Tag: Week 2

Cover photo taken from Imagn Images.

1 – Packers (2-0) 2

This team is horrifying.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this Packers defense is the 2024 Eagles defense: rush four and get home effectively, allowing everyone else to keep their eyes on the ball because the opposing team can’t take the top off your defense. Teams have to fight for every single inch against this D, while the offense is clearly good enough to do the rest.

The addition of Micah Parsons has done exactly what we expected it to do. This team is completely galvanized by his presence, and you’d have to do a lot of convincing for me to knock them off this top spot right now.

2 – Bills (2-0) 1

Ho-hum, another easy win over a divisional opponent. The Bills defense took a huge step up against a Jets offense that went from electric to sputtering at best, and while Josh Allen didn’t light anything up, James Cook had an awesome game to prove his worth after getting that contract.

There’s really not much to say about Buffalo this week. This is how the rest of the season is going to look against their Charmin-soft schedule.

3 – Ravens (1-1) 1

Baltimore and Buffalo feel like they had identical performances after their electric showdown last week, bouncing back with massive wins over the bottom of their division.

But, unlike the Bills, the Ravens got a crazy good performance out of their star QB as Lamar Jackson tossed four touchdowns and took the NFL’s all-time lead in passer rating (not bad for a running back, eh?). What really stood out to me was how good DeAndre Hopkins and Tez Walker looked — if they can emerge as reliable targets on the outside, it’ll open things up so much for this passing game.

If you win a game by a larger margin than Derrick Henry’s rushing yardage total, you’re probably in a good spot.

4 – Chargers (2-0) 1

The Chargers feel like one of the NFL’s most balanced teams right now, doing great things on both sides of the ball. We can clearly see how good Justin Herbert is to start the season (early MVP candidate, perchance?) and their defense has been one of the best in football.

But, this running game is a major, major concern. LA is dead last in rush EPA/play through two weeks while their first-rounder Omarion Hampton has just 72 yards. It hasn’t bitten them yet because of how efficient their passing game is, but at some point, you’re going to need to tote the rock. I’ll choose to blame it on the offensive line still figuring itself out without Rashawn Slater, but I’d like to see them get it going.

5 – Eagles (2-0) 1

Meet the 2024 Chiefs’ long-lost twin. Defending champions that aren’t nearly impressive as they were in previous years that will win a number of games by the skin of their teeth for another dominant regular season on paper. We’ll see how it fares for them in January.

There’s still respect due in winning, as I’ve said previously with Kansas City. But this passing offense is absolutely stuck in neutral, Jalen Hurts still hasn’t thrown a touchdown, AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith have combined for 104 yards. 11.7% of their offensive snaps were tush pushes for crying out loud — and the sentiment around that play is finally turning into an overwhelmingly negative one, which could hopefully lead to some officiating changes this season. And I still have numerous questions about the secondary; plus, Jalen Carter looked awful in his return to play.

There’s some kinks to work out in Philadelphia, but they’re still going to keep winning. That’s just what they do.

6 – Rams (2-0) 3

This is a little higher than I want to put the Rams considering their two wins are against two winless teams, but they clearly deserve to be in the top-10. Matt Stafford has been really good through two games, Puka Nacua has been incredible, Davante Adams presence is felt in a big way and their run game has been surprisingly efficient.

The big story early on is how good this defense has been, but it appears that they haven’t played a competent offense yet. We’ll see how they fare against an Eagles unit that’s still figuring some stuff out.

7 – Lions (1-1) 3

Yeah, they’re fine. Turns out the Packers are just the ’85 Bears.

The Lions had a point to prove on Sunday. Not just after being smothered by Green Bay in Week 1 — they wanted to stick it to Ben Johnson. And boy, did they ever. And it was awesome!

Jared Goff was by far the best QB in football in Week 2, Amon-Ra St. Brown was unguardable, the offense looked like their 2024-selves and it rocked. The defense wasn’t amazing, but they don’t really need to be against a team as inept as the Bears.

They’ve got a real measuring stick game on Monday night in Baltimore. I’m fascinated to see how it plays out.

8 – Buccaneers (2-0)

The Buccaneers are 2-0, but could easily be 0-2. The difference? Baker freaking Mayfield.

The dude is just a stud. He’s a winner. Two game-winning drives in as many weeks against good defenses is remarkably impressive. It’s big time throw after big time run. It’s box office. He’s masking some real issues on that offensive line — which is continuing to take hits as more injuries rack up — and if the season ended today (thank God it doesn’t), he’d be my MVP.

