Category: Sports

Cover photo taken from Sports Illustrated.

1 – Dolphins (3-0) 4

70 points in an NFL game. That’s all that needs to be said.

Miami already boasted the NFL’s best offense, but Sunday’s historic performance catapults them to the top of this week’s list sheerly out of respect. I still like San Francisco more from top to bottom, but it felt wrong not putting the Dolphins at #1. What they’ve been able to do through three games is astounding. They lead the NFL in total yards, passing yards, rushing yards, and scoring. Even though we’re still in September, that’s virtually unheard of. It’s obviously not sustainable over 17 games, and we’ll see how long they can keep this up. But I feel very, very good about the Phins moving forward. 

2 – 49ers (3-0) 1

Like I said above, I still think the 49ers are the NFL’s best team across the board. Another team just happened to score 70 points this week.

But I love absolutely everything San Francisco is doing right now. The offense is moving the ball at will and seamlessly putting up 30 points per game. Brock Purdy still doesn’t look amazing, but he’s doing everything he needs to do to lead his team to victory, especially protecting the ball. Christian McCaffrey and Deebo Samuel are unstoppable. And the defense continues to do its thing. It’s a formula that the Niners should be able to ride all year long. Until someone proves that they can stop it, they’ll be up here indefinitely. 

3 – Chiefs (2-1)

Once again, the Chiefs looked like the team we always expect them to look like on Sunday. It helped that they were playing the worst team in the NFL. 

It was good to see them score more than 22 points for the first time this season. I’m interested to see how things play out for them this week as they’re Welcomed to New York by a very stout Jets defense. We’ll see how Delicate they handle Patrick Mahomes’ ankle after he was rolled up on late in the first half against Chicago. Between that play and a ton of pre-snap penalties, you just have to hope there’s no Bad Blood between him and Jawaan Taylor. Regardless, we can always count on the Love Story of Mahomes and Travis Kelce to find Blank Spaces in opposing defenses and allow the KC offense to make Sparks Fly.

Don’t Blame Me for all these puns. I’m neither sorry nor will I apologize. 

4 – Eagles (3-0)

The Eagles continue to confuse me. They’re 3-0 with three solid wins, but they’re still yet to put their best football on the field.

However, I think Monday night’s win was by far their best performance yet, especially defensively. They forced timely turnovers, notched a safety, and the secondary barely let anything get past them. The offense didn’t have the best game in the world as Jalen Hurts wound up throwing two interceptions, but the running game dominated once again, which is all this team really needs to succeed.

They feel bound to put it all together and play their most complete game of the year on Sunday against Washington, because I know how these things always play out. It makes too much sense. 

5 – Cowboys (2-1) 3

Dallas was bound to be brought back to earth at some point. I just didn’t expect it to look like that.

The loss of Trevon Diggs is clearly taking its toll on this defense. The question is whether or not that will be a short-term thing or a long-term one. Because if this defense — which was off to a historically great start in 2023 — plays like this as the season continues, they’re in trouble. You don’t just give up 222 yards on the ground in this league. It certainly doesn’t help when Dak Prescott turns back into a pumpkin who throws interceptions into triple coverage in the endzone while the offense stumbles in the redzone time and time again. 

Maybe the Cowboys were drinking too much of their own Kool-Aid, and maybe they needed a game like this to snap back to reality. But it’s safe to say that — for now — I’m a bit concerned. 

6 – Bills (2-1) 1

While Buffalo hasn’t exactly played the highest level of competition over the last two weeks, it’s safe to say that Josh Allen and company are having the type of start to the season that we’ve all come to expect out of them. The QB lights up the box score while making flashy play after flashy play and the defense completely shuts down its opposition by wreaking havoc and racking up sacks and turnovers.

This is how each of the last four Septembers have gone for the Bills. So I won’t overreact to anything just yet. This week’s matchup with the Dolphins will be a much better indicator of where they’re at.

7 – Seahawks (2-1) 1

After a weird opener, the Seahawks have put together consecutive performances that are much more reminiscent of what we’ve come to expect out of them last year and this year. They’re running the ball well, imposing their will physically, and allowing Geno Smith to make plays with his arm to put the offense in a position to score.

Still, Seattle feels a bit underwhelming. I don’t think we’ve seen them put together a game that’s even close to their best yet. Sunday’s win over Carolina felt like the best one yet, but there was still plenty to be desired as the defense could have played better and Geno didn’t have his finest showing.

But I still feel far better about this team than most others in this proverbial tier of the Power Rankings.

8 – Lions (2-1) 4

In a week filled with impressive performances, the Lions stood out to me as one of the best teams of the week. I predicted them to lose, and all they did was thoroughly dominate a Falcons team that had been one of the most solid in the league through the first two weeks.

What I was by far most impressed with was Detroit’s defensive effort, giving up just 183 yards and not allowing a touchdown. That’s a massive improvement, albeit against the worst offense they’ve played this year. If that side of the ball continues to play at that level, the Lions could absolutely soar. 

9 – Ravens (2-1) 3

Everyone is allowed a weird, borderline inexplicable loss to a bad team, especially early in the season. But I still have some concerns with this Ravens team.

I understand that injuries are out of their control, but their supposedly elite defense was absolutely carved up by Gardner Minshew and Zack Moss. That’s not great. And I understand that weather was a factor and they probably should have won in overtime if they rightfully got a DPI call in their favor, but again, these things are out of their control. Maybe they should have been more focused on trying to stop an offense full of backups.

