation, naming Will Levis as the starter for Sunday’s battle with the Falcons. I’m very interested to see what the rook can do in his debut against a strange, but challenging opponent.

25 – Patriots (2-5) 5

Macaroni is back!

Just kidding. Well, he’s probably not back back. But Mac Jones played his best game of the season — and maybe his best game since his rookie year — including tossing the game-winning touchdown with 12 seconds left to pull off one of the biggest upsets of the season, knocking off the Bills at home as 8.5-point dogs. That was a really cool sight.

I don’t know if this will somehow make the Patriots a competent football team again, but the upcoming schedule isn’t terribly tough. Maybe, just maybe, New England can start stacking some wins. It all starts with Mac, but if he plays like that every week, then this team has a shot.

26 – Broncos (2-5) 3

At this point, I don’t know how much can be garnered from beating Jordan Love and the Packers. But the Broncos looked good on Sunday, and that’s something I haven’t said much this season.

Russell Wilson played a solid game and the defense absolutely dominated to help Denver win its first game at home in the 2023 season. That’s gotta feel good.

What doesn’t feel good, however, is the Broncos upcoming schedule. They might not win again until December. Seriously, check it for yourself and tell me I’m wrong.

27 – Bears (2-5) 1

Good for the Bears. It’s always a good feeling to win football games in this league, especially when there’s feel-good stories involved like Tyson Bagent. The former Division II standout played a very solid game in his first game as a starting quarterback en route to the team’s dominant home win over the Raiders.

I don’t think he’s suddenly the guy in Chicago, and I certainly don’t feel good about the Bears as a whole still, but while Justin Fields remains on the mend, I’ll be rooting for the kid.

28 – Giants (2-5) 3

They called me a madman. But I know my team like no one else, and I can see losses like this from miles away.

The Giants are still a pretty bad football team, but in the last two weeks, they’ve looked far more competitive than they did in the previous five. That’s an extremely low bar, but it means something. It’s interesting how they look infinitely better with Tyrod Taylor at quarterback than they did with Daniel Jones, but we’ll save that conversation for later.

Here’s what’s important for the Giants: the defense looks like its 2022 self again, and the offense is looking better thanks to actually getting the weapons involved. That’s all they have to do to win, or at least be in football games. They have a very easy next two games, so I don’t see why they can’t keep riding that formula and pick up a few more wins.

29 – Commanders (3-4) 8

I don’t know how much longer I can do this guys.

I know I predicted a loss and am this fanbase’s resident pessimist, but this is just atrocious. Between the team’s play on the field and the incompetence in the building which has trickled down to the players (Jonathan Allen said it best), I’m struggling to find seasons where it has been harder to be a Washington football fan than 2023.

The real shot in the arm that I need is for the new ownership to clean house. But I still think it’s too early for that. Still, the clock is ticking, and it is ticking quite fast. I think change is coming much sooner than we anticipated. Can’t come soon enough.

30 – Raiders (3-4) 7

Blown out by Tyson Bagent. That has to be a new low.

31 – Cardinals (1-6) 4

The Cardinals have gone from being sneaky frisky to being actually frisky to being not so frisky anymore to being straight up bad. They were fun to watch for a bit when they had it in them to challenge their opposition, but they have lost the juice, and subsequently have become a terrible watch.

I think they’ll return to their early season form as they continue to get healthier, but until then, I have no interest in this team.

32 – Panthers (0-6)

The Panthers remain the NFL’s lone winless squad thanks to their bye week. After taking a peek at the schedule, it’s hard to see when that first win will come for Carolina. They should get nice and comfy down here.

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All stats taken from ESPN.

Cover photo taken from Pride of Detroit.

1 – 49ers (5-1)

It wouldn’t feel quite fair to knock the 49ers to lose a game that they lost at the behest of poor refereeing and a missed field goal at the death after losing three of their best players, including the guy who currently has my MVP vote. It especially didn’t feel right considering that this is the NFL where great teams lose all the time, and a lot of other very good teams didn’t look the part on Sunday.

So, San Francisco remains on top, where they rightfully belong. I do think Brock Purdy’s worst performance yet could definitely be a cause for concern, but he was playing a defense that’s on a historic tear and, like I said, lost three of his best offensive players. He and the rest of the unit should be fine moving forward. But, that could change if these injuries start to pile up and derail them — a story that the Niners are definitely tired of hearing at this point. 

2 – Chiefs (5-1) 1

The Chiefs and Eagles have flip-flopped a good deal over these last few weeks. The main reason I’m bumping KC back up to the No. 2 slot is their defense, which has looked a lot better than Philly’s has. This is the best defense the Chiefs have had in the Patrick Mahomes era, and their dominance makes up for the shortcomings of Mahomes and the offense.