The OL and secondary will be weaknesses for a while. But with Baker and the skill position players humming, they’ll still be able to win a good amount of games.

9 – Colts (2-0) 11

The story of the young 2025 NFL season? Indiana Jones.

Danny Dimes is having a Baker-esque resurgence in Indy, and it’s awesome to see. But more than that, this entire team seems to be rallying around the new life. Jonathan Taylor is running like he’s back at Wisconsin, Tyler Warren has emerged as a real impact rookie and this secondary has been lockdown. Just wait until their front seven gets healthy.

All of a sudden, the Colts are the favorites in the AFC South. What a time to be alive.

10 – Falcons (1-1) 4

It’s a new day in Atlanta: one where the Falcons actually have a defense. And it’s going to propel them this season.

The Falcons lead the league in defensive EPA/play and it’s in large part thanks to how impactful each of their rookies have been on that side of the ball. James Pearce Jr. and Jalon Walker each sacked JJ McCarthy on Sunday night while Xavier Watts and Billy Bowman both nabbed interceptions. I know it’s still early, but if I’m Terry Fontenot, I’d be posting receipts right now.

Michael Penix Jr. and the passing offense still have some figuring out to do, but Bijan Robinson is taking a massive load off his shoulders. He has probably been the best RB in the league through two weeks. And this schedule really ain’t crazy in the next few weeks. This squad could be in for a massive season if they continue on this trajectory.

11 – Broncos (1-1) 1

Though I picked the Broncos to lose on Sunday, I was impressed with them. They really only lost because of a bone-headed special teams error; despite a subpar game from their defense, Bo Nix bounced back with a fantastic performance to help restore the faith in Denver.

This team is going to be fine. They really just need consistency out of Nix and, apparently, some more level-headed coaching.

12 – Chiefs (0-2) 6

You hear that? Those are the panic alarm bells ringing.

I’ve played devil’s advocate with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs for years. I always defend them regardless of circumstance because of the precedent they’ve set. Despite the Rashee Rice suspension and Xavier Worthy injury, the leash feels shorter now. This is simply not the Chiefs team we’ve come to expect.

Travis Kelce drives me nuts. Mahomes can’t hit deep shots. The running game is awful outside of Patrick’s scrambles. The defense is fine, but not nearly elite — hell, it’s the third best in their own division, probably.

They could’ve won on Sunday. Maybe they should’ve. But they didn’t. It’s a regression to the mean. And that’s a concern.

13 – Commanders (1-1) 6

Not all losses are created equal. Thursday night was a shining example of that.

To be honest with you guys, I’ve already flushed that lifeless, listless performance out of my brain. A full weekend of football will help you do that. It’s the lasting effects of this game that have really bogged me down.

Austin Ekeler out for the season, removing a pivotal piece of this offense with no clear replacement (yes, Bill is good, but no one can do what Ekeler does). Deatrich Wise out for the season, leaving behind a massive hole in terms of size and impact off the edge after just two games in DC. Noah Brown and John Bates both dealing with groin injuries that can sideline them for a while, meaning this already stagnant offense is going to struggle even further to move the ball.

And then, the big one. After the worst game of his career, Jayden Daniels is dealing with a sprained knee that could sideline him for a game or two. I will say, that’s way better news than a place like Cincinnati is getting. But it’s still not great. I don’t blame him, I don’t blame the offensive line, I don’t even blame the institution of Thursday Night Football. It’s the nature of the sport. These things happen.

I just hope we err on the side of caution here. Despite not playing in camp or the preseason, Marcus Mariota is a great backup who’s more than capable of beating the Raiders. I know Jayden will hate to sit, but it’s Week 3. What bothers me is that this offense is going to continue to be stuck in neutral with him not practicing. The effects of Terry McLaurin’s absence in camp are clearly hindering this passing game and it drives me nuts. Things might get worse before they get better in DC.

Expectations suck, don’t they?

14 – 49ers (2-0) 5

I have no idea what to do with the 49ers right now. They’re 2-0 with two wins over teams that aren’t in my top-20, have injuries out the wazoo and haven’t looked super impressive. But, neither have many of the teams below them — even some other 2-0 squads!

So, I’m leaving them here while acknowledging that they could go in any number of directions while they get healthy. Because they’re the league’s biggest enigma right now, and I can’t be bothered to try and solve them.

15 – Vikings (1-1) 2

Can I put on my tinfoil hat for a second? Cool, thanks.

