Cover photo taken from USA Today.
1 – 
Eagles (6-1) 
2
For the second consecutive year, everything is coming up Eagles. Infuriating, isn’t it?
The greatness of this team cannot be denied. They just do everything so well. Like, annoyingly well. You can’t stop them, and they don’t hurt themselves. They don’t get penalties called on them. Whenever they have any mistakes, they instantly bounce back and score. They get some of the best players via trades and the draft for seemingly nothing. It’s nonsensical. But it’s the case once again this season, and although the Eagles still have to go through a gauntlet of teams, Lady Luck seems to be wearing Kelly and midnight green in 2023.
2 – 
Chiefs (6-1) 1
The more things change, the more they stay the same. After seven weeks of shuffling and false hype around the league, the two teams with the best records in the league and the 1 seeds in their respective conferences are the Eagles and Chiefs.
I wanted to put Kansas City at the top of this list, but I think the Birds deserved that spot after dismantling a Dolphins team that we’re pretty sure is great. But the Chiefs have a very good argument. They’re in rarified air, ranking in the top 10 in all three phases, joining an exclusive list featuring a plethora of Super Bowl winners. It’s still early, of course, but that’s a crystal clear sign that this team is not just elite, but well-rounded. Patrick Mahomes put together his best game of the year, Travis Kelce is back to his old ways, Rashee Rice is emerging as a WR1, and this defense just keeps on getting better.
I think the Chiefs are going to continue to improve as this season goes along. They’ve proven that, when they turn it up, they are simply unstoppable. Once again, the AFC is going through Arrowhead. As if there was any doubt.
3 – 
Ravens (5-2) 4
I am done doubting the Ravens. This team is absolutely incredible, and it’s honestly a wonder why I was ever so low on them in the first place. They did have some early season struggles, but now that they’re starting to figure out the offense, things are getting scary in the Charm City.
The defense has been elite all year long, but this all starts with Lamar Jackson, who might just be the league’s MVP through seven games. I’ve always loved Lamar, but I never could have seen this type of offensive explosion coming from him. Sunday’s performance against the Lions might’ve just been the piece de resistance of his young career, as he completely dominated a very good Detroit defense with his arm and his legs. Baltimore got absolutely everything they wanted all game long with a take-your-lunch-money type of game. It was not only stunning, but hypnotic. Todd Monken seems to have figured out how to make this offense go, and it is paying huge dividends.
Baltimore might be the NFL’s scariest team right now. They, like the Chiefs, seem to only be getting better as the weeks go by. If only they played each other this regular season. No worries, I can gladly wait till January to see it happen.
4 – 
49ers (5-2) 
3
I am officially concerned. For the second week in a row, the 49ers lost a game thanks to some struggles from Brock Purdy and an uncharacteristically lackluster defensive performance.
It’s one thing for these problems to arise against the NFL’s elite, like last week in Cleveland against the league’s best defense. It’s another thing for the defense to get completely gashed by a Vikings offense which has had its fair share of struggles on that side of the ball this season while getting no pressure and losing the turnover battle. All the while, Purdy was floating balls left and right, throwing two picks in the clutch. Even Christian McCaffrey fumbled in the redzone.
The offensive injuries are clearly having an effect on them. Without Deebo Samuel as a safety blanket or Trent Williams clearing paths in the run game, this team really doesn’t have an offensive identity. They need to get healthy at the earliest convenience.
This cannot become a trend for San Francisco. Otherwise, it’s seemingly inevitable that this season ends just like 2022 did.
5 – 
Jaguars (5-2) 1
The Jags just keep on winning. Again, they’re not doing anything mind-blowing, but it’s really hard not to like what they are doing.
Trevor Lawrence has continued to cut defenses into pieces, Travis Etienne has scored multiple touchdowns in three consecutive games and keeps on developing into one of the NFL’s best running backs, and although Calvin Ridley has remained quiet, Christian Kirk has seemingly re-emerged as the teams WR1.
The other side of the ball is also doing its thing, getting key stops and forcing timely turnovers game after game. When you combine that with what the offense is doing, you have a very effective winning formula. As such, the Jaguars are going to keep on winning games.
6 – 
Dolphins (5-2) 2
I warned you guys about the Dolphins being potential frauds last week, but I didn’t actually think that they were. I just thought the facts were compelling. I even picked them to go on the road and defeat the Eagles. But after perhaps their sorriest performance of the year, they might just be a fraudulent football team.
