Category: Sports

Cover photo taken from Sports Illustrated.

1 – Dolphins (3-0) 4

70 points in an NFL game. That’s all that needs to be said.

Miami already boasted the NFL’s best offense, but Sunday’s historic performance catapults them to the top of this week’s list sheerly out of respect. I still like San Francisco more from top to bottom, but it felt wrong not putting the Dolphins at #1. What they’ve been able to do through three games is astounding. They lead the NFL in total yards, passing yards, rushing yards, and scoring. Even though we’re still in September, that’s virtually unheard of. It’s obviously not sustainable over 17 games, and we’ll see how long they can keep this up. But I feel very, very good about the Phins moving forward. 

2 – 49ers (3-0) 1

Like I said above, I still think the 49ers are the NFL’s best team across the board. Another team just happened to score 70 points this week.

But I love absolutely everything San Francisco is doing right now. The offense is moving the ball at will and seamlessly putting up 30 points per game. Brock Purdy still doesn’t look amazing, but he’s doing everything he needs to do to lead his team to victory, especially protecting the ball. Christian McCaffrey and Deebo Samuel are unstoppable. And the defense continues to do its thing. It’s a formula that the Niners should be able to ride all year long. Until someone proves that they can stop it, they’ll be up here indefinitely. 

3 – Chiefs (2-1)

Once again, the Chiefs looked like the team we always expect them to look like on Sunday. It helped that they were playing the worst team in the NFL. 

It was good to see them score more than 22 points for the first time this season. I’m interested to see how things play out for them this week as they’re Welcomed to New York by a very stout Jets defense. We’ll see how Delicate they handle Patrick Mahomes’ ankle after he was rolled up on late in the first half against Chicago. Between that play and a ton of pre-snap penalties, you just have to hope there’s no Bad Blood between him and Jawaan Taylor. Regardless, we can always count on the Love Story of Mahomes and Travis Kelce to find Blank Spaces in opposing defenses and allow the KC offense to make Sparks Fly.

Don’t Blame Me for all these puns. I’m neither sorry nor will I apologize. 

4 – Eagles (3-0)

The Eagles continue to confuse me. They’re 3-0 with three solid wins, but they’re still yet to put their best football on the field.

However, I think Monday night’s win was by far their best performance yet, especially defensively. They forced timely turnovers, notched a safety, and the secondary barely let anything get past them. The offense didn’t have the best game in the world as Jalen Hurts wound up throwing two interceptions, but the running game dominated once again, which is all this team really needs to succeed.

They feel bound to put it all together and play their most complete game of the year on Sunday against Washington, because I know how these things always play out. It makes too much sense. 

5 – Cowboys (2-1) 3

Dallas was bound to be brought back to earth at some point. I just didn’t expect it to look like that.

The loss of Trevon Diggs is clearly taking its toll on this defense. The question is whether or not that will be a short-term thing or a long-term one. Because if this defense — which was off to a historically great start in 2023 — plays like this as the season continues, they’re in trouble. You don’t just give up 222 yards on the ground in this league. It certainly doesn’t help when Dak Prescott turns back into a pumpkin who throws interceptions into triple coverage in the endzone while the offense stumbles in the redzone time and time again. 

Maybe the Cowboys were drinking too much of their own Kool-Aid, and maybe they needed a game like this to snap back to reality. But it’s safe to say that — for now — I’m a bit concerned. 

6 – Bills (2-1) 1

While Buffalo hasn’t exactly played the highest level of competition over the last two weeks, it’s safe to say that Josh Allen and company are having the type of start to the season that we’ve all come to expect out of them. The QB lights up the box score while making flashy play after flashy play and the defense completely shuts down its opposition by wreaking havoc and racking up sacks and turnovers.

This is how each of the last four Septembers have gone for the Bills. So I won’t overreact to anything just yet. This week’s matchup with the Dolphins will be a much better indicator of where they’re at.

7 – Seahawks (2-1) 1

After a weird opener, the Seahawks have put together consecutive performances that are much more reminiscent of what we’ve come to expect out of them last year and this year. They’re running the ball well, imposing their will physically, and allowing Geno Smith to make plays with his arm to put the offense in a position to score.

Still, Seattle feels a bit underwhelming. I don’t think we’ve seen them put together a game that’s even close to their best yet. Sunday’s win over Carolina felt like the best one yet, but there was still plenty to be desired as the defense could have played better and Geno didn’t have his finest showing.