I don’t think JJ McCarthy is actually hurt. If you take out one admittedly great quarter in Week 1, he has been the worst quarterback in football. He looks lost, his processing is remarkably slow and he has little-to-no feel in the pocket. But, despite taking some big hits, he seemed like he wasn’t banged up at the end of the game — just upset about his performance.

So, where did this phantom ankle injury come from? No doubt that it could be legit, I just feel like we would’ve had some inclination of a tweak that’s going to sideline him for a month on a national broadcast. Maybe that’s just me.

In any case, it’s the Carson Wentz show in Minny for a month. That’s not very inspiring. But it’s a good opportunity for JJ to recalibrate while Carson tries to keep the ship afloat.

16 – Cowboys (1-1)

Good lord this defense is abysmal. The only team with a worse dropback EPA/play is the Dolphins. Not great company to keep.

Does it matter that the offense is humming right now? Absolutely. That’s a great sign — maybe one that we should’ve expected with Brian Schottenheimer at the helm and a healthy Dak Prescott. But, with the defense performing this poorly against anyone and everyone, I have serious doubts about how seriously we should be taking Dallas right now.

17 – Patriots (1-1) 7

The Pats are another team that I really don’t know where to place.

Was I impressed with their offense, particularly Drake Maye, on Sunday? Absolutely. But they were playing the Dolphins. So, I’m taking it with a grain of salt. I still think this secondary is Swiss cheese, though the defense has been stout against the run up front.

Consistency will be the key to success for New England. Right now, I don’t know if we’re going to see that. But, the upcoming schedule is pretty manageable, so if there was ever a time to get everything on the same page, it’s now.

18 – Texans (0-2) 3

I’m trying my best not to overreact here. The Texans could have been 2-0 at this point. But here we are, 0-2 after a heartbreaker at home on Monday night, staring up at the freaking Colts of all teams. Not great.

It’s the same issues, man. The offensive line is a joke. The running game isn’t good enough to offset the shortcomings in the passing game. CJ Stroud isn’t allowed the time to be his 2023-self, but he just doesn’t look like that version of himself in general. And while the defense is awesome, there’s not much they can do to overcome their offensive ineptitude.

This feels like last year’s Houston team all over again. But now, the division is catching up, and they’re not banking the wins early in the season like they did in 2024. And that’s going to be a problem when they’re scrapping for a playoff spot in three months.

19 – Cardinals (2-0) 2

Scraping your way to 2-0 with two close wins over the Saints and Panthers isn’t very inspiring. It’s not like the Cardinals have come out and dominated these games — I know they were in control against Carolina, but they damn near threw it away in the end, and that concerns me.

I like this team. I think they’re really talented, their defense has honestly been really good so far — not sure what that means against these opponents — and their offense is solid. I’m just not really impressed right now.

20 – Bengals (2-0) 9

It’s over.

For the third time in his six seasons as a pro, Joe Burrow’s season has ended short. I know this turf toe situation isn’t “season ending,” but you and I both know that it essentially is. If he returns by Christmas, what’s the point? Do we really think Jake Browning is going to keep this team in the playoff race?

It just drives me nuts. They don’t even try to improve the offensive line situation, and no matter how many times they try to make it work, it fails and fails and fails again. Burrow deserves better. And I don’t know if he’ll ever get it.

I’ve seen a number of Andrew Luck comparisons out there, and I’m horrified to say that they’re legit. I just hope Joe doesn’t go the Luck route. But, if he did, can you even blame him?

Oh, and they were extremely lucky to win on Sunday, anyways.

21 – Seahawks (1-1) 2

Hey, I guess the Seahawks aren’t that bad after all. Honestly, this game wasn’t very different than Week 1 for me — they still look pretty average on both sides of the ball, but their shorthanded secondary played much better against Pittsburgh, which gives me some more confidence about them.

If the strategy to win games is just to force feed Jaxon Smith-Njigba and let Kenneth Walker do the rest, it’s good enough for me.

22 – Steelers (1-1) 5

So, was the Steelers-Jets Week 1 just a total fugazi for both sides? Certainly seems like the case.

Aaron Rodgers looked like his Jets self rather than his Packers self like he did last week, the run game stunk, the defense continued to get gashed and that special teams error by Kaleb Johnson was inexcusable.

This just doesn’t feel like a very Steelers-like Steelers team. They’ve got some soul-searching to do while they try to figure out who they are.

23 – Raiders (1-1) 5

There’s the dark side of Geno Smith. I don’t know what the problem was on Monday night, but that was one of the worst games I’ve seen Geno play since his career resurgence. And I’m embarrassed as a guy who always advocates for him.