They’ve played five games against teams with a combined 8-25 record and looked incredible in each one. Their two games against teams above .500 with a combined record of 10-4? Two blowout losses by a combined score of 79-37.
I still really like the Dolphins. But this offense folds against any team that can actually stop them, which the Eagles did and then some. They have not played up to their opposition a single time through seven games. Just some food for thought.
7 – 
Cowboys (4-2) 2
The Cowboys had the week off before hosting the Rams on Sunday for a game which could feature a ton of offensive fireworks. More on that tomorrow.
8 – 
Browns (4-2) 2
It’s hard to say that the Browns didn’t deserve to win on Sunday as NFL games hardly boil down to one or two refereeing calls. But this is the second consecutive win for Cleveland that has seemingly been gifted to them down the stretch by some questionable flags.
Still, the Browns keep on riding their elite defense to wins, even when it gives up 38 points to Gardner Minshew and the Colts. The offense continues to look better without Deshaun Watson than with him, which is both hilarious and concerning at the same time. With his shoulder injury clearly being a bigger deal than the team was making it seem, I’m not sure how much more of him we’ll see in upcoming weeks. The running back room is also dealing with a plethora of injuries as Jerome Ford will miss the next 1-2 weeks. But, as long as the defense keeps doing its thing, the Browns should be just fine.
9 – 
Lions (5-2) 4
The Lions got as harsh of a reality check as the NFL possibly has to offer on Sunday in Baltimore. The threat of a loss was always in the air, but for them to be as noncompetitive and lifeless as they were was shocking. It was the worst performance Detroit has had in almost a year.
Luckily for them, I don’t think those are the real Lions. They just had a tough game. Sometimes that’ll happen in this league, especially without your RB1 who acts as the identity of your offense. I’m far more concerned with the defense, which might as well not have even been on the field. It’s very rare and very concerning to see a team get get dismantled the way they did.
I have faith in this team to bounce back, but they have a steep uphill climb to regain my respect.
10 – 
Bengals (3-3) 1
The Bengals had a seemingly much-needed bye week to get healthier, and now things are going to get very interesting in Cincinnati.
After a week of rest for Joe Burrow and Tee Higgins, the offense might just find its rhythm again. The defense is already hooping, so if the offense returns to form, then the Bengals should find themselves on the trajectory that I predicted for them a few weeks ago.
11 – 
Bills (4-3) 3
Congratulations to the Buffalo Bills, this week’s Team of Shame! There is no higher honor to receive after losing as 8.5-point favorites against a team that looked like perhaps the worst in the league with an ineffective offense and incompetent quarterback!
The Bills are in trouble. Their defensive injuries are catching up to them extremely fast, and their offense looks like a shell of itself. And I don’t know how much faith I have in them to turn this thing around. It has gone from bad to worse in Buffalo.
12 – 
Seahawks (4-2) 1
The Seahawks are still a bit inconsistent offensively, but their defense is continuing to hoop at a very high level. Devon Witherspoon is playing lights out and is on the fast track to winning this year’s Defensive Rookie of the Year award. The addition of Frank Clark will hopefully make up for the loss of Uchenna Nwosu.
Perhaps the most important development is that Jaxon Smith-Njigba is finally getting involved offensively. Once DK Metcalf comes back, we could see Seattle be as complete as they’ve been all season long, which means they’re going to continue winning a lot of football games. Considering how the 49ers have looked in the last two weeks, I wouldn’t count the Seahawks out of the race for the NFC West.
13 – 
Texans (3-3) 1
The Texans had the week off as they get ready to clash with the winless Panthers in the battle between 2023’s top two draft selections. And I can’t wait to see that quarterback battle — which we sadly never got in college — play out. I’ll dive deeper into that tomorrow.
14 – 
Steelers (4-2) 3
Matt Canada, I owe you an apology. I wasn’t familiar with your game.
Once again, the Steelers offense actually put together a good performance on offense thanks to some great work from their much-slandered offensive coordinator and improved play from Kenny Pickett. George Pickens continues to ball out on a weekly basis, and getting Diontae Johnson back immediately elevated this offense by giving Pickett his safety net in the receiving corps.
The defense is obviously still great, but they got away with a lot on Sunday. If Rams kicker Brett Maher had put every kick through the uprights, we would have gone to overtime at 24 apiece. Alas, the Steelers are now 4-2 against all odds and in the thick of the AFC North race with wins against Baltimore and Cleveland already this season. As is seemingly the case every year with Mike Tomlin at the helm, this team is not going away anytime soon.