But I still feel far better about this team than most others in this proverbial tier of the Power Rankings.

8 – Lions (2-1) 4

In a week filled with impressive performances, the Lions stood out to me as one of the best teams of the week. I predicted them to lose, and all they did was thoroughly dominate a Falcons team that had been one of the most solid in the league through the first two weeks.

What I was by far most impressed with was Detroit’s defensive effort, giving up just 183 yards and not allowing a touchdown. That’s a massive improvement, albeit against the worst offense they’ve played this year. If that side of the ball continues to play at that level, the Lions could absolutely soar. 

9 – Ravens (2-1) 3

Everyone is allowed a weird, borderline inexplicable loss to a bad team, especially early in the season. But I still have some concerns with this Ravens team.

I understand that injuries are out of their control, but their supposedly elite defense was absolutely carved up by Gardner Minshew and Zack Moss. That’s not great. And I understand that weather was a factor and they probably should have won in overtime if they rightfully got a DPI call in their favor, but again, these things are out of their control. Maybe they should have been more focused on trying to stop an offense full of backups.

10 – Packers (2-1) 1

The last two weeks haven’t been the prettiest for the Packers, but it’s hard not to like what you see, especially with Jordan Love. At the very least, the young QB is an absolute gamer, and Green Bay is going to be in plenty of games with him being as tough and clutch as he has been. For them to come back from 17 down in the fourth quarter after showing absolutely no signs of life on offense really says something.

I understand that they were playing a Saints team that turned anemic once Derek Carr went down, but it’s not like that caused New Orleans’ defense to lay down and die. Love still had to rally the troops and bring the Packers all the way back, and the way they did so was inspiring.

I still feel plenty good about this team moving forward, and I’m very interested to see how they look on Thursday night against Detroit. 

11 – Bengals (1-2) 6

The Bengals are finally off the scheid in 2023, which is almost entirely thanks to their defensive effort and that of Ja’Marr Chase, who put the offense on his back on Monday night.

Joe Burrow still doesn’t look like himself, which continues to be a major concern, but he did what he had to do. I’m not sure why the Bengals made him drop back 53 times on a bad calf, but that’s neither here nor there. His quick passes and the playmaking ability of Chase put the team in enough positions to kick enough field goals to win. Is that a sustainable winning formula? Absolutely not. But it’s working… for now.

I was far more impressed with Cincy’s defense, especially up front as they racked up six sacks and forced two turnovers. That side of the ball will need to do the heavy lifting while Burrow continues to recover from a calf issue, and although they put together that performance against a horrible Rams offensive line, it’s hard not to like what I’ve seen. Hopefully for their sake, they can channel this into some better performances than they had in their first two games. 

12 – Falcons (2-1) 2

No single team disappointed me as much last week as the Falcons. For me to pick them to win only for them to not even amass 200 total yards while refusing to score a touchdown is a bad look. It was the type of poor offensive performance that I’m always weary of with Atlanta.

It’s certainly a problem, but I feel good about their ability to bounce back given what they’ve showed in their first two games. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt for now. They’ll need to reconvince me this week in London. 

13 – Jaguars (1-2) 5

It certainly appears that the Jaguars were drinking too much of their own Kool-Aid, perhaps so much so that they’ve completely drowned in it. They’ve yet to put together a remotely solid performance this season, and there are concerns aplenty with this team that was supposed to be one of the best in football.

The offense is a total mess with drops galore, the secondary is one of the worst in football, and Trevor Lawrence doesn’t look like the quarterback we saw late last year. I feel good about their ability to turn this thing around, but they need to prove themselves as soon as possible. The good news is that the schedule is pretty easy, but the Jags haven’t made anything look easy so far in 2023.  

14 – Chargers (1-2) 2

I could write a book about the Chargers at this point, but I’ll try and keep this brief for both of our sakes.

Sunday’s win was the absolute epitome of what this team is — a stellar offense led by one of the best quarterbacks in football with a dreadful defense that gets gashed all game long but is capable of making enough timely turnovers to win some games. That does not feel like a long-term winning formula.

There’s only so much Justin Herbert can do, and his job just got much harder with Mike Williams suffering a season-ending ACL injury. I don’t think Keenan Allen can put together 15-catch, 200-yard performances every week. The good news is that Austin Ekeler should be returning soon. But unless this defense shores up, it’s hard to feel good about LA’s chances in any game against an offense with a pulse. 