10 – Packers (2-1) 1

The last two weeks haven’t been the prettiest for the Packers, but it’s hard not to like what you see, especially with Jordan Love. At the very least, the young QB is an absolute gamer, and Green Bay is going to be in plenty of games with him being as tough and clutch as he has been. For them to come back from 17 down in the fourth quarter after showing absolutely no signs of life on offense really says something.

I understand that they were playing a Saints team that turned anemic once Derek Carr went down, but it’s not like that caused New Orleans’ defense to lay down and die. Love still had to rally the troops and bring the Packers all the way back, and the way they did so was inspiring.

I still feel plenty good about this team moving forward, and I’m very interested to see how they look on Thursday night against Detroit. 

11 – Bengals (1-2) 6

The Bengals are finally off the scheid in 2023, which is almost entirely thanks to their defensive effort and that of Ja’Marr Chase, who put the offense on his back on Monday night.

Joe Burrow still doesn’t look like himself, which continues to be a major concern, but he did what he had to do. I’m not sure why the Bengals made him drop back 53 times on a bad calf, but that’s neither here nor there. His quick passes and the playmaking ability of Chase put the team in enough positions to kick enough field goals to win. Is that a sustainable winning formula? Absolutely not. But it’s working… for now.

I was far more impressed with Cincy’s defense, especially up front as they racked up six sacks and forced two turnovers. That side of the ball will need to do the heavy lifting while Burrow continues to recover from a calf issue, and although they put together that performance against a horrible Rams offensive line, it’s hard not to like what I’ve seen. Hopefully for their sake, they can channel this into some better performances than they had in their first two games. 

12 – Falcons (2-1) 2

No single team disappointed me as much last week as the Falcons. For me to pick them to win only for them to not even amass 200 total yards while refusing to score a touchdown is a bad look. It was the type of poor offensive performance that I’m always weary of with Atlanta.

It’s certainly a problem, but I feel good about their ability to bounce back given what they’ve showed in their first two games. I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt for now. They’ll need to reconvince me this week in London. 

13 – Jaguars (1-2) 5

It certainly appears that the Jaguars were drinking too much of their own Kool-Aid, perhaps so much so that they’ve completely drowned in it. They’ve yet to put together a remotely solid performance this season, and there are concerns aplenty with this team that was supposed to be one of the best in football.

The offense is a total mess with drops galore, the secondary is one of the worst in football, and Trevor Lawrence doesn’t look like the quarterback we saw late last year. I feel good about their ability to turn this thing around, but they need to prove themselves as soon as possible. The good news is that the schedule is pretty easy, but the Jags haven’t made anything look easy so far in 2023.  

14 – Chargers (1-2) 2

I could write a book about the Chargers at this point, but I’ll try and keep this brief for both of our sakes.

Sunday’s win was the absolute epitome of what this team is — a stellar offense led by one of the best quarterbacks in football with a dreadful defense that gets gashed all game long but is capable of making enough timely turnovers to win some games. That does not feel like a long-term winning formula.

There’s only so much Justin Herbert can do, and his job just got much harder with Mike Williams suffering a season-ending ACL injury. I don’t think Keenan Allen can put together 15-catch, 200-yard performances every week. The good news is that Austin Ekeler should be returning soon. But unless this defense shores up, it’s hard to feel good about LA’s chances in any game against an offense with a pulse. 

15 – Steelers (2-1) 5

Despite a solid showing on Sunday night, I still have plenty of reservations about Pittsburgh’s offense. I’m not going to be convinced by a good performance against a Raiders defense that can’t stop a nosebleed.

My bigger takeaway from the win in Vegas was how poor the secondary looked. That’s becoming a concerning trend. Against teams that aren’t turnover machines like the Browns and Raiders were — like the 49ers in Week 1 — that’s going to lose the Steelers plenty of games. The offense simply isn’t good enough to make up for any and all defensive shortcomings. 

16 – Browns (2-1) 5

I’ve seen a lot of lists with the Browns in or just outside of the top 10, which is a sentiment I can understand. But I just don’t know what to make of this team at this point. Their inconsistency perplexes me, and until I see some more steady play over the course of several games, I think they’re just going to be a middle of the pack team.

Still, there’s plenty to like with Cleveland. The defense has been nothing short of elite as they rank first in total yards, passing yards, and scoring while ranking second in rushing yards. It’s easy to win games with a unit as dominant as this one. It also helps that Deshaun Watson played perhaps his best game as a Brown on Sunday against the Titans. But again, I’m going to need to see that more consistently to bump this team up higher. 

17 – Commanders (2-1) 4

I don’t wanna talk about it. All I can say is I told you so. I told you not to get your hopes up with this young, raw quarterback and this horrendous offensive line.

The fanbase desperately needed this reality check. Maybe I did too. 

18 – Rams (1-2)

The Rams really confuse me. The only thing I know for certain with them is that their offensive line is terrible and their defense is pretty solid. Other than that, everything else they do is completely up to chance.

We saw how anemic their offense looked when Kyren Williams and Puka Nacua were neutralized — which is something that will probably change once Cooper Kupp re-enters the picture. But ever since their opening win, LA hasn’t shown us much to like. We’ll see how that changes over the next few weeks against some stingy opposition. 

19 – Saints (2-1)

I’m giving the Saints a rare pass for blowing a 17-point fourth quarter lead due to the unfortunate shoulder injury suffered by Derek Carr that’s going to keep him out for a while. Up to that point, this team looked very convincing, and I was ready to give them a massive apology. But they completely collapsed down the stretch, and Jameis Winston didn’t exactly have the best relief appearance.