Those shortcomings continue to be a bit concerning, but it’s not like they’re the 2022 Broncos offense. Patrick just threw for 300 yards and Rashee Rice is starting to emerge as a potential WR1. The problem is finishing drives and limiting poor turnovers — something the Chiefs have had a lot of trouble with in recent weeks. I’d like to think they’re just throwing stuff at the wall because they’re bored. We won’t have our answer until they travel to Germany in a few weeks to take on the Dolphins. 

3 – Eagles (5-1) 1

Yikes. Losing to the Jets for the first time in franchise history thanks to three Jalen Hurts interceptions and incompetence in the defensive backfield against Zach Wilson is a bad look.

I’m not going to overreact though; the Jets defense is nothing short of elite, even without their top corners, and the Birds were due for a dud. But Hurts hasn’t been nearly as good as he was last year, especially when he plays defenses with a pulse, and although the defensive front is arguably the best in the league, the secondary continues to hold the unit back. Now, they’re dealing with injuries to make matters even worse.

Jalen and the offense will bounce back, but there are some cracks starting to show all over the place. With an absolute gauntlet of elite teams and offenses coming up, we’re about to see just what the 2023 Eagles are made of. 

4 – Dolphins (5-1)

There’s nothing new I can say about the Dolphins. I will say this though… yes, their offense is mesmerizing, but we need to examine their schedule up to this point. 

First was the Chargers: the worst secondary in football. Then, the Patriots: maybe the worst team in football with the worst starting quarterback in the league. Then came the Broncos: worst total defense, worst rushing defense, worst scoring defense and third worst passing defense in football. After starting 3-0, they played the only team with a pulse on their schedule thus far: the Bills, who absolutely decimated them on both sides of the ball. And the Bills aren’t even that good. After that humbling, they’ve beat up on the Giants and Panthers at home, two of the worst teams and offensive lines in the NFL.

So, to recap, Miami’s five wins are against the two worst scoring defenses in the league, the three worst rushing defenses in the league, two of the three worst passing defenses in the league, the second worst passing offense in the league, and the worst scoring offense in the league. 

Maybe, just maybe, this is a fugazi. Only time will tell. I think the Dolphins are a very good team. A great team, even. And they’re only going to get better once they get healthier. I’m just saying, we should be a bit cautious. 

5 – Lions (5-1)

In a week littered with such strange performances from teams at the top, I had half a mind to put the Lions at the No. 1 spot considering how dominant they looked in what we all expected to be a close game in Tampa.

With their top two running backs out, the offense didn’t miss a beat, in large part thanks to Amon-Ra St. Brown’s monster return to the field. Jared Goff continues to play like an MVP candidate behind what might just be the best offensive line in the league. But, as I’ve been saying all year long, the most impressive trend in Detroit is the play of the defense. The Lions are one of only two teams in the league with a top seven offense and defense. The other? San Francisco.

This team is elite. They might just be the best in the NFC right now, if not the league. Considering how wide open the NFL looks right now, who knows what 2023 has in store for the Lions?

6 – Jaguars (4-2)

Death. Taxes. The Jaguars beating the Colts in Jacksonville.

There’s not a whole lot I can say about that performance, other than that it was more dominant than I expected. Travis Etienne continues to look like one of the best running backs in the league, Trevor Lawrence keeps on doing his thing, and the defense still looks better and better by the week.

I understand that they just played a below average team with a backup quarterback, but considering how the Jags looked in their first matchup with the Colts and some of the lows we’ve seen out of them thus far, it inspires a lot of confidence to see them ball out the way they have in recent weeks. 

7 – Ravens (4-2) 2

See what happens when Lamar Jackson gets some help from his surrounding cast? It’s that easy!

Sunday’s win across the pond showcased the exact formula that Baltimore needs to execute week in and week out to keep on winning games: help Lamar enough and let the defense do the rest. Considering the talent level on both sides of the ball, it should not be as hard as they made it look through the first month or so. The Ravens need to keep this up though, as the rest of the division continues to nip at their heels. 

8 – Bills (4-2) 1

The Bills are the only team to move down after a win this week. I feel like I don’t really need to explain myself here, but just in case you needed some evidence, here it is:

Buffalo was outgained by the Giants through the air and on the ground. Buffalo lost the turnover battle. Buffalo lost the time of possession battle. Buffalo didn’t score until the fourth quarter against a bottom five scoring defense. By all accounts, Buffalo should have lost at home as two-touchdown favorites in a primetime game against perhaps the worst team in the NFL, in large part thanks to offensive shortcomings.

I’ll give credit to Josh Allen for pulling this team out of the dirt and leading them to victory, but it should never, ever have been that close. The Giants had the ball on the goal line twice and came away with 0 points. Just a field goal on both of those possessions would have led to the upset. The game marked the second consecutive week where the Bills had just 7 points with five minutes left in the game. There are real issues with this offense, and although the defense had an okay game, they’re clearly reeling from their losses due to injury. If all of this continues to persist, it’ll be hard to have much faith in the Bills moving forward. 

