Author: Raza Umerani

Cover photo taken from AP Photo.

1 – Buccaneers (5-1) 1

No matter how many players get added to the injury report, Baker Mayfield continues to do Baker Mayfield things. He’s the MVP of the league right now, and it might not be close.

Oh, and this has been the tough part of their schedule, too. We’re looking at the clear-cut frontrunner for the 1-seed in the NFC.

2 – Colts (5-1)

I’ll be honest, I didn’t really want to keep the Colts this high, but I just don’t know what to do with them. But, they keep winning, and that offense keeps looking good doing it.

Let’s just keep things under control during pregame warmups moving forward, yeah?

3 – Lions (4-2) 2

It was strange seeing the Lions — usually the bullies, not the bullied — get handled the way they did in Kansas City.

But, for one, the Chiefs are pretty dang good and catching their stride. And secondly, we’re a pre-snap penalty and an uncharacteristic Amon-Ra St. Brown drop away from a potentially different story here. This team is still elite, and they’re going to be fine.

4 – Rams (4-2) 3

I feel like I learned nothing about the Rams on Sunday.

The defense is fine, sure, but they played one of the league’s most anemic offenses. The offense sputtered, but that’s to be expected when their most impactful position player leaves with an injury. I hope Puka Nacua is okay and heals fast, because this team needs him badly.

I think the trip to London to take on the Jags will reveal infinitely more than whatever the hell transpired in Baltimore.

5 – Seahawks (4-2) 4

A little high for Seattle? Maybe. But considering how wonky the landscape of the league is right now, I don’t mind putting them this high. Not when they’re clicking like they have been.

I hate playing the ifs-ands-buts-or-maybes game, but we’re two last-second scores away from the Seahawks being 6-0 with one of the league’s most balanced squads spearheaded by the OPOY frontrunner. Jaxon Smith-Njigba has been the best receiver in football, Sam Darnold is still wildly efficient and this defense had a nice bounce-back performance. They should parlay that into some more solid performances against a stingy part of their schedule.

6 – Bills (4-2) 2

I’m officially concerned.

Josh Allen does not look like himself right now. The team continues to ignore James Cook. The lack of true receiving threats is becoming obvious. And the defense is… just bad, I guess?

Is that what the Bills are when they’re playing competent football teams? I think that remains to be seen. They’ve earned the benefit of the doubt. But they better hope they get this thing back on track after the bye. I think that’s coming at a pretty good time for them.

7 – Packers (3-1-1) 2

Green Bay is another team that I feel like I learned nothing about this week. They’re just so… “meh” right now.

I suppose my two biggest takeaways are that Josh Jacobs has been awesome and this defense still feels off. I expect one of those to continue, but if the latter doesn’t change as the schedule ramps up, the Packers will inevitably drop some games.

8 – Chiefs (3-3) 5

The living embodiment of the “masculine urge to say ‘we’re so back’ after saying ‘it’s over'” meme.

But, the Chiefs do feel back. Patrick Mahomes is the odds-on favorite to win the MVP right now, and it’s easy to see why. Rashee Rice returns from his suspension this week. The defense played inspired after the disaster to end the Jaguars game.

Everything just feels like it’s clicking in Kansas City. The league should be terrified.

9 – Patriots (4-2) 5

Regardless of the level of competition, the Patriots deserve our respect. They’re playing pretty damn well on both sides of the ball, and Drake Maye has been one of the five or six best quarterbacks in football in 2025.

And, honestly, that’s going to continue to be the case in New England. This is the easiest schedule in football, so I feel like there’s only so much we’re going to be able to say about the Pats moving forward. I guess the only question is: how successful can they be?

10 – Steelers (4-1) 6

Like the Patriots, the Steelers are a team I’ve held off on going crazy over because I just feel so indifferent about them. But, being 4-1 and clearly finding a rhythm goes a long way. I gotta tip my cap to Mike Tomlin and Aaron Rodgers. This is your AFC North frontrunner.

It obviously doesn’t take much to stifle the Browns offense, but this defense has vastly improved since the opening weeks of the season, and so has the rushing offense. I feel like that’s what has made the difference for this squad. As long as they keep stacking wins against their easier opponents, they’re going to win this division.

11 – Falcons (3-2) 9

I said last week that I was fascinated to see what version of the Falcons we got on MNF. And boy, did we get their best. That is how dangerous this Atlanta team can be.