Still, I feel good about Jameis’ ability to lead this team in Carr’s absence. That just happened to be a tough circumstance to be thrown into. This defense is still elite, and Alvin Kamara is finally back to give the skill position group — which has been shockingly good — a huge boost. I get the feeling the Saints are going to be just fine.  

20 – Patriots (1-2) 3

There’s really not much I can say about the Patriots this week. That was simply the typical post-Brady win over the Jets — terrible offense in terrible conditions with a late defensive or special teams play to secure the win. It’s becoming too predictable at this point, honestly.

Despite this being their only win, it was by far the least convincing performance New England has put together so far this year. But like I said, that’s how their games against the Jets go these days. This weekend’s matchup with Dallas will be a much better benchmark for them.

21 – Buccaneers (2-1) 7

Monday night’s performance was everything that I feared the Buccaneers were capable of thanks to their subpar quarterback play.

Yes, Baker Mayfield had a great opening two games, but they were against two bottom 10 passing defenses. The concerning part of that statistic is that the Eagles have a worse secondary than the Vikings do, statistically. The difference is that, between a nonexistent run game and a defensive disasterclass, the entire game fell on the shoulders of Baker, who is simply not capable of leading a team to victory on his own.

I don’t think many Bucs games will look like Monday night’s, but we should definitely be wary of such a performance moving forward. 

22 – Titans (1-2) 7

I seriously considered making the Titans this week’s Team of Shame, but they get a bit of a pass thanks to going against one of the NFL’s best defenses. Still, that was terrible. They had 94 total yards of offense — ninety four! They couldn’t even get to triple digits! And they didn’t even turn the ball over in the process!

Tennessee just got completely outclassed on both sides of the ball. That’s an early contender for worst performance of the year, but it’s being overshadowed by a horrible game from a certain orange-wearing team this week. Regardless, the Titans are being decked big time, and it’s going to take a lot of convincing for me to bring them back up. 

23 – Vikings (0-3) 1

Regression to the mean. 11-0 in one-score games in 2022. 0-3 in such games in 2023. Starting to sound like a broken record.

You can make the argument that the Vikings deserved to win this game, but I would not listen to such an argument. They lost in the exact same way that has plagued both of their other losses this year: the defense gets torn apart while redzone turnovers ruin prime scoring opportunities that would have won the game. It’s like every Minnesota game this year has been a copy-and-pasted version of the others with a few tweaks here and there. It’s actually stupefying.

Taking all of this into account,, it’s safe to say that we can stick a fork in the 2023 Vikings. Making the playoffs after starting 0-3 is virtually impossible. At this point, they should shift their sights to April’s draft.  

24 – Cardinals (1-2) 6

The Cardinals have been frisky all year long, and it finally paid off in their first win of the season in a massive upset over the Cowboys. Good for them. It was awesome to see their offense ball out, especially against arguably the best defense in the NFL, while their own defense put together a phenomenal performance.

It’s just as I said before the season began: this is a team in a new era that is going to be fighting week in and week out. With a roster that’s way more talented than we thought featuring a defense with a ton of young playmakers, that’s going to translate to a good amount of wins. 

25 – Colts (2-1) 3

For the second consecutive year, the Colts have won a Week 3 game against an elite AFC team that they had absolutely business beating. This one is different from last year’s win over Kansas City, though, as Indy was on the road in Baltimore and came all the way back to win in overtime with a backup QB after he nearly single-handedly lost the game by Orlovsky-ing out of the endzone late in the fourth quarter.

The Colts are like the Cardinals in the sense that they’re now coached by a former Eagles coordinator who is clearly doing a great job of implementing a new culture. This team wants to win, and even without their star young quarterback and running back, that has been apparent in the last couple of weeks. And like the Cardinals, you have to imagine that’ll translate to wins. 

26 – Texans (1-2) 5

In a stunning turn of events, C.J. Stroud is pretty amazing at football. Who could have seen that coming?

The stud rookie quarterback has set the record for most passing yards without an interception through his first three games, and he has done so by utilizing his young weapons like Tank Dell and Nico Collins — throwing the ball with tremendous accuracy and anticipation. Some of the stuff that C.J. is doing is well beyond his years, and reminds me of the flashes that Justin Herbert showed in his 2020 rookie campaign.

With a defense that’s also suddenly playing above expectation levels, I think Houston is going to be in great shape, especially in the long-term. 

27 – Raiders (1-2) 1

Sunday night was the ultimate Jimmy Garoppolo game. He’ll make some nice passes and distribute the ball effectively, but when the going gets tough, he turns into a pumpkin. It obviously doesn’t help when your offensive line might as well not suit up and your running game doesn’t exist.

But that’s obviously not the biggest takeaway from the loss. That would be Josh McDaniels’ incompetence, which is something that I’ve been preaching ever since I developed the ability to speak. He is simply an inept, incapable head coach that will lose you more games than he wins you. That’s really all there is to it. 

28 – Giants (1-2) 3

What can I even say about the Giants at this point? They’re impossible to watch and one of the NFL’s biggest disappointments. I don’t even feel like thinking about them, let alone talk about them. But I do relish in them being terrible. 

29 – Panthers (0-3)

Is there a team more boring than the Panthers right now? They have one of the worst skill position groups in the league, and even when Bryce Young plays, there’s no point in watching. There’s nothing he can do behind that horrendous offensive line. The defense is supposed to be great, but injuries have completely derailed them, and now they’re giving up points in bunches.