I think the bigger issue is the run game. Ashton Jeanty has been completely invisible through two games and isn’t displaying a modicum of effort in pass pro. It’s really concerning. I know this offensive line isn’t great, but he’s supposed to be that guy. And he just doesn’t look the part through two games.

I’ll shout out the run defense for being crazy good, though. The Patriots and Chargers have two of the worst run games in the league, but that’s been the Raiders’ strong suit early on. We’ll see if they can sustain it.

24 – Jaguars (1-1) 1

Should the Jaguars be 2-0 right now? Probably. Did they deserve to lose on Sunday? Honestly, yeah.

It’s not because of the decision to go for that fourth down at the end of the game. I completely agreed with that call and I don’t think Liam Coen should be catching the flak that he is right now. They should have converted that if Brian Thomas Jr. could catch. Or play football. Which he … just can’t right now.

BTJ is embarrassing himself on the field. He has a clear lack of effort with a glaring unwillingness to absorb contact or try to play receiver remotely effectively. Does he just hate Trevor Lawrence or something? It makes no sense. And if it continues, it will get ugly for him.

Oh, also, that DPI call on Travis Hunter that allowed the Bengals to continue their game-winning drive was a total joke. I feel bad for him.

25 – Giants (0-2) 5

I have no remote idea where Sunday’s offensive explosion came from, but I honestly loved it. It’s easy to root for anyone to do that against Dallas, so thanks, Giants.

Let the record show that I don’t expect this to continue at all. Russell Wilson turning the clock back for a game was cool and all, but that won’t happen against the Chiefs. Or most competent defenses.

And this defense still sucks. They are horrendous against the run and porous at best against the pass. I’m just giving them some respect for what we saw out of their offense, which will undoubtedly come crashing back down soon.

26 – Jets (0-2) 4

Ah, yes. The dreaded return to Earth. Welcome back, Jets! Hope you enjoyed the one game of false hope. I know I did.

27 – Bears (0-2) 1

Two-for-two on cathartic hate watches in 2025. I can always count on you to give me a dopamine hit, Chicago.

Caleb Williams was far from the No. 1 problem for the Bears on Sunday, but he sure as hell wasn’t good, either. The defense is getting ran through like your stomach after gas station sushi, Ben Johnson looks like he’s in way over his skis and they can’t run the ball worth a damn.

If this offense doesn’t look competent against Dallas on Sunday, we shall be declaring this season a lost cause in Chicago.

28 – Titans (0-2) 1

It seems like we’re going to see the epic highs and lows of Cam Ward every week of the season. Yes, he’s going to make plays that drop your jaw. Then he’s going to make plays that make you scream at the television the same way Will Levis did. At least that’s what I expected.

The Titans are good enough to give you a fight, but not good enough to win games right now. This is the worst offense in football with a defense that lacks any impact players, all while coaching continues to be a glaring weakness. It’s going to be a long season in Music City.

29 – Panthers (0-2) 2

I’m going to be honest with y’all. I just don’t feel like talking about this Panthers team.

This OL is embarrassing, Xavier Legette looks like a total bust and Bryce Young starts and ends games so poorly for some reason. Oh, and the defense still stinks. Yawn.

30 – Saints (0-2) 1

Impressive fight! That’s kind of what I expected. Still, it’s not enough.

But hey, Spencer Rattler isn’t that bad and Juwan Johnson is a fantasy beast. Three cheers for that!

31 – Browns (0-2) 3

Ah, there are the Browns we’re used to.

Maybe Sunday’s game was closer than the scoreboard would indicate, and they did a fantastic job of bottling up the run. But it doesn’t matter when your offense is this bad, particularly in the passing game. I do think Quinshon Judkins will give them a boost out of the backfield, but it won’t matter until one of the rookies takes over under center.

32 – Dolphins (0-2)

Yeah, that’s the last time I put my faith in this abomination of a team. Blow it up!

Cover photo taken from San Diego Union-Tribune.

1 – 49ers (2-0)

I don’t know how you’re supposed to stop this team. The Rams put together a masterful offensive gameplan and still essentially lost by multiple scores. Even with a lackluster Brock Purdy performance, the offense continues to hum their way to 30-point outings. Christian McCaffrey has scored in 11 straight games. Deebo Samuel is getting back involved in the run game.

Until I see them even remotely slow down, the 49ers are going to live in this #1 spot. Considering their upcoming schedule, they should get nice and cozy.