15 – 
Rams (3-4) 3
Is a little consistency too much to ask for? I guess so. The Rams simply haven’t looked like the same team from week to week at all this season. Neither side of the ball can string together consecutive good performances.
This week, it was the defense — and special teams, for that matter — which let LA down as they were sliced and diced by a Steelers offense which has struggled to find itself for the majority of the year. Brett Maher missed seven points worth of kicks in a seven-point loss and was subsequently sent to the unemployment line. And while Puka Nacua was unstoppable, Cooper Kupp only had two catches all game. Now, Kyren Williams is likely headed for the IR, meaning the offense might have some more struggles in sight. With some great defenses ahead on the schedule, the Rams might be in a world of trouble.
16 – 
Vikings (3-4) 9
Well, well, well. The Vikings heard the noise.
For old time’s sake, I’ll say it. 11-0 in one-score games in 2022. Now 3-4 in such games in 2023. The fact that this team has played exclusively one-possession games is simultaneously ridiculous and incredibly on-brand. The good news is that, after starting 0-3, they’re 3-1 in these close games in the last month — including a 2-0 stretch thus far without Justin Jefferson — and just beat the former consensus best team in the NFL in a primetime setting.
Kirk Cousins silenced his haters and doubters with one of the best games of his career, Jordan Addison burst onto the scene with two long touchdowns, and T.J. Hockenson played perhaps his best game in a Vikings uniform. But, most importantly, the defense showed up and showed out, including two interceptions for Camryn Bynum. Brian Flores has his guys balling out, which has been the key for this team on this stretch of winning football. If they can keep it up against a lackluster stretch of upcoming opponents, the Vikings will somehow be right back in the thick of things in the NFC Wild Card race.
17 – 
Jets (3-3) 2
After the electric comeback win against the Eagles, the Jets had their bye week. I think that might just hurt the positive momentum that they took away from that game, but they’re still in a good position to keep the good times going.
Luckily for them, they could have another win coming up in the battle for New York on Sunday against the Giants.
18 – 
Chargers (2-4) 2
I really don’t feel like talking about the Chargers at this point. There’s really just nothing to talk about.
They’re incapable of winning meaningful games, Justin Herbert has looked like a shadow of himself after getting the bag, Quentin Johnston already looks like an all-time bust, and this defense is historically bad despite hundreds of millions of dollars being poured into it and having a defensive-minded head coach.
Absolutely nothing is going right here. I probably have the Chargers too high here. It’s not going to be shocking when they inevitably keep on falling.
19 – 
Colts (3-4) 5
Moving up five spots after losing is a bit unprecedented by my standards, but this feels deserved for a couple of reasons.
For starters, Gardner Minshew keeps on balling out whenever his number is called. I know I said I didn’t feel confident about him being the starter moving forward, but he just played an incredible game against the best defense in the NFL. That certainly helps build confidence. The rest of the offense keeps on getting huge contributions from guys like Josh Downs and Zack Moss in addition to the resident playmakers like Michael Pittman Jr. and Jonathan Taylor. And of course, the Colts really could have — and maybe should have — come away with a win on Sunday to improbably be above .500 if it wasn’t for some very questionable refereeing. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
The defense could still certainly use some work, but this team feels frisky and competitive enough to win some games as this season progresses. I don’t think they’ll be nearly as bad as I said. For that, they get a big time bump this week.
20 – 
Falcons (4-3) 2
The Falcons are officially the weirdest team in the league. I want them to go away so bad, but they just refuse to do so. Even in a game that they’re seemingly actively trying to lose with insane turnovers at the goal line or not giving Bijan Robinson a touch until the very last play of the game, they find a way to win. It’s ridiculous.
Let me be clear, I still don’t think this is a very good football team, and I still have less than zero faith in Arthur Smith as a head coach or Desmond Ridder as a quarterback. But a win is a win, and the Falcons should feel good to be back in the win column.
21 – 
Buccaneers (3-3) 2
Womp womp. I hope the Buccaneers enjoyed their month of relevance and people believing they’re a good team. That’s all over now. You can’t lose like that and get away with it.
This team has come off the bye and laid two complete duds at home when they could have established themselves the team in this division. Instead, they’re back to mediocrity, and while that’s certainly good enough to win the terrible NFC South, it’s not enough to still have my respect.
22 – 
Packers (2-4) 4
I was very close to making the Packers this week’s Team of Shame. That’s only natural after you lay yet another dud against a pretty bad team and your supposed franchise quarterback continues to single-handedly lose you games with terrible interceptions in the game’s most key moments.