You’d think there’s nowhere to go but up from here, but I think it’s actually going to get worse before it gets better. It’s okay Carolina, at least you guys have your first round pick this year… oh wait. 

30 – Jets (1-2) 6

I really don’t feel like talking about the Jets while Zach Wilson continues to start for them. Can we please just move on? For all of our sakes?

31 – Broncos (0-3) 4

In a week littered with potential candidates for the Team of Shame, the Broncos stand out above the rest.

After Sean Payton — who the team traded a first round pick for — went out and said this team had the worst head coaching stint in NFL history, all he has done is run Denver into the dirt with a historically bad 0-3 start that includes Sunday’s 50-point thrashing where they gave up the most points the NFL has seen since the Nixon administration.

At this point, you just wonder how much longer the franchise sticks with him and Russ. They certainly feel stuck in quicksand. And I have no sympathy for them. 

32 – Bears (0-3)

It has never been more over.

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All stats taken from ESPN.

Cover photo taken from AS USA.

1 – 49ers (1-0)

San Francisco was probably the best team in the league entering Week 1. Their performance in Pittsburgh validated that sentiment. They went on the road and made a seemingly solid Steelers team look like they didn’t belong on the same field as them. Pittsburgh never gets embarrassed like that, especially at home.

Brock Purdy looked fantastic just six months removed from his UCL surgery, Christian McCaffrey was dominant as always, Brandon Aiyuk looked like a true WR1, and the defense was just mesmerizing. No one in the world is beating the 49ers when they play like they did on Sunday. 

2 – Cowboys (1-0)

Dallas didn’t just have the most dominant performance of Week 1. They had one of the most dominant performances I’ve ever seen. I seriously considered putting them at the top spot this week.

I expected them to go into East Rutherford and look significantly better than the Giants, but I never could have expected the type of game they had, especially defensively. I had very high hopes for that unit, but to pitch a road shutout in a divisional game and dominate a seemingly good offensive line the way they did was stunning. Seven sacks, two interceptions — including a pick six — a blocked field goal for a touchdown, and five forced fumbles is the type of statline you put up when you play your younger sibling in Madden for the first time.

And it wasn’t just the defense — the offense was able to move the ball up and down on a pretty solid Giants defense. Tony Pollard thrived in his first game as the RB1, and it didn’t matter at all that the passing game wasn’t very effective due to the pouring rain. The Cowboys dominated in the trenches on both sides of the ball. I don’t know if it will look like that every week, but I think we can get used to seeing it. 

3 – Chiefs (0-1)

Let’s all pump the brakes. The Chiefs are going to be just fine. God forbid they lose a game by one point without arguably the best tight end of all time and a top three defensive tackle in football!

You know what the funniest part of this whole narrative is? Kansas City would have won if Kadarius Toney made literally any of the catches he dropped. The first one would have prevented a pick six, the second would have set up a score, and the third would have set up the winning field goal. For the Chiefs to be largely in control in that game without Travis Kelce and Chris Jones tells me everything I need to know about them. They’re a very good football team. And once those two get back, it’ll be curtains for the league.

A lot is being made of the lack of WR talent on the team, which is fair. But once Kelce is back, it’ll look a lot like it did last year — defenses will be so consumed with Kelce that everyone else is going to have space to operate.

And I was thoroughly impressed with the Chiefs defense. The young guys like McDuffie, Karlaftis, and Bolton are absolutely hooping. With Jones back, they’ll also be back to being a very, very good unit.

This team is going to be more than fine. Just wait a bit. 

4 – Eagles (1-0)

I’m giving most teams that played in the elements the benefit of the doubt. But I honestly wasn’t very impressed with the Eagles on Sunday.

Their offense only scored one touchdown, and it was after a fumble set them up at the 26-yard line. Their patented run game only generated 97 yards on the ground as they were outgained by 132 yards of total offense by a team that’s significantly worse on that side of the ball. I understand pouring rain doesn’t exactly enhance an offense, but the Eagles looked much better in those conditions last year against Jacksonville than they did on Sunday in Foxboro.

The defense didn’t have the best game on paper, but there was a lot to like with their performance. Darius Slay returned an interception 70 yards for a score, Jalen Carter was impossible to stop in his debut, and Jordan Davis forced a fumble. I don’t know how or why there were so many coverage breakdowns that let Mac Jones cut them up for 316 yards and 3 touchdowns, but I get the impression that these are just some growing pains that come with a new defensive scheme. They’ll probably be just fine.  

5 – Dolphins (1-0)

We all know Tua Tagovailoa is a solid quarterback. We all know that Tyreek Hill is one of the best receivers in football and perhaps the single most dynamic player in the league. But I don’t think any of us could have predicted that.

Tua and Tyreek’s offensive explosion on Sunday in Los Angeles was simply stunning. I was mesmerized from start to finish. Tua played what has to be the best game of his career — including making hands down the best throw of his career, the 4th quarter deep shot on the run to Hill — against a very solid Chargers defense. He was pinpoint with his accuracy, he made good decisions, and he put up one of the best Week 1 performances ever. It helps when you’re throwing the ball to Tyreek Hill, who simply never slows down. He embarrassed LA’s defense all day long with his once-in-a-lifetime blend of speed and ball skills. It might’ve been the most impressive game he has played as well.

Despite the offensive explosion, Miami’s defense left a lot to be desired. They gave up 433 yards of offense including a whopping 234 on the ground, allowing the Chargers to gash them for 5.9 yards per carry. But, when they needed it most, the defense shored up, especially up front. This is a unit that figures to get better with time as the new pieces continue to gel under Vic Fangio. Once that happens, this team is going to be terrifying. 