2 – Cowboys (2-0)

Once again, I seriously considered putting the Cowboys at the top of this list. Their defense is just so incredible, and Micah Parsons is on an unstoppable tear. The offense is thriving in every facet, which is something I wasn’t expecting against the caliber of defenses they’ve played. The Giants aren’t great, but to cut up the Jets the way they did was eye-opening.

History leads me to believe that the wheels are bound to come off, but this might just be the Cowboys. team to flip the script.

3 – Chiefs (1-1)

In the least shocking development ever, the Chiefs are totally fine! That tends to happen when you get Travis Kelce and Chris Jones back. They both made their usual impacts in their season debuts, just as I predicted.

Oh, and Kansas City’s next six games are against teams with a combined 1-11 record. Hope you didn’t make the mistake of writing these guys off.

4 – Eagles (2-0)

While Philly continues to dazzle offensively — despite some strange playcalling — and dominate up front, their secondary is a real concern. If it wasn’t for a flurry of turnovers — including some lucky ones — there’s a real chance that they could have lost to the Vikings on Thursday. I suppose you could make the argument that they’ve given up a ton of garbage time yards in the last two games, which is fair.

We’ll see how the pass defense looks when the going gets tough.

5 – Dolphins (2-0)

At this point, 5 feels too low for the Dolphins. They have arguably been the most impressive team in the league through two games.

Their defense still concerns me a bit, but they played much better than I expected them to on Sunday night. Again, it might not even matter when their offense is as insane as it is. Mike McDaniel’s schemes combined with the execution of Tua Tagovailoa has this offense looking like the single best in the league, and I don’t know how anyone is supposed to stop them. I thought the Patriots had a shot, but they weren’t even close. While there are some tough defenses ahead on paper, I’ve seen nothing to make me believe that this offense won’t stop decimating opponents while the team keeps racking up wins.

By all accounts, the AFC East — and maybe even the 1 seed — is theirs to lose. 

6 – Ravens (2-0) 4

I’ll never know how they do it. Year in, year out, the Ravens rack up injuries like no other team and still find ways to win.

I have to give a ton of props to Lamar Jackson, who was infinitely better against the Bengals than he was against the Texans. He looked like his usual self, which involved some incredible throws. Zay Flowers is already proving himself as the WR1 in that offense, and the running game didn’t fall off at all despite the absence of J.K. Dobbins. The defense also continues to look like one of the scariest in the NFL, and although I recognize that they’ve played Houston and a Cincinnati offense with Joe Burrow on one leg, I have no doubts that they’ll continue to play at an elite level.

As the only 2-0 team in a division with three other teams with plenty of questions to answer, Baltimore figures to get out ahead of the pack in the coming weeks. 

7 – Bills (1-1) 6

The Bills are the beneficiary of a lot of teams that were above them last week turning into pumpkins this week. They completely met my expectations as they predictably tore apart a Raiders team that somehow looks worse than I anticipated. But I’ll give credit where credit is due — Josh Allen had one of his patented elite September performances, and the defense looked amazing.

Still, I will always proceed with caution with this team. I’m going to have to actually see it against real teams to believe it. 

8 – Jaguars (1-1) 2

I didn’t want to give the Jaguars the benefit of the doubt, but I’m going to… for now.

They looked absolutely lost on offense, but they were also playing an elite defense that just got its best player back. The defense gave up a ton of yards, but they did force timely turnovers to keep them in the game. There’s just nothing you can do when your star quarterback goes 0-for-7 in the redzone and your offense doesn’t get in the endzone. Week 1 was an indicator of what this offense can be at its peak, Week 2 was proof that maybe they’re not ready for primetime yet.

But they have plenty of time to prove me wrong. 

9 – Seahawks (1-1) 6

The Seahawks seemed to return to form in a wild way on Sunday, excelling offensively and making the necessary defensive plays to come away with a win. It was very reminiscent of what we saw for so much of last season. And when they play like that, they will be very difficult to beat. That combined with the apparent fact that their Week 1 loss doesn’t look as bad as it did in the moment makes me feel comfortable inserting them into the top 10.

As long as they stay healthy, they will continue to rack up wins against a pretty soft upcoming schedule. 

10 – Falcons (2-0) 7

The Falcons in the top 10. Something I never thought I’d do. But they have earned it, and they have really, really impressed me.

Sunday’s comeback win was a truly inspiring one as the defense played incredibly down the stretch and the offense found ways to win. Bijan Robinson is already one of the best running backs in football, and Drake London is really starting to emerge as a true WR1. I still have my reservations about Desmond Ridder, and I have no idea what this team is doing with Kyle Pitts, who has eight targets in two games. But I love Robinson and London, I love their defense, I love their culture, and I think they are getting ready to make some real noise. 