Michael Penix Jr. was accurate, efficient and on time. Drake London was unguardable. And Bijan Robinson is simply the deadliest weapon in the NFL right now. Not to mention, this defense responded to a so-so outing against Washington with a wildly dominant performance against Josh Allen of all people.

This is a playoff team if they can keep this level of play up. I worry about their ability to do that, but I’m rooting for them. Because this is a damn fun group.

12 – 49ers (4-2) 6

We’re reaching a point where these injuries are going to make winning unsustainable in the long-term. They can win games like they have every now and then, but I have serious doubts about this being a playoff team with no Fred Warner or Nick Bosa on defense.

I want to believe that Kyle Shanahan can keep up the magic act and get this team in a competitive spot down the stretch. But I just don’t see that happening with the current state of the roster.

13 – Commanders (3-3) 3

I don’t know man. I just don’t know. That was about as unfathomable and as big of a gut-punch of a loss that I’ve seen. I feel like I could write a dissertation about it, but I won’t. Because I don’t want to. I want to flush it out of my memory forever. But there are a couple things that need mentioning.

First and most obvious is that you can’t have a laundry list of screw-ups and expect to win an NFL game. The fact that they were in a position to win despite two first-quarter turnovers, a missed field goal, a number of penalties, no real run game and a defense that couldn’t stop a stationary vehicle is a testament to Jayden Daniels. After his uncharacteristic redzone interception, he was close to flawless. Until he wasn’t. And that fumble on what would’ve essentially been the game-clinching play is by far the biggest mistake of his young career.

But the defense didn’t have to make it easy for the Bears to then win the game. This unit is a disgrace. They haven’t forced a turnover in four of the six games and couldn’t even force a three-and-out on Monday night. Against an offense that had some serious struggles coming into the game, albeit off a bye. The holes that D’Andre Swift was running through could clear up DC’s traffic in an instant. And the zones in the secondary continue to be Charmin soft.

My main takeaway from MNF is that this team in its current state isn’t good enough to win when Jayden isn’t Superman. He’s human. He’s going to make mistakes. And the team around him isn’t good enough to overcome them when they happen.

14 – Jaguars (4-2) 6

Wait, this offense sucks again. What the heck happened?

I have no idea why this team can no longer run the ball, but it’s clear that unless the defense steps up to flip the game, Trevor Lawrence can’t do it on his own. He has been solid this year, but they need that balance to be successful. And it doesn’t help when the defense doesn’t get a takeaway.

Maybe Seattle was a bad matchup. Maybe this was just a bad game. Jacksonville should hope it doesn’t become a trend.

15 – Broncos (4-2) 4

Good lord this team is a dreadful watch. If this defense wasn’t so good, I don’t know what Denver would look like.

When the Broncos can’t establish a run game like they couldn’t on Sunday morning, we see just how limited — and sometimes straight up bad — Bo Nix is. And that’s a problem. I don’t know that I can classify this as a sophomore slump because I wasn’t particularly impressed with Nix last year. But he has not been able to elevate this team in any way shape or form. They just have to pray the defense dominates and the offense keeps up. That doesn’t feel like a winning formula. But at least the AFC is weak enough for it to work.

16 – Eagles (4-2) 4

Looks like I’ve been vindicated on my Eagles ranking from last week. Because it sure as hell feels like it’s all coming apart in Philadelphia.

I know we go through this song and dance every year, but like 2023, this one feels like it’s not as easy a fix as “locking in” like it was last season. Kevin Patullo’s offensive scheme is a disaster, Jalen Hurts isn’t good enough to overcome the lack of a run game, the wide receivers are in shambles and this secondary straight up stinks. Those unsustainable September winning ways have turned into abysmal October performances. And the schedule ain’t getting easier.

The Giants were supposed to be the get-right game. It might’ve been the exposé instead.

17 – Chargers (4-2) 2

I give a ton of credit to the Chargers for finding a way to win on Sunday in Miami. Those types of heroics from Justin Herbert are exactly what this team needed as they continue to deal with injuries galore.

But I still have pretty mixed feelings about this team. I don’t like how this defense is playing and the run game is a huge problem. But, Herbert can put on the cape if necessary. And, against the bad teams on the schedule, that’s enough.

18 – Vikings (3-2) 1

So, is JJ McCarthy coming back this week or not? Either way, I need a Brian Flores masterclass against a struggling Eagles offense. Do me a solid, Minnesota.