15 – Steelers (2-1) 5

Despite a solid showing on Sunday night, I still have plenty of reservations about Pittsburgh’s offense. I’m not going to be convinced by a good performance against a Raiders defense that can’t stop a nosebleed.

My bigger takeaway from the win in Vegas was how poor the secondary looked. That’s becoming a concerning trend. Against teams that aren’t turnover machines like the Browns and Raiders were — like the 49ers in Week 1 — that’s going to lose the Steelers plenty of games. The offense simply isn’t good enough to make up for any and all defensive shortcomings. 

16 – Browns (2-1) 5

I’ve seen a lot of lists with the Browns in or just outside of the top 10, which is a sentiment I can understand. But I just don’t know what to make of this team at this point. Their inconsistency perplexes me, and until I see some more steady play over the course of several games, I think they’re just going to be a middle of the pack team.

Still, there’s plenty to like with Cleveland. The defense has been nothing short of elite as they rank first in total yards, passing yards, and scoring while ranking second in rushing yards. It’s easy to win games with a unit as dominant as this one. It also helps that Deshaun Watson played perhaps his best game as a Brown on Sunday against the Titans. But again, I’m going to need to see that more consistently to bump this team up higher. 

17 – Commanders (2-1) 4

I don’t wanna talk about it. All I can say is I told you so. I told you not to get your hopes up with this young, raw quarterback and this horrendous offensive line.

The fanbase desperately needed this reality check. Maybe I did too. 

18 – Rams (1-2)

The Rams really confuse me. The only thing I know for certain with them is that their offensive line is terrible and their defense is pretty solid. Other than that, everything else they do is completely up to chance.

We saw how anemic their offense looked when Kyren Williams and Puka Nacua were neutralized — which is something that will probably change once Cooper Kupp re-enters the picture. But ever since their opening win, LA hasn’t shown us much to like. We’ll see how that changes over the next few weeks against some stingy opposition. 

19 – Saints (2-1)

I’m giving the Saints a rare pass for blowing a 17-point fourth quarter lead due to the unfortunate shoulder injury suffered by Derek Carr that’s going to keep him out for a while. Up to that point, this team looked very convincing, and I was ready to give them a massive apology. But they completely collapsed down the stretch, and Jameis Winston didn’t exactly have the best relief appearance.

Still, I feel good about Jameis’ ability to lead this team in Carr’s absence. That just happened to be a tough circumstance to be thrown into. This defense is still elite, and Alvin Kamara is finally back to give the skill position group — which has been shockingly good — a huge boost. I get the feeling the Saints are going to be just fine.  

20 – Patriots (1-2) 3

There’s really not much I can say about the Patriots this week. That was simply the typical post-Brady win over the Jets — terrible offense in terrible conditions with a late defensive or special teams play to secure the win. It’s becoming too predictable at this point, honestly.

Despite this being their only win, it was by far the least convincing performance New England has put together so far this year. But like I said, that’s how their games against the Jets go these days. This weekend’s matchup with Dallas will be a much better benchmark for them.

21 – Buccaneers (2-1) 7

Monday night’s performance was everything that I feared the Buccaneers were capable of thanks to their subpar quarterback play.

Yes, Baker Mayfield had a great opening two games, but they were against two bottom 10 passing defenses. The concerning part of that statistic is that the Eagles have a worse secondary than the Vikings do, statistically. The difference is that, between a nonexistent run game and a defensive disasterclass, the entire game fell on the shoulders of Baker, who is simply not capable of leading a team to victory on his own.

I don’t think many Bucs games will look like Monday night’s, but we should definitely be wary of such a performance moving forward. 

22 – Titans (1-2) 7

I seriously considered making the Titans this week’s Team of Shame, but they get a bit of a pass thanks to going against one of the NFL’s best defenses. Still, that was terrible. They had 94 total yards of offense — ninety four! They couldn’t even get to triple digits! And they didn’t even turn the ball over in the process!

Tennessee just got completely outclassed on both sides of the ball. That’s an early contender for worst performance of the year, but it’s being overshadowed by a horrible game from a certain orange-wearing team this week. Regardless, the Titans are being decked big time, and it’s going to take a lot of convincing for me to bring them back up. 

23 – Vikings (0-3) 1

Regression to the mean. 11-0 in one-score games in 2022. 0-3 in such games in 2023. Starting to sound like a broken record.