11 – Packers (1-1) 4

The Packers played a very strange game on Sunday. For three quarters, they were absolutely lights out. Jordan Love was tearing it up once again and the offense was churning out yards and points despite not having Aaron Jones or Christian Watson.

Then, all of a sudden, they just stopped. They straight up stopped playing offense. Up 11 in the fourth quarter, they refused to move the chains, and the wheels eventually fell off the defense, which makes sense considering they kept on being put back on the field.

I think it was a strange ending to an otherwise impressive performance, and one that shouldn’t repeat itself any time soon, especially with the two key offensive pieces returning. But it was definitely concerning. 

12 – Lions (1-1) 4

I don’t want to say the Lions got too ahead of themselves, but it appears that might’ve been the case considering how they played on Sunday.

It wasn’t a bad performance by any means, but it was definitely a lackluster considering how they looked in Week 1 and all of last season at home. Jared Goff finally ended his crystal clean play with a backbreaking pick six, Jahmyr Gibbs couldn’t quite get going, and David Montgomery got injured. The defense seemed to return to 2022 form as well as they got carved up by the same team that dropped 48 on them last season.

These are the reasons I told you all to err on the side of caution with the Lions. I need to see them churn out great performances more consistently. So far in 2023, I’m not seeing much of that. 

13 – Commanders (2-0) 7

I don’t even know where to begin.

2-0 for the first time since I was 10 years old. Sam Howell is 3-0 as a starter and just played a game I never thought I’d see out of him. Terry McLaurin is top 10. Both Brian Robinson and Antonio Gibson looked amazing. Eric Bieniemy might just be a godsend. Chase Young is back. The defense — which leads the league in sacks and pressures — was absolutely incredible (other than an abysmal start and a wonky ending, of course).

This team has never given me so much of a reason to be excited. Not for several years, at least. I’m still not going to get my hopes up for the sake of my own sanity and emotional well-being, but I’ll be damned. I’m this close to doing it. 

14 – Buccaneers (2-0) 7

It may have been against two 0-2 teams, but Baker Mayfield and this Bucs offense are cooking. I see a regression in their future, but for now, I’m going to give them props.

Baker has looked excellent through two games, which makes it hard to believe the offseason quarterback “competition” was remotely close. Him and Mike Evans already have an incredible rapport. The offensive line is looking better, and Rachaad White actually had a nice outing.

But again, the defense continues to stand out to me. While the Bears are pretty abysmal, the Vikings are clearly no pushover on offense, which makes that performance even more impressive.

Again, I don’t know how long Tampa can keep this up, and this division might be better than we gave them credit for. But I really like what they have going on right now. 

15 – Titans (1-1) 10

This is a huge jump, but more than anything, it’s an apology. I was far too harsh to this team last week for no reason. This is me making amends.

Their wild comeback to beat the Chargers was a classic Titans win. It wasn’t pretty by any means, but they just found a way to win. I understand things might have gone differently if Austin Ekeler had played for LA, but I’m not going to knock Tennessee because of that. I was impressed with what they did on Sunday, and while I still don’t really believe on them, it’s a good sign that they’re still going to fight tooth and nail week in and week out. That will translate to plenty of wins. 

16 – Chargers (0-2) 7

It’s only Week 3, and the Chargers’ season is already on the line. Thanks to two brutal fourth quarters, this team is 0-2, and now every single game is a must-win for them. It’s a bit hard to put any faith in this team in a must-win scenario. But they could easily be 2-0. With Austin Ekeler back in the lineup, you’d have to think they find a way to win a game.

But that’s not what this franchise does. They find ways to lose games instead. And one more essentially ends their year. 

17 – Bengals (0-2) 6

Speaking of teams who are one loss away from their season being cooked, the Bengals are staring down a very long, treacherous barrel right now. And realistically, they have no one to blame but themselves.

I don’t necessarily think Joe Burrow was rushed back from his calf strain, but he definitely returned a bit too soon, as he has been completely ineffective through two games and is now looking at missing time after re-aggravating it on Sunday. Cincinnati doesn’t exactly have many breaks in their schedule that allows that to be easy. It certainly doesn’t help that the defense isn’t playing nearly as well as expected.

This team is just so disappointing and lackluster on both sides of the ball right now. In the last four seasons, they’re the only team to make the postseason after starting 0-2, which they did last year. With Burrow either active and a shell of himself or not active at all, the Bengals are going to have another steep uphill climb to the playoffs.