19 – Texans (2-3)

Like Atlanta last week, I’m fascinated to see what version of the Texans we get on Monday night. I hope it’s one that I enjoy watching — and one with an offense that looks like it did the last two times we saw them rather than the three previous times.

20 – Bears (3-2) 1

Good for y’all. You ran the ball and stopped the run way better than I expected. And you took advantage of our mistakes.

The narrative very well could’ve been different if not for a cataclysmic mistake by Jayden Daniels. But it’s not. And I have to live with that now.

21 – Panthers (3-3) 3

Are the Panthers frisky? Or just sneaky good? I genuinely have no clue.

But, Bryce Young is finding a groove. Rico Dowdle has turned into Ladanian Tomlinson for some reason. And Tetairoa McMillan is finally catching touchdowns. The defense is still bad, but they were shockingly excellent against Dallas’ great rushing attack.

Maybe, just maybe, the Panthers are turning a corner. But I won’t count those chickens before they hatch.

22 – Cowboys (2-3-1) 4

This defense, man. They are a historically hilarious handicap. I feel like I’m watching the 2020 Cowboys all over again.

There’s not much that can be said about Dallas that isn’t painfully obvious. Dak Prescott is amazing, George Pickens is perfect for this offense, Jake Ferguson has arguably been the best tight end in football and none of it matters because the defense is the worst in the league by lightyears. I don’t care that Javonte Williams was neutralized; that’s a game you can’t lose to stay afloat in the playoff race. But, here we are.

23 – Giants (2-4) 5

Jaxson Dart and Cam Skattebo are changing the culture in New York. They also might be saving the jobs of Brian Daboll and Joe Schoen. Good for them.

Maybe the Giants can sustain winning with this level of play on both sides of the ball. But, we’re also just a week or so removed from the Saints game. So I won’t jump to any conclusions just yet. But, Thursday night was awesome, and that’s all that matters for now.

24 – Ravens (1-5) 2

Good news: the defense didn’t give up a million points and Lamar Jackson should be back on the other side of the bye.

Bad news: the defense still sucks, you scored three whole points, Derrick Henry couldn’t get in on the goal line and you’re 3.5 games behind the Steelers. Woof.

25 – Cardinals (2-4) 2

Credit to the shorthanded Cards for hanging in with the Colts. Jacoby Brissett was airing that thing out all day long, and it damn near led to an upset win. It’s just not enough.

I really don’t think the Cardinals are this bad. Unlucky, sure. But four losses in a row are hard to overcome. I still think they can turn it around, but it’s going to need to be drastic and fast.

26 – Dolphins (1-5) 1

Nothing on the field is worth talking about in Miami. So I’ll take this time to ask Tua Tagovailoa what the hell he’s talking about.

If this team has leadership issues, that starts with you bro. You’re the damn quarterback! And you just threw three picks! Take some accountability and stop throwing your teammates under the bus. This is the reason why no one in that locker room likes you.

27 – Saints (1-5)

Another week where we say, “wow, Spencer Rattler is actually solid” and it doesn’t matter because the rest of the team ain’t very good.

This Saints team will continue to be competitive, but will also continue to lose. They’re just not a good squad.

28 – Bengals (2-4) 2

Joe Flacco being inserted at quarterback had exactly the effect we expected it to: Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins saw the ball a ton, and it doesn’t really mean anything. The rest of this team is in such squalor that I don’t know how they beat anyone with a pulse.

29 – Browns (1-5) 3

Speaking of not having a pulse, I feel like it’s only a matter of time before we see Sheduer Sanders — no pun intended.

Dillon Gabriel is fine and all, but there’s nothing there. Might as well give Mr. Perfect Timing a shot.

30 – Raiders (2-4) 1

Oh look, a win! Cherish that one, Raiders. There aren’t any more Titans left on the schedule.

31 – Titans (1-5) 2

Thank you for firing Brian Callahan. What comes next? Who knows. But I still think the Titans have the right GM and QB, despite Cam Ward’s abysmal game on Sunday.

32 – Jets (0-6)

You should take some notes from Tennessee. Nip this Aaron Glenn experiment in the bud, move on from Justin Fields and see what your new GM can cook up during this upcoming offseason. Because it is over over in New York.

Cover photo taken from Imagn Images.

1 – Bills (4-0)

Simply the NFL’s most well-oiled machine.