9 – Cowboys (4-2) 1

After last week’s embarrassment, the Cowboys played perhaps the most predictable game of all time on Monday night, picking up a narrow win over the Chargers. But, two things stood out to me about their performance: the play of Dak Prescott and the defensive dominance. 

Both make sense when you consider the context. Dak was facing the worst pass defense in the league, and the defense was due for a bounce-back night after getting tossed around the previous week by the 49ers. But to see it all come together like that was a positive sign.

What’s not a positive sign, however, is how that only led to a three-point win against a pretty “meh” team in the Chargers, who practically handed them the game. My biggest takeaway from these last two weeks is that Dallas is going to be in close games against any team with a semblance of a pulse, and if they match up with a truly elite team, then it’s not going to be pretty. 

10 – Browns (3-2) 1o

I’ve admittedly been underrating the Browns all year long compared to a lot of other Power Rankings. My main rationale for that was that, despite their defensive dominance, I didn’t really buy into their offense. And although I still have to be convinced, I have no choice but to put some respect on Cleveland after Sunday’s huge win over the undefeated 49ers. 

It’s not just that the defense is dominant, by the way. They’re historically great. They’re statistically the best defense that the NFL has seen in 50 years. 50 years! Only giving up 200 yards per game is absolutely incredible. That unit deserves every game ball, but especially Sunday’s, as they completely decimated a 49ers offense which had cut through every other opponent. Yes, Deebo Samuel and Christian McCaffrey weren’t a part of the equation for a large majority of the game, but they still deserve their flowers.

This is the type of defense to completely carry a team through a season, no matter how lackluster the offense is. If they can beat the Niners with P.J. Walker starting at QB, then who knows what else they’re capable of? 

11 – Bengals (3-3) 6

I’m still not going to rush to any conclusions and declare the Bengals as “back” because their offense is simply too inconsistent. This is a big jump, but it’s not because Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase necessarily lit up the scoreboard again. It’s because the Cincinnati defense continues to come up huge in all of the biggest moments. 

By all accounts, it’s a daily middle-of-the-pack defense, and that’s reflected in the statistics. They just get stops and force turnovers at all the most opportune moments. They completely shut down the Seahawks in the redzone on back-to-back drives to seal Sunday’s win. The Bengals had no business winning that game, which shows in the box score, but the defense ensured that they did. And that was absolutely massive as they’re now back to .500 and still just one game out of first place.

Now, they head into a bye against a massive stretch with games consecutive games against San Francisco and Buffalo. If they win one or both of those games, then maybe I’ll say the Bengals are back. 

12 – Rams (3-3)

Predictably, getting Cooper Kupp back completely elevated this already elite offense to new, but familiar heights. There’s not much that needs to be said about that.

The defense played what was probably their best game of the year, which was an inspiring sight. But, they were also playing the Cardinals, and the wheels are starting to come off their offense. So, I’m taking it with a grain of salt.

Simply put, the Rams did what they were supposed to do on Sunday. Nothing more, nothing less. For that, they stay put. I’m going to need to see a lot more out of them against much better opposition to get a better read on them. 

13 – Seahawks (3-2) 5

I feel like I’m being very harsh to the Seahawks here. Maybe it’s deserved considering how they completely threw away Sunday’s win. The way I see it, I’m giving them room to redeem themselves. 

Neither side of the ball looked poor by any means on Sunday as the offense racked up yards at will and the defense got up to their usual lockdown ways, especially in the secondary. They outgained the Bengals by nearly 160 yards, forced one more turnover than Cincy, and held the ball for six more minutes. But, as I said above, the two late redzone stops completely buried them. 

So, by all accounts the Seahawks deserved to win. Still, considering the way it played out in addition to the performances of some other teams in this proverbial tier of the Power Rankings, I had to knock them down this far. 

14 – Texans (3-3) 4

In a season with no standout MVP candidates other than Christian McCaffrey, are were sure C.J. Stroud isn’t in the thick of the race? The rookie signal-caller continues to be the best player in his class, using his precision accuracy and veteran anticipation to lead his team to victories.

The Texans have already matched their win total from a year ago, and it only took six games. That’s a remarkable achievement for this franchise, and it’s all thanks to the former Buckeye. Their defense also continues to improve — they may give up a lot of yards, but they step up when their number is called.

As it stands, the Texans have a long way to go before contending with Jacksonville for a division title. But I love absolutely everything that’s going on in Houston. And it’s only going to keep getting better. 

15 – Jets (3-3) 9

The Jets very well might have the best culture in the NFL. That culture is leading directly to wins. It’s honestly so much fun to watch. 

This team had no business beating the Eagles — for the first time in franchise history, might I add — with Zach Wilson starting under center behind a beat-up offensive line and with the secondary being littered with injuries. But they did thanks to an inspiring fourth quarter performance. The defense is going to get healthier, and for all his faults, Zach Wilson is playing some decent ball, which means more wins are coming for the Jets.