18 – Rams (1-1) 4

I still think I’m being pretty mean to the Rams. They’ve surprised me more than any other team through two games.

They’ve been very good offensively thanks to the incredible emergence of Puka Nacua and Kyren Williams, and Matt Stafford continues to make me look foolish. Perhaps the most shocking thing about this team is that their defense is actually solid as well. I think the Rams have what it takes to be a very good, competitive team. I’m not going to rush to call them a top 10 squad like some people in the media are, but they certainly don’t appear to be nearly as bad as I anticipated. Their two performances so far this season give me reason to believe they can float around .500. 

19 – Saints (2-0) 4

I’m being cautiously optimistic with the Saints, but I must say that I like what I’ve seen through two games. They haven’t been the prettiest wins, but they’ve been solid ones.

I still think Derek Carr is simply not a good player, but he doesn’t have to be for this offense to succeed. They just need to go on a few scoring drives here and there while their defense does the rest. That side of the ball has been fantastic so far this year thanks to their ageless wonders up front and their continued elite secondary play led by Marshon Lattimore.

The Saints clearly have their winning formula. It’s just a matter of sticking to it. 

20 – Steelers (1-1) 1

Pittsburgh’s defense, which won them the game on Monday night, needs no introduction. I could talk about T.J. Watt and Alex Highsmith all day, but that’s not how I want to spend this time.

I instead want to continue to implore the Steelers to fire Matt Canada and figure out what the hell they’re doing on offense. Because I don’t know if I can stomach any more of the nonsense they are putting on the field. Not only is it impossible to watch, but it’s honestly embarrassing. And I’m a lifelong Steelers hater. I can’t imagine what it’s like being a fan of a team with this offense. George Pickens and Jaylen Warren are great players, but Najee Harris looks worse by the week, and the scheme shows us nothing to like with Kenny Pickett. The pieces are clearly there, but this offense is going nowhere fast as it stands. That means the team is likely going nowhere either.

The Steelers are lucky that their defense is as amazing as it is. Teams don’t put up -7 total yards of offense in a fourth quarter and still pull off a comeback victory very often. 

21 – Browns (1-1) 5

Congratulations, Browns! You are the Week 2 Team of Shame! It was going to be the Cardinals, but you swooped in and stole it at the last moment! Hope you enjoy all these years of paying Deshaun Watson hundreds of millions to look like one of the worst starting quarterbacks in the NFL! 

*note: I want to mention that Nick Chubb’s injury was horrible and I feel absolutely terrible for him and the Browns fanbase. Nobody deserves that, least of all a guy as elite and likable as Chubb. I don’t know what a recovery timetable looks like for him, but I’m praying for him and always rooting for him.

22 – Vikings (0-2)

For as long as it continues to apply, I’m going to keep saying it: regression to the mean. 11-0 in one-score games in 2022. 0-2 in such contests in 2023. That’s really all that needs to be said.

The Vikings realistically could have won on Thursday if it wasn’t for a wave of wonky turnovers, but part of that is on them. This is a team that’s going to put up big numbers and feel like they should be far better than they actually are, but that’s not going to translate to a lot of wins. They have to be more focused on not beating themselves than beating the other team. Doesn’t seem like a recipe for success.

One more loss and the season is effectively over in Minnesota. Luckily for them, they have their AFC mirror image coming to town for what should be an absolutely hilarious matchup on Sunday. I can’t wait to see it. 

23 – Patriots (0-2) 5

The Patriots are 2-0 in the moral victories department. Maybe they can replace their dynasty of Super Bowls with one of moral victories.

Maybe if they didn’t get off to such awful starts, they’d be able to rack up some actual wins. But they’ve faced 16 and 14-point deficits to start each game this season. When your offense operates like it does under Mac Jones, you’re not going to win games falling behind like that. I don’t know why it takes this defense so long to adjust, but once they do, they actually play great football. It’s just strange that it takes them so long. It doesn’t help when the offense is as turnover happy as it has been, especially early in games to put themselves in such holes.

These all feel like things that could improve and/or balance themselves out as the season progresses. But as it stands, the Patriots are in trouble. The time to figure this out is running out quickly.

24 – Jets (1-1) 12

The Jets are back to being the Jets. I wasn’t expecting it to happen so early in the year, but here we are.

I’ll keep this brief so I don’t sound like a broken record. Zach Wilson is the worst quarterback in the NFL. Starter, backup, practice squad, it doesn’t matter. He is not an NFL player. I don’t understand this team’s commitment to remaining steadfastly at his side and insisting that he’s “their guy.” He’s no one’s guy. He’s an abhorrent football player. The sooner this team makes a move for a veteran quarterback to right the ship, the better.