They can sleepwalk to any win against an inferior opponent. And while they’re going to get a test from the Patriots on Sunday, it’s hard to see the Bills dropping any game in the month of October. The offense is first in dropback and rush EPA for crying out loud!

2 – Eagles (4-0) 3

The Eagles have proven that they can win in any which way in just four short weeks, and it’s infuriating.

One week Jalen Hurts lights up the second half of a game, and the next, he doesn’t complete a pass in the third and fourth quarters. And the Eagles still win comfortably. And that’s going to continue to be the case until it’s not.

Just to put things in perspective: Philadelphia has the fourth-worst yardage margin in the league, being outgained by nearly 400 yards in 2025. And they’re 4-0 anyways.

3 – Lions (3-1) 1

The Lions are probably the hottest team in the league right now in the sense that there’s no one I want to play less.

They are absolutely humming on both sides of the ball; the offense is self-explanatory, but they’re getting healthy on defense with Alim McNeil on his way back while Aidan Hutchinson continues to play out of his mind. They should wax Cincy this week before a fascinating SNF showdown in Kansas City.

4 – Rams (3-1) 3

We’re transparently seeing the high-level Rams that we were promised in the offseason.

While Matt Stafford, Puka Nacua and Davante Adams have this offense playing at a blistering level, the defense is finally starting to come into its own as the young bucks up front get after it — plus, the secondary has been a pleasant surprise.

The NFC West is pretty solid, but it’s still really hard to give the top spot to anyone but LA as long as they get MVP production out of Stafford and OPOY — if not record-setting — production out of Nacua.

5 – Packers (2-1-1) 1

So, what’s going on exactly? The defense that looked like world beaters for three weeks just turned into a bunch of traffic cones. Is that an aberration or a sign of things to come? Packer fans better hope it’s the former.

At least the offense is fine, but there are two areas that I still have concerns about: Jordan Love’s decision-making and Matt LaFleur’s playcalling. I guess they go hand-in-hand, because LaFleur is being way too conservative on first and second down. Is that to keep the training wheels on Love and stop him from doing stupid things? Maybe. If so, it’s working, but it’s also limiting this offense against defenses worth a damn.

6 – Chiefs (2-2) 5

Rumors of the demise of the Chiefs were greatly exaggerated. Turns out when a team gets their best offensive players back, they return to form. Who would’ve thunk it?

I do recognize that the Ravens defense would give up 30 to your high school’s JV team, but the performance that Kansas City put forth on offense on Sunday is the kind that can galvanize them moving forward, particularly when Rashee Rice gets back in two weeks. The run game still might be a concern, but I don’t care as long as Patrick Mahomes is back there doing that.

7 – Chargers (3-1) 5

The offensive line is not just a concern, it’s a massive one — the kind that can eventually derail this season.

We rarely see teams overcome such incompetence up front, especially when you lose each elite tackle. Joe Alt will return at some point, but while he’s out, I have serious doubts that the Chargers can keep Justin Herbert protected enough to continue the MVP trajectory that we saw in the first few weeks, nor can we continue to see the emergence of Omarion Hampton, though the defense should keep them in most games.

8 – Buccaneers (3-1) 2

Sunday’s loss to Philly pretty much reaffirmed how I feel about the Bucs: they’re a very good team who needs to get healthy and avoid the odd mistake by their QB.

I really like Baker Mayfield, as we all do, but his propensity to make mistakes in an effort to be Superman — when he really doesn’t need to be — can come back and bite like they did on that endzone interception. On the flip side, he made play after play to try and come back in that game. You gotta take the good with the bad, I suppose. A more calculated Baker and a sharper defense will go a long way.

9 – Colts (3-1) 1

Like Tampa, Sunday really strengthened how I feel about the Colts. I think this offense is legit, and I think this defense is good enough to compete with the league’s best offenses.

Hell, if Adonai Mitchell doesn’t drop the ball out of the endzone on what would’ve been one of the best plays of the season or doesn’t commit a hold on an incredible Jonathan Taylor touchdown run, the Colts would be 4-0 and maybe in the top-5.

We may all be waiting for the other shoe to drop with Daniel Jones, who did throw two picks on Sunday. But maybe it just… won’t?

10 – Seahawks (3-1) 5

An elite defense, a wildly efficient quarterback, a hyper-productive wide receiver and a consistent rushing attack makes for a real contender. That’s what we’re looking at with Seattle.