You can make the argument that the Vikings deserved to win this game, but I would not listen to such an argument. They lost in the exact same way that has plagued both of their other losses this year: the defense gets torn apart while redzone turnovers ruin prime scoring opportunities that would have won the game. It’s like every Minnesota game this year has been a copy-and-pasted version of the others with a few tweaks here and there. It’s actually stupefying.

Taking all of this into account,, it’s safe to say that we can stick a fork in the 2023 Vikings. Making the playoffs after starting 0-3 is virtually impossible. At this point, they should shift their sights to April’s draft.  

24 – Cardinals (1-2) 6

The Cardinals have been frisky all year long, and it finally paid off in their first win of the season in a massive upset over the Cowboys. Good for them. It was awesome to see their offense ball out, especially against arguably the best defense in the NFL, while their own defense put together a phenomenal performance.

It’s just as I said before the season began: this is a team in a new era that is going to be fighting week in and week out. With a roster that’s way more talented than we thought featuring a defense with a ton of young playmakers, that’s going to translate to a good amount of wins. 

25 – Colts (2-1) 3

For the second consecutive year, the Colts have won a Week 3 game against an elite AFC team that they had absolutely business beating. This one is different from last year’s win over Kansas City, though, as Indy was on the road in Baltimore and came all the way back to win in overtime with a backup QB after he nearly single-handedly lost the game by Orlovsky-ing out of the endzone late in the fourth quarter.

The Colts are like the Cardinals in the sense that they’re now coached by a former Eagles coordinator who is clearly doing a great job of implementing a new culture. This team wants to win, and even without their star young quarterback and running back, that has been apparent in the last couple of weeks. And like the Cardinals, you have to imagine that’ll translate to wins. 

26 – Texans (1-2) 5

In a stunning turn of events, C.J. Stroud is pretty amazing at football. Who could have seen that coming?

The stud rookie quarterback has set the record for most passing yards without an interception through his first three games, and he has done so by utilizing his young weapons like Tank Dell and Nico Collins — throwing the ball with tremendous accuracy and anticipation. Some of the stuff that C.J. is doing is well beyond his years, and reminds me of the flashes that Justin Herbert showed in his 2020 rookie campaign.

With a defense that’s also suddenly playing above expectation levels, I think Houston is going to be in great shape, especially in the long-term. 

27 – Raiders (1-2) 1

Sunday night was the ultimate Jimmy Garoppolo game. He’ll make some nice passes and distribute the ball effectively, but when the going gets tough, he turns into a pumpkin. It obviously doesn’t help when your offensive line might as well not suit up and your running game doesn’t exist.

But that’s obviously not the biggest takeaway from the loss. That would be Josh McDaniels’ incompetence, which is something that I’ve been preaching ever since I developed the ability to speak. He is simply an inept, incapable head coach that will lose you more games than he wins you. That’s really all there is to it. 

28 – Giants (1-2) 3

What can I even say about the Giants at this point? They’re impossible to watch and one of the NFL’s biggest disappointments. I don’t even feel like thinking about them, let alone talk about them. But I do relish in them being terrible. 

29 – Panthers (0-3)

Is there a team more boring than the Panthers right now? They have one of the worst skill position groups in the league, and even when Bryce Young plays, there’s no point in watching. There’s nothing he can do behind that horrendous offensive line. The defense is supposed to be great, but injuries have completely derailed them, and now they’re giving up points in bunches.

You’d think there’s nowhere to go but up from here, but I think it’s actually going to get worse before it gets better. It’s okay Carolina, at least you guys have your first round pick this year… oh wait. 

30 – Jets (1-2) 6

I really don’t feel like talking about the Jets while Zach Wilson continues to start for them. Can we please just move on? For all of our sakes?

31 – Broncos (0-3) 4

In a week littered with potential candidates for the Team of Shame, the Broncos stand out above the rest.

After Sean Payton — who the team traded a first round pick for — went out and said this team had the worst head coaching stint in NFL history, all he has done is run Denver into the dirt with a historically bad 0-3 start that includes Sunday’s 50-point thrashing where they gave up the most points the NFL has seen since the Nixon administration.

At this point, you just wonder how much longer the franchise sticks with him and Russ. They certainly feel stuck in quicksand. And I have no sympathy for them. 

32 – Bears (0-3)

It has never been more over.

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All stats taken from ESPN.