Although this week’s honor went to the Bills, the Packers don’t deserve my time at this point. They have lost my respect entirely. I can’t believe how bad they’re making me look after singing their praises so much this offseason and early in the year. I’m just embarrassed.
23 – 
Saints (3-4) 3
In a shocking turn of events, the Saints are still not a good football team and Derek Carr is still not a winning quarterback. Who would have thought?
The defense once again got picked apart while Carr literally threw the game away and screamed at his teammates for his own mistakes (seriously, how weird is that?). Now, throw a Chris Olave arrest in the mix and you’ve got a team that’s simply crashing in 2023. What a shame.
24 – 
Titans (2-4) 2
The Titans used their bye week to figure out their quarterback situation, naming Will Levis as the starter for Sunday’s battle with the Falcons. I’m very interested to see what the rook can do in his debut against a strange, but challenging opponent.
25 – 
Patriots (2-5) 5
Macaroni is back!
Just kidding. Well, he’s probably not back back. But Mac Jones played his best game of the season — and maybe his best game since his rookie year — including tossing the game-winning touchdown with 12 seconds left to pull off one of the biggest upsets of the season, knocking off the Bills at home as 8.5-point dogs. That was a really cool sight.
I don’t know if this will somehow make the Patriots a competent football team again, but the upcoming schedule isn’t terribly tough. Maybe, just maybe, New England can start stacking some wins. It all starts with Mac, but if he plays like that every week, then this team has a shot.
26 – 
Broncos (2-5) 3
At this point, I don’t know how much can be garnered from beating Jordan Love and the Packers. But the Broncos looked good on Sunday, and that’s something I haven’t said much this season.
Russell Wilson played a solid game and the defense absolutely dominated to help Denver win its first game at home in the 2023 season. That’s gotta feel good.
What doesn’t feel good, however, is the Broncos upcoming schedule. They might not win again until December. Seriously, check it for yourself and tell me I’m wrong.
27 – 
Bears (2-5) 1
Good for the Bears. It’s always a good feeling to win football games in this league, especially when there’s feel-good stories involved like Tyson Bagent. The former Division II standout played a very solid game in his first game as a starting quarterback en route to the team’s dominant home win over the Raiders.
I don’t think he’s suddenly the guy in Chicago, and I certainly don’t feel good about the Bears as a whole still, but while Justin Fields remains on the mend, I’ll be rooting for the kid.
28 – 
Giants (2-5) 3
They called me a madman. But I know my team like no one else, and I can see losses like this from miles away.
The Giants are still a pretty bad football team, but in the last two weeks, they’ve looked far more competitive than they did in the previous five. That’s an extremely low bar, but it means something. It’s interesting how they look infinitely better with Tyrod Taylor at quarterback than they did with Daniel Jones, but we’ll save that conversation for later.
Here’s what’s important for the Giants: the defense looks like its 2022 self again, and the offense is looking better thanks to actually getting the weapons involved. That’s all they have to do to win, or at least be in football games. They have a very easy next two games, so I don’t see why they can’t keep riding that formula and pick up a few more wins.
29 – 
Commanders (3-4) 8
I don’t know how much longer I can do this guys.
I know I predicted a loss and am this fanbase’s resident pessimist, but this is just atrocious. Between the team’s play on the field and the incompetence in the building which has trickled down to the players (Jonathan Allen said it best), I’m struggling to find seasons where it has been harder to be a Washington football fan than 2023.
The real shot in the arm that I need is for the new ownership to clean house. But I still think it’s too early for that. Still, the clock is ticking, and it is ticking quite fast. I think change is coming much sooner than we anticipated. Can’t come soon enough.
30 – 
Raiders (3-4) 7
Blown out by Tyson Bagent. That has to be a new low.
31 – 
Cardinals (1-6) 4
The Cardinals have gone from being sneaky frisky to being actually frisky to being not so frisky anymore to being straight up bad. They were fun to watch for a bit when they had it in them to challenge their opposition, but they have lost the juice, and subsequently have become a terrible watch.
I think they’ll return to their early season form as they continue to get healthier, but until then, I have no interest in this team.
32 – 
Panthers (0-6) 
The Panthers remain the NFL’s lone winless squad thanks to their bye week. After taking a peek at the schedule, it’s hard to see when that first win will come for Carolina. They should get nice and comfy down here.
All stats taken from ESPN.
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