This was the type of win to completely turn a season around. They are going to be in the thick of this Wild Card race. 

16 – Chargers (2-3) 5

I don’t know what to say about the Chargers anymore. The feeling that’s most prominent when it comes to them is concern.

I think Justin Herbert’s hand injury is a bigger problem than we realize, I think Austin Ekeler being largely ineffective in his return is troubling, and that defense is just so damn bad.

Combine all of that with the fact that the Chargers are perennially incapable of winning big or close games and you have a team that’s destined for a very, very mediocre season. 

17 – Steelers (3-2) 2

The Steelers had themselves a bye week ahead of a very interesting matchup out west against the Rams on Sunday in what should be a great test for their defense. More on that tomorrow. 

18 – Packers (2-3) 3

The Packers’ bye week probably couldn’t have come at a better time as Jordan Love tries to bounce back from last week’s miserable Monday night performance and Aaron Jones continues to try and come back from his injury. 

The good news for Green Bay is that they’re facing Denver this week in what figures to be a get-right spot for Love and whoever lines up at running back as the Broncos give up the most total and rushing yards per game of any team in the league. 

19 – Buccaneers (3-2) 6

For the second consecutive home game, the Buccaneers laid a complete dud against one of the NFL’s elites. But for this one to come off a bye week is pretty telling.

This is a team that’s going to beat all of the bad teams on its schedule, and plenty of the mediocre ones. They’re going to put together some eye-opening games, like they did in New Orleans a few weeks ago. They might be good enough to win this division or fight for a Wild Card spot. But they’re really nothing special. 

20 – Saints (3-3) 4

The Saints might just be the most infuriating watch in the NFL right now. They’re just such a nothing team. They put up completely empty stats which mean nothing by the fourth quarter because that’s when they forget how to move the football. The defense is great until it’s time to actually be great, where they refuse to. Their only convincing performance came against what might be the worst offense the NFL has seen in years.

It’s not that the Saints are puzzling. It’s that they’re painfully boring and impossible to care about. They do nothing that makes anyone care about their games, and their games are all the same. It’s mind-numbing. 

21 – Commanders (3-3) 2

Oh look, a win! I almost forgot what these looked like.

Here’s the skinny: it feels good to win, but that was not a very good performance by any means, and I still don’t feel good about this team at all.

Yes, Sam Howell was slicing and dicing to the tune of his first three-touchdown game. But he also kept on taking bad sacks and remains on pace to be the most-sacked quarterback in a season in NFL history. Yes, the defense nabbed three game-clinching interceptions. But they were playing what is probably the worst quarterback in the NFL who handed the game to them on a silver platter.

At the end of the day, we still were outgained by over 200 yards while putting up less than 200 yards ourselves, we held the ball for 13 less minutes, and realistically had no business winning. It’s not a sustainable formula, and one that certainly won’t fly against teams with better quarterbacks than Desmond Ridder. That’s essentially each of the 30 other teams in the NFL. 

22 – Falcons (3-3) 8

I told you so.

The defense is good. The skill position players are more than good.

The quarterback is anything but.

See: No. 21.

23 – Raiders (3-3) 2

The Raiders are kind of like the Saints in the sense that they’re also a “nothing” team, but for some reason, I enjoy watching them far more than New Orleans. At least Vegas keeps things entertaining.

Despite consecutive wins to get back to .500, I’m still not very impressed by this team, and another injury to Jimmy Garoppolo makes it much harder to be. I also hate how Josh Jacobs and Davante Adams continue to be ghosts in this offense. But hey, it’s working. 

24 – Colts (3-3) 3

The news that Anthony Richardson’s season is over is actually so sad. I loved watching the rookie work, but shutting him down is the right decision. He has proven that he has the talent to be the centerpiece of this rebuild, and the Colts know that his health is the top priority. I just hope that he comes back stronger and better than ever. That’s going to be one scary sight for the league. 

So, Garnder Minshew will be the main man in Indianapolis for the rest of the year. He might have led the Colts to some early wins, but Sunday’s showing was his worst yet, and this team might be in for a long few months.

If you ask me, their best course of action is to keep losing and bring home a kid with a name that’s very familiar to Colts fans everywhere to pair up with Richardson next year. Just an idea. 

25 – Vikings (2-4) 1

Meh.

Oh, I almost forgot…

Regression to the mean. 11-0 in one-score games in 2022. 2-4 in such games in 2023. Crazy to think last year’s Vikes would be the NFL’s lone unbeaten right now!

26 – Titans (2-4) 4

God, this team is so boring. I don’t envy any of you who woke up early to watch the Titans do nothing offensively for three hours on Sunday morning. I truly never want anything to do with this team. 