6 – Jaguars (1-0)

It wasn’t pretty, but how many road divisional games are?

I was very confident in picking the Jaguars last Thursday, but as time went on, I got more and more skeptical. I always thought they’d win, but a struggle seemed likely. It was certainly a struggle, but a very weird one.

The wacky live ball fumble returned for a touchdown and a few other nice plays from the Colts made things difficult, but in the end, the Jags looked great in all of the ways I expected them to. Calvin Ridley burst onto the scene with a fantastic opening game in a Jacksonville uniform, Travis Etienne had a solid outing, and Trevor Lawrence was absolutely pinpoint with the football.

The defense didn’t have the best day in the world, but I certainly liked what I saw from Travon Walker, who could be in for a special sophomore campaign. The Jaguars needed to get this weird one out of the way ahead of their Week 2 matchup with Kansas City. Now that they have, they should be in for a torrid stretch of football.

7 – Packers (1-0)

I know it’s the Bears, but… I told you so?

It has only been one game against the worst team in the league, so I want to proceed with caution. But at this rate, I’ve nailed all of my takes about the Packers thus far. Their defense is still great. Jordan Love is a fantastic talent that will only get better. All of their young receivers are dogs. They are going to continue to run this division.

Sure, it wasn’t a perfect performance by any means. But the way they turned it on in the second half was truly something to behold. This team has the talent and the coaching to have a great regular season, just like I predicted.

8 – Lions (1-0)

Kudos to the Lions for proving me wrong so far. I won’t get into the reasons why the win doesn’t mean as much as most people think it does because I already did that (see: No. 3). I’ll use this space to talk about what I liked with the Lions on Thursday.

I have to start with Jared Goff, who not only looked very comfortable, but very effective. He made some fantastic throws, especially over the middle, and I was very pleasantly surprised with how poised he looked in the pocket. And this was with two of his receivers — Marvin Jones Jr. and Josh Reynolds — being extremely ineffective. Obviously it helps when you’re throwing to Amon-Ra St. Brown, who looked incredible and could be in for his best season yet. He also got some lifts from his new RB duo of David Montgomery and Jahmyr Gibbs — who clearly is the flashier back and should be used more, but might be being saved for later this season, who knows.

Defensively, I thought the newcomers really splashed. Jack Campbell looked effective in both the run and pass defense, C.J. Gardner-Johnson had a few key PBUs, and Brian Branch had the game-changing pick six that essentially won the game for Detroit.

Everything is really coming together for this Lions team right now, and I think they’re only going to continue trending upwards. I’m ready to eat crow.

9 – Chargers (0-1)

New season, same old Chargers.

Offense puts up over 400 yards? Defense is worth over a half billion dollars in contract money and has so-called superstars all over the place and is facing an offensive line without it’s elite starting left tackle? That’s cool, they’re going to give up over 500 yards, including 466 through the air with 211 going to one Tyreek Hill. Run game is absolutely feasting? Doesn’t matter, the passing game can’t follow suit.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like Sunday was a total disaster for LA. The team looked pretty good for the most part against one of the best teams in the league. But that was a performance that they need to put in the rear view mirror, especially defensively.

I think the only thing they should feel good about is the fact that they have Austin Ekeler. In every other aspect, they need to go back to the drawing board. 

10 – Ravens (1-0)

How foolish of us to believe that the injury bug wouldn’t live rent-free in Baltimore this season. Some things never change.

Despite a blowout win on Sunday, the Ravens probably feel worse now than they did at this time last week. J.K. Dobbins suffered his third consecutive season-ending injury with a torn Achilles after being tackled from a weird angle, Marcus Williams could miss extended time with a torn pec, and both Ronnie Stanley and Tyler Linderbaum left the game due to lower leg injuries. I think it’s safe to say that without their starting running back and potentially two star offensive linemen, this running game could struggle. And without one of the leaders of the defensive backfield, the Ravens secondary could be in for some more tough times.

On top of all this, Lamar Jackson looked straight up terrible against a bad Texans team. He was careless with the football, inaccurate with his passes, and ineffective on the ground.

But it’s not all doom and gloom in the Charm City. Zay Flowers looked electric in his NFL debut, and their front seven is still elite. Those are about the only two positives I have for this team right now. 

11 – Bengals (0-1)

I don’t have many words for the Bengals this week. There’s just nothing I can say. This is their annual disasterclass in Cleveland. I’m not going to overreact like I’m sure many will. I’m just going to acknowledge this yearly occurrence and I’m going to move forward. 

12 – Jets (1-0)

I don’t think I have ever seen such a bittersweet few hours for a team like the Jets had on Monday night.

The Aaron Rodgers era lasted four plays. It’s next-level heartbreak for a franchise that has endured it for far too long. I’m devastated for those fans that created one of the most incredible environments I’ve seen in an NFL game in a long time.

But through all that, the Jets came out and played their asses off. It was an incredibly inspiring performance, predominantly defensively. They backed up all the hype on that side of the ball with an amazing showing — dominating at every level to the tune of 16 points allowed and 4 turnovers generated. The secondary had Josh Allen seeing ghosts as Jordan Whitehead picked him off three times. The front looked like one of the best in football. And we can never forget the special teams winning it in overtime with Xavier Gipson’s punt return touchdown.

But now we must look to the future. Unfortunately for New York, that’s another season of Zach Wilson, barring a likely move for a quarterback. Garrett Wilson — who made one of the best catches I’ve ever seen — Breece Hall, and Dalvin Cook all looked great on Monday night, but Wilson proved that he’s still the same old bust. I think the Jets should definitely search for an alternative; I just have no idea what that alternative would be.