But you just get the feeling that’s not going to happen. Who knows, maybe I’ll have to throw the Jets in the Caleb Williams Sweepstakes. Imagine telling that to someone three weeks ago.

25 – Giants (1-1) 4

You are so lucky. So, so lucky.

I was so ready to tear into the Giants this week, but I’ll give credit where credit is due. Pulling off the biggest comeback in franchise history on the road with a nearly flawless half of football is no easy task, even if it was against one of the worst teams in the league. That’s a win that this team needed desperately after starting their season in a 60-0 scoring hole, which grows to 98-7 dating back to last season’s playoffs. Brian Daboll clearly worked some magic at halftime for the Giants to come out firing on all cylinders thanks to Daniel Jones playing the best half of his career.

Still, I don’t remotely buy this team. Saquon Barkley being out for a few weeks with an ankle sprain is going to expose a lot of problems with this offense, even if Jalin Hyatt looked really nice on Sunday. This defense is just terrible, and with San Francisco coming up, it could be another ugly outing on national television for the team that everyone implored me was better than the Commanders. 

26 – Raiders (1-1) 2

The Raiders are who we thought they were. They might actually be worse.

I’m mainly concerned with how unfathomably terrible their run game has been. How do you have the third worst rushing offense in the league with the defending rushing champ in the backfield? It certainly doesn’t help that you have a pumpkin at QB and both of your top two WRs have gotten knocked out of back-to-back games. I wish I could say that I still like this defense, but Sunday was a clear return to form for them.

I think we’re going to see a lot more Raiders performances like that than the one we saw in Denver to open the year. 

27 – Broncos (0-2) 1

The Sean Payton era is off to a rocking start as the Broncos have lost back-to-back games at home with a loss to a bad Raiders team and a blown 18-point lead second-half embarrassment at the hands of the Commanders. Who could have seen this coming?

I guess the sky isn’t completely falling in Denver, considering how well Russell Wilson has been playing, at least on paper. But I can’t make heads or tails of this team. I never can. I mainly can’t wrap my head around this defense, which got absolutely torched on Sunday.

But it doesn’t matter. Like I said last week, these are the same old Broncos. They may be finding new ways to do it, but you can keep on counting on them to lose.

28 – Colts (1-1) 1

The good news is that Anthony Richardson seems to be pretty good at football. The bad news is that Anthony Richardson is hurt.

I hope he doesn’t miss too much time, if any at all, because he has been shockingly fun to watch. The offense didn’t seem to miss a beat in his absence, but they were also playing the Texans, so I’ll take that with a grain of salt.

With or without Richardson, this isn’t a great team, but at the very least, they’re fun. And who doesn’t love a fun bad team?

29 – Panthers (0-2) 1

The Panthers could feasibly be lower on this list. This season is off to the worst possible start for them, and it doesn’t look like it’s getting better any time soon.

The offense is a complete dumpster fire with Bryce Young showing us barely anything to like through two games. The skill position additions are largely nonexistent, either due to a lack of talent or a head-scratching scheme. Yes, the defense offers lots to like, but they have folded at the biggest moments in each game thus far. And they’re not a good enough unit to make up for the offensive shortcomings.

Buckle up, Carolina. It’s going to be a long year. 

30 – Cardinals (0-2)

The Cardinals were going to be this week’s Team of Shame before the Browns stole that mantle at the buzzer. But that doesn’t mean this team is excused from being torn apart.

Blowing a 21-point second half lead is simply inexcusable at any level of football. It’s even worse when you do it to a team as bad as the Giants on your home turf. I was still impressed with their ability to build such a big lead, and I still think this is a competitive team that isn’t as bad as they seem, but it’s losses like that which prove to everyone that you’re not worth taking seriously.

But we all know the truth: Arizona definitely views losses as wins at this point. 

31 – Texans (0-2)

You know, at least C.J. Stroud and Nico Collins lit up the box score. Other than that, I have nothing remotely positive to say about the Texans. They should probably be at the bottom of this list. Regardless, they won’t move from this basement any time soon. 

32 – Bears (0-2)

I’m running out of things to say. I just don’t get it anymore. It truly pains me to say it, but I don’t know how much more of Justin Fields we’re going to see before it becomes apparent that he simply isn’t an NFL QB. That’s truly heartbreaking for me, but it’s just the truth. I can’t even blame this on the team around him. For at least this week, this is on him.

And he needs to turn it around. Fast. 

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All stats taken from ESPN.