Now, to make matters worse, Ryan Tannehill is hurt once again. I know Malik Willis relieved him on Sunday, but if I were the Titans, I’d go ahead and start Will Levis after the bye if Tannehill can’t go. You picked him in the second round for a reason, and he’s more pro-ready than Willis, somehow. Let’s see what the kid can do. 

27 – Cardinals (1-5)

The wheels are starting to fall off the Cardinals, especially offensively. The injury to James Conner has made them completely ineffective on that side of the ball as they didn’t even reach the endzone on Sunday. The defense also continues to struggle against elite passing attacks as Matthew Stafford and Cooper Kupp completely cut them up.

Are the Cardinals still frisky? Probably. But that’s about it. Wins are going to be a commodity from here on out.  

28 – Bears (1-5)

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse for the Bears, Justin Fields completely messes up his throwing hand. Now the reins are being handed to… Tyson Bagent?

Just forfeit the season. 

29 – Broncos (1-5)

All we can do is point and laugh. My stomach hurts from laughing so much.

30 – Patriots (1-5)

Hey, at least it was close this time! And you can’t really blame Mac Jones for this one! All he did was throw an interception deep in opposing territory and take the game-losing sack in the endzone for a safety. See? Not his fault.

31 – Giants (1-5)

I considered bumping the Giants up this week (see: No. 8), but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Still, this team deserved to emerge victorious on Sunday night.

But, that doesn’t change the fact that they are still absolutely terrible. They only have themselves to blame for this loss. Brian Daboll needs to own up to his mistakes and stop projecting them onto his players. That’s just weird.

32 – Panthers (0-6)

*insert thumbs down emoji here*

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All stats taken from ESPN.

Cover photo taken from Bleeding Green Nation.

1 – 49ers (5-0)

I told you so. 

The 49ers have established themselves as the best team in the NFL by a country mile, and it’s now very easy for everyone to see why. They have football’s equivalent of a superteam, they haven’t lost a regular season game in nearly a year, they still haven’t lost a game that Brock Purdy has started and finished, they have scored 30-plus in each game this year while giving up the least points per game in the league… the list goes on and on and on. 

You just can’t stop these guys. You can only pray to slow them down. 

2 – Eagles (5-0) 2

I have seen enough from the Eagles to feel comfortable putting them above the Chiefs for the time being. This team clearly hasn’t lost a beat from last season, being completely dominant through five regular season games. 

While I’m still not crazy about their secondary — which is the eighth-worst in the league — their run defense is incredible, leading the NFL in rushing yards allowed per game. Jalen Carter is an absolute menace on the inside, and the front is deep and talented enough to stifle teams all game long. The offense is only getting scarier as A.J. Brown continues to dominate and D’Andre Swift keeps getting better at providing a complement in the run game to Jalen Hurts. 

The Birds and the Niners are simply on a collision course with one another that will come to a head on December 3rd in Philly, and probably in late January as well. We might as well just fast forward to that now. 

3 – Chiefs (4-1)

There’s really not much I can say about the Chiefs at this point. If nothing else, they’ve been quite consistent through five games. Patrick Mahomes is amazing, the receivers are still figuring it out, something is really holding Travis Kelce back, and the defense has been pretty good. That’s all there is to it.

Kelce’s new ankle injury is something to monitor moving forward, but the dude is a warrior. He should be good to go. I don’t really think Kansas City needs him in the next few weeks, though. The schedule is only getting easier. 

4 – Dolphins (4-1) 1

Sunday’s win was a return to form for the Dolphins, but I don’t think we necessarily learned anything. We just saw Miami blow out a terrible team despite some pretty poor mistakes from Tua Tagovailoa. I don’t think that’s a cause for concern — Tua usually bounces back, and I think this offense is simply too good for that to become a trend.

However, I think the injury to De’Von Achane could be tough to overcome. Raheem Mostert is obviously a great option for an RB1, but Achane provided a level of speed and athleticism that really opened things up for the rest of the offense, including Mostert. I’m very interested to see what this offense looks like without him. 

5 – Lions (4-1) 4

I really didn’t want to take too much out of a blowout of the worst team in the NFL, but man the Lions look better and better every week. Without Amon-Ra St. Brown and Jahmyr Gibbs, they put up arguably their best offensive effort of the season. Is that not a horrifying truth?

What continues to impress me with Detroit is their defense, which now gives up the sixth-least yards per game in the league. Like I said, they’re only getting better. Now, the NFC North is clearly theirs to lose, and I can’t wait to see what awaits them once the calendar flips to January.

6 – Jaguars (3-2) 6

All it took was a trip to London to get the Jaguars season back on track. They’ve played their best two games of the year in England, and I now have my confidence in them restored, especially after how badly they beat the Bills on Sunday morning. They completely dominated in the trenches, allowing Travis Etienne to dominate, Trevor Lawrence continued his accurate and efficient ways, and the defense locked up a Bills offense that just looked like world beaters against Miami.