This performance signified what these Jets are capable of: winning a Super Bowl. But they’ll never do that with Wilson. They might not do it at all without Rodgers. They might not even make the playoffs. That is sports cruelty at its finest. 

13 – Bills (0-1)

I’m really never wrong.

Josh Allen’s turnovers have been a problem for so long now, and I’ve been talking about how that’s a massive problem since last year. It’s a miracle that it took this performance to people to realize it. He’s as careless as any quarterback in the NFL — which includes the likes of Zach Wilson, who he just lost to. He makes terrible decisions both throwing and running the ball, and he actively holds his team back. Spoiler alert: that means the Bills are going nowhere fast with his shenanigans. People love to place the blame on the lack of a run game or a bad offensive line, which isn’t exactly unwarranted. But because Allen makes some flashy throws and hurdles over a defender every once in a while we ignore the fact that he’s just as big of a problem as any on this Buffalo team.

With a distinct lack of offensive talent and clear defensive struggles on the way, I think the Bills could firmly be in a position to take the step back that I thought they would. 

14 – Rams (1-0)

I truly never could have seen that coming.

I said this team was the worst in the league. I said they’d suffer the worst defeat of the week. I have been eviscerating them for months. I said Matthew Stafford was cooked. For them to go out and simply dominate the way they did makes me seem really, really silly.

The Rams haven’t looked that good on either side of the ball since the Super Bowl. I honestly don’t know how we got here. Stafford looked like his Super Bowl self, Puka Nacua of all people stepped up as the Cooper Kupp replacement, Kyren Williams had himself a day, and the defense absolutely locked up one of the best offenses in football.

I have no idea if this is who the Rams are or if this is just a fluke. But they deserve my respect this week. Let’s just hope my preseason prediction doesn’t end up as the single worst take of my career. 

15 – Seahawks (0-1)

Here’s a new Power Rankings addition for the 2023 season: every week, I will make one team my Shamed Team of the Week and simply not talk about them because of how ashamed I am of them.

Week 1’s honor goes to none other than the Seattle Seahawks, who were embarrassed at home by the team I said was the worst in football and didn’t have its best offensive player. Congrats on being the first winners of this award, Seattle!

16 – Browns (1-0)

The Browns are such a weird team. For 16 games of the year, they look incompetent. But for that one home game against the Bengals, they pull out all the stops. Their defense turns into the ’85 Bears while their offense does what they need to do for a blowout win. The fact that this keeps happening is just weird.

Sunday’s win marks the ninth win in the last 11 games in Cleveland against the Bengals, including the last four against Joe Burrow. Like the Rams, I don’t know if this is who the Browns actually are, or if this is just a one game thing. But also like the Rams, I’m going to put some resect on them for now. 

17 – Falcons (1-0)

Solid showing, Atlanta. It was as formulaic as it gets for you guys. And that’s a pretty solid formula.

The Falcons looked exactly how we expected them to look, if not better. That certainly increases my confidence in this team. The running game thrived with Bijan Robinson and Tyler Allgeier, and Robinson made incredible plays in the passing game. The defense also looked drastically improved with some solid plays made up front and newcomer Jessie Bates snagging two interceptions.

But those were the expected improvements. Everyone was waiting to see what Desmond Ridder would look like, and while most people expected a step in the right direction, I was vindicated on my steadfast take that he is simply not good. There was a time where he had four completions for zero yards. Zero! You can’t even blame the scheme for that. And it’s definitely not like this offense isn’t talented. There are teams that would love to have Drake London, Kyle Pitts, or Bijan Robinson. Ridder has all three at his disposal! He’s just not a starting quarterback, let alone a franchise quarterback.

The Falcons have their guys everywhere else, which could take them places this season. But they need to address the quarterback position ASAP.

18 – Patriots (0-1)

As far as moral victories go, that was the best win of the week.

New England should feel great about their defense performance against one of the league’s top offense, as well as their own passing offense’s numbers against one of 2022’s best secondaries. Mac Jones played what was probably his best game since his rookie season with over 300 yards and 3 touchdowns. He did throw a game-changing pick six, but it was off his receiver’s hands while rain poured down, so I’m giving him a very slight pass.

But I think the Patriots probably feel as good as possible considering the fact that they lost the game. I think there’s some very big positives to take away from Sunday. And with Buffalo reeling and New York losing its star quarterback, this division could be wide open. Don’t count out these Patriots. 

19 – Steelers (0-1)

The Steelers very nearly got the award that the Seahawks got, but then I remembered that Pittsburgh lost to the team I said was the best in the NFL while Seattle lost to the team I said was the worst in the NFL. So Mike Tomlin’s boys are off the hook in that regard. They are not off the hook in any other regard, however. Because that was really, really embarrassing.

The Steelers never lay duds like that at home, especially not with tons of hype and expectation surrounding them. They’re supposed to be the team that plays up to their opponents. They’re not the team that lays down and dies for sixty minutes, including a nearly 30-minute stretch where they could only muster one yard of offense. One yard! I don’t care whose defense you’re up against, that’s simply inexcusable. I’ve said it a million times — I don’t know how or why Matt Canada is still on this staff. The offense has plenty of young talent that could be so much more than they currently are, but they’ll never get there under Canada. It doesn’t help that Diontae Johnson ripped his hamstring in two on Sunday and is likely going to miss extended time.

Here are the positives for the Steelers: T.J. Watt is a superhuman coming off the edge and Minkah Fitzpatrick is still the best safety in the NFL. But once you look at the rest of the defense, the negatives creep back in. Cam Hayward is going to miss extended time with a groin injury. Patrick Peterson looked every bit like a 33-year old cornerback on his way out of the league. And the rest of the secondary clearly has the same problems that have plagued them for so long.

Perhaps we were a bit premature in declaring the Steelers’ ability to be anything but mid for the millionth straight year. 

20 – Commanders (1-0)

A win is a win. It wasn’t pretty by any means — in fact it was rather ugly — but it’s a win. And for the fans of this city and everyone else involved that showed up and showed out on Sunday, that feels really, really good.

Of course I have my concerns. The offensive line is just about as putrid as expected. Sam Howell clearly still has some things to work on. The run game wasn’t great. The receivers need to get more involved. Ball security is a real issue — Antonio Gibson should honestly be RB3 on the depth chart at this point. But when the going got tough, the offense pulled themselves up and made every play they needed to in order to come away with a win, and a lot of that was on Howell’s shoulders. His poise and his confidence never got rattled despite the struggles and getting headhunted by the Cardinals defense. That is something that I absolutely love to see.

But what really won us that game was the defense, which we should all come to expect at this point. The front was absolutely dominant. Daron Payne and Jonathan Allen completely gobbled up the interior. Montez Sweat was far and away the best player on the field and truly won the game with the fourth quarter forced fumble. The secondary held up for the most part with Darrick Forrest and Kam Curl continuing to prove themselves as one of the best safety duos in the league. And Emmanuel Forbes poetically made the game-winning PBU to usher in the new era of Washington football with a 1-0 start in front of a sold out home crowd.

Like I said, that feels really good. 

21 – Buccaneers (1-0)

One thing about Baker Mayfield: that dude is going to compete his tail off, no matter what. There’s not many built like him in this league. It’s honestly inspiring to watch some of the stuff he does. It almost makes up for his lack of ability as a quarterback. But when you’re playing the Vikings defense, you can get away with those deficiencies.

In the second half, the Bucs went on drives of 15, 10, and 10 plays — the last of which iced the game. That’s incredible for a team who looked inept at offense with Tom Brady at the helm the last time we saw them. I was also very impressed with the defensive effort from Tampa Bay. I kind of wrote that unit off, but they did their thing against a pretty good offense. They let up a lot of yards and chunk plays, but when the stops needed to be made, they got them, and Christian Izien’s redzone interception of Kirk Cousins was really the difference in the game. In a division with young quarterbacks and the very bad Derek Carr, I think this defense can rise to the occasion and be the reason the team wins games. We’ll see if these types of efforts can continue. 

22 – Vikings (0-1)

I told you so. Regression to the mean. The Vikings were 11-0 in one-score games last year. They’re 0-1 in such contests to start 2023. That’s really all that needs to be said.

This team got extremely lucky in so many key spots last year. That luck won’t be with them throughout this season. Their flaws will be exposed. Their defense will lose them games like they did on Sunday. The offense is bound to make mistakes like Kirk Cousins’ redzone interception. Justin Jefferson will look very sad on the sideline despite putting up monster numbers. This is who the Vikings are. And there’s no more masquerade. 

23 – Saints (1-0)

That was about as unimpressive a win as I’ve ever seen. Probably because they didn’t deserve to win. The Titans should have and would have won if the referees didn’t blow a scoop-and-score dead, but such is life in the NFL.

Still, I feel worse about the Saints now than I did last week, largely because Derek Carr looked pretty awful for the most part. A lot of that will get overshadowed by guys like Chris Olave making plays and the passing game putting up numbers, but man. All the problems he had down the stretch in Vegas are already showing in New Orleans. I know 300 yards is nothing to scoff at, but the tape certainly isn’t inspiring. And neither is the offensive line.

But if the Saints are going to do this in every game this season, I still like their chances. The defense looked pretty good, albeit against perhaps the worst starting QB in the NFL at this point. Their new kicker Blake Grupe is clearly ready. And they shored up across the board when they needed to. I guess that’s all you can ask for.

24 – Raiders (1-0)

Jimmy Garoppolo is bring his winning ways to the desert. Okay, maybe not, but 1-0 with a road win over a divisional opponent is a good start.

Jimmy didn’t look half bad, though. He was accurate other than a tough interception in the endzone, had a strangely great repertoire with Jakobi Meyers, and made two really nice touchdown throws. The defense also played a very nice game, but I’m taking that with a grain of salt considering they were going up against the mighty Broncos offense. And I’m also going not going to overreact to a poor rushing performance from Josh Jacobs considering the quality of defense he was going up against.

At the end of the day, I was pleasantly surprised with what I saw. I hope Meyers — who is in concussion protocol after getting absolutely crunched by Justin Simmons — is okay, because if Sunday was any indication, the Raiders could have a sneaky good WR duo with him and Davante Adams. 

25 – Titans (0-1)

For the sake of anyone and everyone who watches the Titans, can we please move on from Ryan Tannehill? He’s 35 years old, his best years are long behind him, and this offense is going absolutely nowhere with him under center. You have not one, but two young QBs who could greatly benefit from getting the reps. Just give the offense to them instead. Because they’re absolutely unwatchable as it currently stands.

I will say that this is exactly what I expected from Tennessee: a dreadful offense with a solid defense. Their front had a solid game with four sacks and great run defense, but the secondary got torched. If that problem persists and the offense doesn’t wake the hell up, the Titans could end up being even worse than I imagined. 