Maybe Buffalo’s collapse was more of an emotional crash after that win, but I’m choosing to give a ton of credit to Jacksonville, who can hopefully keep this level of play up now that they’re coming back home. 

7 – Bills (3-2) 5

The first month of the season is over, which means it’s time for the Bills to come back to earth. I don’t know why we’re all not used to this by now. It has become far too predictable.

The box score would have you believe that Josh Allen and the offense was just fine on Sunday, but I don’t really think that was the case. They were stymied almost all game long by the Jags defense, and some garbage time fireworks made the performance look respectable. Despite the struggles, I’d have to believe the offense is good enough to be just fine.

However, I think Buffalo is in a ton of trouble with all of their injuries on the defensive side of the ball. With Tre White and Matt Milano now out for the year after devastating leg injuries, I think it’s a real possibility that the defense really starts to struggle, especially as the schedule ramps up down the stretch. The good news is that they have cupcake after cupcake for the next month or so to figure out those issues. But it’s certainly something to monitor.

8 – Seahawks (3-1)

The Seahawks were one of the first teams with a bye this season ahead of a fascinating matchup against the Bengals, who have seemed to find their stride. I’m very intrigued by how that’s going to play out, but I’ll save that for Thursday. 

9 – Ravens (3-2) 2

The Ravens may have collapsed in rather embarrassing fashion on Sunday, but I honestly don’t think they deserved to lose. Lamar Jackson was sold time and time again by his receivers in a performance that was reminiscent of the Chiefs in Week 1. Like I said then, if those receivers made just a fraction of the catches they should have, Baltimore probably wins the game.

Still, that’s a cause for concern. This receiving core is nothing close to what it was hyped up to be, and if they keep selling Lamar, we could see more games like Sunday’s. But I’d have to think it won’t look that bad again, and the defense is more than good enough to stay afloat. 

10 – Cowboys (3-2) 4

In any other week, the Cowboys are clearly the Team of Shame. Luckily for them, their rivals one-upped them a few days prior. That being said, I will still take this time to take a victory lap and laugh at the Cowboys.

I warned everyone that we might have been looking at fool’s gold with Dallas, who looked dominant against dreadful teams like the Giants, Jets, and Patriots. I always said the 49ers would be the litmus test, and that I never believed they’d be up for it. Lo and behold: a complete and utter dismantling at the hands of an actually elite team that serves as the hump that the Cowboys simply can never get over. And that was the worst loss to them that I’ve ever seen. Dak Prescott played what might’ve been the worst game of his life, the offense couldn’t move the ball, and the supposedly otherworldly defense was sliced and diced by Brock Purdy and company. It was an embarrassment of the highest order — one that we should come to expect from a team as unserious as this one.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don’t let your star pass-rusher have a solo podcast where he talks about his team’s claim to a Super Bowl after one great game against Daniel freakin’ Jones. 

11 – Chargers (2-2) 1

I’d argue that the Chargers won the bye week as they should finally be getting Austin Ekeler back ahead of a huge Monday nighter against the Cowboys.

And I mean that this time. He’s the one who said it, not me. 

12 – Rams (2-3) 1

Despite a tough loss on Sunday, I still feel good about the Rams. The defense continues to be so-so, but the re-addition of Cooper Kupp to the lineup has made this passing offense really, really scary, just as I predicted it would. Him and Puka Nacua are going to be very difficult to stop moving forward, and that alone gives me confidence.

I still don’t think this team is anything crazy — they’re an above average to middle-of-the-pack squad that will be in a lot of fun, tight games. But I think their offensive talent puts them at the top of that proverbial tier of teams. 

13 – Buccaneers (3-1) 1

The Buccaneers had the week off ahead of a very fun matchup with the Lions in which they will be rocking the Creamsicles. That alone makes it my most anticipated game of the week. 

14 – Falcons (3-2) 5

Are the Falcons back? Is Desmond Ridder actually a real quarterback? Is the race for the NFC South title back on? Maybe. Maybe not. But I was pretty impressed with Atlanta’s resolve down the stretch on Sunday against Houston. I never would have expected Ridder to lead a game-winning drive, especially after C.J. Stroud decimated the Falcons defense to take a late lead. But he did, and maybe that’s the type of drive to turn things around him. Only time will tell on that front.

Regardless, this defense is still solid, Bijan Robinson is still awesome, and we’re starting to see some contributions poured in from guys like Drake London and Kyle Pitts, which is a huge positive moving forward. 

15 – Packers (2-3) 2

Did I victory lap my Packers/Jordan Love takes too soon? I sure as hell hope not. But Monday night’s disaster in the desert certainly made it seem that way.

Love was absolutely abhorrent from start to finish, throwing three terrible interceptions without even tossing a touchdown — something that Aaron Rodgers neverdid in over 220 starts in green and yellow. That’s not a great sign. The good news is that Green Bay’s defense was fine and did a great job of limiting Davante Adams from hurting them in his revenge game. Love and the offense simply let them down and were the sole reason the Packers lost that game.

One or two more of those performances, and I might have to eat a lot of crow. 

16 – Saints (3-2) 5

I’m not going to make too much of a blowout of arguably the worst team in football, but the Saints were mighty impressive on Sunday in a game I inexplicably picked them to lose.

The defense is ridiculously good, Alvin Kamara continues to elevate the offense, which isn’t great, but is slowly getting better. If they can turn into a great unit to complement the elite defense, then New Orleans has a real shot of winning this division, which Vegas thinks is theirs to lose.

I disagree with the books, but I’m also the guy who said Mac Jones was going to beat this team. So what do I know?

17 – Bengals (2-3) 5

I’m not going to overreact, I’m not going to overreact, I’m not going to overreact… but it’s damn hard not to.

What do you want me to say? Seeing Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase get back to their old ways was more than enough to restore my faith in the Bengals. But it’s not necessarily the stats they put up — it’s more of how it happened. Burrow was more mobile on Sunday than he was in the previous four weeks combined, and Chase lined up all over the place and ran circles around Arizona’s defense with a diverse route tree no matter where he was. That’s exactly the type of shot in the arm that this offense has needed for a month now. Combine that with another good defensive performance, and there’s plenty to like about where Cincinnati is headed.

But I need to see this more consistently to bump them higher and higher. I am erring on the side of caution… for now. 

18 – Texans (2-3)

There’s not much I can say about the Texans this week. I really hoped they emerged victorious in Atlanta, but I still saw plenty to like and not much to dislike. C.J. Stroud wasn’t as flashy or explosive as he had been in recent weeks, but that has a lot more to do with the great, sticky man coverage of the Falcons. Despite that, he still played a clean game and led what should have been the game-winning drive, which culminated in a gorgeous touchdown throw to Dalton Schultz.

There are some pretty good secondaries left on the schedule, so we’ll see what Houston can muster up moving forward. Until I see Stroud and the offense put up a truly poor performance, I don’t see any reason to bump this team down.  

19 – Steelers (3-2) 1

Against all odds, the Steelers won a football game in large part thanks to one single great offensive play. Kenny Pickett’s gorgeous deep ball to George Pickens to take the lead was truly something to behold, as was most of the rest of the game for Pittsburgh, mostly defensively. They got away with a lot due to the incompetence of the Ravens’ pass-catchers, but they still made huge plays when it mattered most, including an endzone interception for rookie corner Joey Porter Jr. and a game-sealing strip sack of Lamar Jackson.

That’s exactly what the Steelers are: they’re good enough to win games if they make one or two plays on offense and let their defense do the rest. That’s what won them games against Cleveland, Las Vegas, and now Baltimore. But, when that doesn’t happen, which we saw against San Francisco and Houston, then it looks disastrous. 

20 – Browns (2-2) 4

I feel bad for bumping the Browns down so much during their bye week, but that’s just how the chips fell. It doesn’t help that they’re being really weird about this whole Deshaun Watson shoulder injury. They better hope and pray that they don’t have to trot Dorian Thompson-Robinson back out there when the 49ers roll into town. That would be quite ugly.

21 – Colts (3-2) 4

The Colts are truly fascinating. In each of their three wins, Anthony Richardson has either exited early or not played at all due to injury. Winning football games with a backup quarterback is usually the sign of a pretty good team, or at the very least a pretty good culture.

We’ll see how long they can keep that up as Richardson heads to the injured reserve with a shoulder injury and Gardner Minshew handles the reins for the next month or so. But with a constantly improving offense featuring a suddenly dynamic one-two punch at running back with Jonathan Taylor’s return and Zack Moss’ random dominance and a solid group of pass-catchers, I think Indy will stay afloat. 

22 – Titans (2-3) 7

The roller coaster continues! Whee!

As I’ve said repeatedly in the past several weeks, this is getting really annoying. But, at the very least, the predictability of the Titans makes them much, much easier to assess. I’ll see you all next week when they get bumped back up seven spots!

23 – Commanders (2-3) 6

Thursday night’s debacle easily ranks as one of the ten worst losses I have witnessed in two decades as a fan of this team. I’ve exhausted myself in rants and emotional distress in the week that has followed, so once again, I will keep this nice and simple:

When you are coming off back-to-back tough losses — including a 37-3 embarrassment at home — and have given up over 30 points in all but one game this season, then implore your fans to come out in droves for your lone primetime game of the year — which turns into a sellout — against the worst team in the NFL who hasn’t won a game in nearly a full calendar year and is going through more dysfunction than any other team in professional sports — including a 38-point loss and a blown 21-point second half lead on top of a defensive coordinator fire after an FBI raid, just to name a few incidents — just to get absolutely embarrassed by giving up 40 points and an all-time performance to a single wide receiver thanks to the large incompetence of not just the defense as a whole — which is being led by a man who has no remote idea what on earth he is doing — but the wiry-thin and small corner that you deliberately drafted in the first round over several other actually capable prospects, en route to a 20-point, season-derailing loss in which the clearly incapable, ineffective and honestly straight up dreadful head coach doesn’t talk to the team at halftime or at any point during the game, you quite simply become the easiest Team of Shame of all time. In fact, you should arguably bear that burden for the rest of the season for such a disastrous, shameful humiliation. 