26 – Broncos (0-1)

Here’s the Broncos’ week summed up perfectly: Russell Wilson looked vastly improved and still only threw for 177 yards on a drab 5.2 yards per completion as the offense put up just 16 points — with just a single field goal coming in the second half — and lost to the Raiders by a point. You can change the head coach, you can talk all you want, but at the end of the day, these are clearly the same Denver Broncos.

The good news is that the defense is still great. But nothing they do can make up for the offensive shortcomings. They’re the reason that the Broncos were in that game late, but they couldn’t get the stops they needed to prevent the Raiders from icing the game away late in the fourth quarter. There’s simply no reason to believe that anyone involved in this operation is capable of turning this disaster around. The Denver Broncos are in football purgatory. 

27 – Colts (0-1)

All things considered, that went pretty well.

The Colts didn’t have the world’s best opener in the world, but I think they have to like what they saw. Anthony Richardson had himself a nice game, looking sharp while notching a rushing and passing touchdown. I think Colts fans everywhere would have liked to see him protect himself a bit more, but that’s what you’re going to get with Richardson. Michael Pittman played a fantastic game, which helped out the young quarterback. But running game was atrocious as they only picked up 2.5 yards per carry and Deon Jackson ran for 14 yards on 13 carries in his first game at RB1 in Jonathan Taylor’s absence. Nobody is going to win football games with a running game that poor.

The defense wasn’t great either as they got cut up all game long. They had one real good play, but it was on the wacky non-dead ball play that the Jaguars essentially gifted them. That side of the ball figures to continue its struggles as well.

But, it’s like I keep saying: the most important thing is Richardson’s development. I think there’s a lot of positives to take away from his performance on Sunday.

28 – Panthers (0-1)

I’m very disappointed in the Panthers. They truly have everything they need to be a solid team, but they looked completely discombobulated on Sunday.

I understand that there’s a lot of new pieces and moving parts on this offense and that the offensive line is still coming together, but man. That was really bad. I think if Bryce Young didn’t throw those interceptions, the Panthers could have had a real shot to win the game. Their defense balled out, only holding the Falcons to 221 yards of offense and completely shutting down the Falcons passing game — which is admittedly abhorrent. But when you’re -3 in the turnover battle, you’re simply not going to win games.

I’m expecting a lot more growing pains on both sides of the ball in Carolina.  

29 – Giants (0-1)

Good lord. I don’t even know what to say. I don’t even know if the Giants have deserved being talked about this week. I guess I’ll keep this brief.

That was simply one of the most embarrassing, lifeless performances I have ever seen in any sport at any level. And that’s coming from someone who saw the Giants come into my team’s building and beat us 40-0. At least we were in the middle of a lost season and starting Mark damn Sanchez.

New York has no excuses. They talked so much about how they deserve to be respected after last year’s complete fugazi season and how Daniel Jones is actually good and worth the money. All of that got completely and expeditiously flushed on Sunday night. Jones was the worst quarterback in football this week, the offensive line looked absolutely dreadful, the offense as a whole still lacked any semblance of a pulse, and the defense might as well have not shown up. 

It’s going to be a long, steep uphill climb to gaining anyone’s respect back. 

30 – Cardinals (0-1)

The Cardinals completely met my expectations on Sunday. The only area where they surprised me was their ability to wreak havoc in the backfield, as they racked up six sacks including a strip sack returned for a touchdown right before halftime. But I don’t know how much that means when you consider how awful the Commanders offensive line is.

Their own offense looked pretty terrible, but we all saw that coming. Josh Dobbs is good enough to keep this thing from going off the rails, but that unit isn’t going anywhere.

My biggest takeaway from Week 1 for the Cardinals is that my take that they’ll be competitive enough to not be the worst team in the league has been vindicated. Jonathan Gannon is building a team that isn’t going to go down easy. Whether thats via actually good defense or dirty play and headhunting remains to be seen.

31 – Texans (0-1)

The Texans looked about as awful as expected on Sunday. I considered putting them last, but at least they met expectations. Some teams are supposed to look competent and end up playing like the worst team in football.

Houston didn’t score a single touchdown on Sunday, being one of three teams to bear that shame. But at least they have the excuse of playing one of the best defenses in football. For what it’s worth, C.J. Stroud was actually the better quarterback in the game, at least statistically. He had more completions and yards than Lamar Jackson while having less turnovers. On top of that, nine different players recorded a catch — 10 if you include Stroud catching his first career completion off of a deflection.

The Texans defense really made Lamar struggle thanks to the performances of young guys like Will Anderson Jr and Christian Harris, who each notched a sack. That’s certainly a positive to take away from this game. They definitely have some burgeoning talent on both sides of the ball.

32 – Bears (0-1)

So much for the hype.

The Bears proved to all of us that they are still the sorry little franchise that they’ve been this whole time. No amount of preseason media narratives or splash acquisitions are going to change that. They were absolutely dreadful on both sides of the ball at home against a team with a bunch of moving parts without its WR1. There is zero excuse for that.

I am still not going to give up on Justin Fields, but man. We have to see it sooner or later. I don’t think Chicago’s struggles on Sunday were entirely his fault seeing as though he was running for his life for the entire game, but he certainly didn’t play well. And that figures to be a trend moving forward. It’s like a positive feedback loop — the offensive line will continue to get decimated meaning that Fields will continue to look bad, and the cycle isn’t stopping any time soon.

Someone please save him.

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All stats taken from ESPN.