…and exhale.  

24 – Jets (2-3) 3

I’m not entirely sure what to make out of the Jets after one of the wackiest, funniest games I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. But some things are clearly apparent here.

Breece Hall is amazing, Dalvin Cook is dreadful, the offensive line is going to continue to get worse, Zach Wilson clearly has some juice but is probably going to lose you more games than he wins you, and the defense might have some rough patches, but they’re still fantastic overall.

I’d say that, when you stir all of those in one pot, you have a five-to-seven-win team. 

25 – Raiders (2-3) 3

You know what Monday night’s win was? It was the Raiders’ patented win early in the season where we think to ourselves: “Is this team actually legit?” The answer is obviously no. That win almost always comes against a team who actually turns out to be not so great.

As I’ve said all year long, I like a lot of pieces with this team, but the Raiders as a whole are absolutely nothing to write home about. They got handed Monday’s win on a silver platter — something that likely won’t happen to them or the remainder of this season.

If you choose to somehow be moved by this team, then you do you. But they can’t fool me. I am familiar with their game. 

26 – Vikings (1-4) 3

Regression to the mean. 11-0 in one-score games in 2022. 1-4 in such games in 2023. 

We’re reaching a point where that’s probably the only thing I need to say about the Vikings on a weekly basis. I have a feeling that I won’t have to in the weeks that follow considering that Justin Jefferson is headed to the injured reserve with a non-contact hamstring injury suffered on Sunday thanks to US Bank Stadium’s turf. Thanks for that, NFL! I really didn’t want to watch the most exciting young receiver of the decade every Sunday!

Jefferson’s absence means that Minnesota is staring down the barrel of a string of tough losses. It might be time to blow it all up.  

27 – Cardinals (1-4) 3

The 2023 Arizona Cardinals in one word? Frisky.

But that’s about it. The Cards are showing that they’re simply a team that’s going to fight, but still lose at the end of the day. With James Conner headed to the injured reserve, they might just turn into a team that straight up loses games without even putting up a fight. It’s going to start getting a lot tougher in the desert for Jonathan Gannon’s bus-riders. 

28 – Bears (1-4) 4

I don’t want to talk about it.

I’ll just say this: good on the Bears for finally getting in the win column, and good for Justin Fields and D.J. Moore to do all that. It was about damn time. I just wish they chose a different game. Literally any other game. 

29 – Broncos (1-4)

As horrible as my team’s situation is, I relish in the fact that it’s not nearly as bad as the Broncos’. I truly cannot fathom completing one of the worst trades in recent memory, then giving up a first round pick for a head coach who said that the previous skipper pulled off one of the worst jobs in history only for that man to return to town and beat him down. That is so embarrassing that it’s hilarious.

Like, extremely hilarious. 

30 – Patriots (1-4) 4

The Patriots are by far the worst team in the AFC, and there’s really only one thing you need to know to back that up: this team has been outscored 72-3 in the last two games. After Bill Belichick suffered the worst loss of his career in Dallas, he came back to Foxboro and suffered his worst home loss as the head man in New England. 

I definitely don’t think it’s his fault. What the hell is any team supposed to do when Mac Jones is its quarterback and its defense is as banged up as it is? There’s simply nothing that the Pats can do at this point except tank. The only thing they have to look forward to is next year. 

31 – Giants (1-4)

It has gone from bad to worse to a lot worse to unsalvageable for the Giants.

A predictable blowout loss to the Dolphins is fine, but what’s not fine is this offensive line’s continued incompetence and injuries continuing to stack up across the board. They just have no healthy players, and the ones that are healthy or at least close to healthy are horrible. There’s a real chance that the Giants have to field their B-team in Buffalo on Sunday night.

At this point, I don’t know if their B-team can beat Bishop Sycamore. 

32 – Panthers (0-5) 2

Now the NFL’s lone winless team, the Panthers have unfortunately been relegated to the bottom of the Power Rankings, giving us our second team in the basement thus far in 2023. And it’s honestly just sad to see. Injuries and extremely poor play across the board has simply doomed this team. And they don’t even have their first round pick or their former stud WR1 to compensate for that.

This calendar year has simply been a comedy of errors for Carolina, and that doesn’t figure to stop any time soon. 

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All stats taken from ESPN.