Sam Darnold has been brilliant, Jaxon Smith-Njigba is an early contender for OPOY, and like I’ve been saying, that defense is blowing me away. Thursday night’s game was only close because of the end-of-game shenanigans, and the Seahawks still pulled it out due to their elite QB-WR duo. If they can continue this form, Seattle is going to be a force in the NFC.

11 – Broncos (2-2) 1

Nice to know you guys can dispatch of Jake Browning and the Bengals. Just had to make sure.

The Broncos have been about what I’ve expected: the defense is playing well, the rushing game has been extremely consistent and Bo Nix has been… fine. Monday night was probably his best game of the season, but for some reason, I still feel like we need to see some more juice out of him. Maybe that’s asking for too much.

12 – Commanders (2-2) 2

This defense is officially a problem. That’s not something I expected to say after Week 1, but we’ve now seen three consecutive lackluster performances out of that unit, particularly on the backend.

Sunday was the first time I saw the defensive line get pushed around, but I’m hoping that doesn’t become a trend. But the secondary getting torched? That’s the new norm. Marshon Lattimore is absolute BBQ chicken, Mike Sainristil is having a dreadful season — though he had a nice interception — and the losses of guys like Will Harris are very much felt.

The good news? The best defender on the team is Jayden Daniels. And he’s coming back this week. That will help the defense tremendously. For as good as Marcus Mariota has been in relief — and he’s been outstanding — he doesn’t make the difference that No. 5 does. With Daniels back, the Commanders should be able to string together drives for longer and give their defense more rest, all while putting more points on the board.

This offense clearly isn’t the problem, and Kliff Kingsbury is really earning his money this season. Daniels being back gives them the ability to win shootouts, which Washington will apparently have to do in bunches to succeed.

13 – Jaguars (3-1) 6

Two main things: this defense is playing at an incredible level, but it’s not sustainable. That being said, it doesn’t have to be! The offense has been meticulously crafted to run the ball at will and let Trevor Lawrence do the rest without being too reckless. That’s a winning formula.

How long will it continue? Who knows. This defense has the talent to continue playing at an elite level, even if they don’t force four turnovers a game. Devin Lloyd is playing at an All-Pro caliber, and the tandem of him and Foye Oluokun is the best LB duo in football right now. If the offense keeps doing its thing, this is a clear-cut playoff contender.

14 – Ravens (1-3) 5

It’s far too early to declare that it’s over. But man, we are dangerously approaching that territory.

Defense can’t stop a scarecrow in an open field? Check. Derrick Henry is being completely ignored in the offense? Check. And now, an injury to Lamar Jackson that could sideline him for close to a month? Boy, it might get late early in Baltimore.

This was apparently never a championship team with this defense. But losing Lamar could put them even further behind the 8-ball with the Texans and Rams coming up. I don’t doubt that a late push with Jackson can get them back in the thick of things, but the Ravens have dug themselves a hole that’s going to be very, very difficult to get out of.

15 – 49ers (3-1) 2

It has been a month and I still have no clue what the 49ers are. It doesn’t matter who starts at QB, who’s on the injury list or who’s out on the field. I just don’t know.

I guess we know that Christian McCaffrey is still a beast and that Ricky Pearsall has truly emerged as a WR1. But any given week, we don’t know who’s going to line up under center or what version of this young defense we’re going to get. This team just isn’t trustworthy right now, even with a great record.

16 – Falcons (2-2) 1

It was a predictable bounce-back, but an emphatic one. Good for Michael Penix Jr. and this offense to get back on track with that performance, which was by far the best of his career thus far.

Getting lost in the equation here is the defense putting up arguably their worst game of the young season, but they were sharp on third down and tightened up when they needed to. That’s worth a lot, even if they gave up 27 points.

If Atlanta can get the best out of both sides of the ball, they’ll look much closer to the team we saw in Week 1, for example, rather than Week 3.

17 – Cardinals (2-2) 1

I would like to believe that the Cardinals we saw in the fourth quarter on Thursday night could be the Cardinals we see more consistently. But I just don’t think that’s going to happen. I’d love to be proven wrong, though!

With all the injuries in the backfield, a lot of the responsibility will be on Kyler Murray and the passing game. If Marvin Harrison Jr. can carry some positive momentum into the future, it’ll make a world of difference.

18 – Steelers (3-1) 2

Yeah, I just don’t care. The Steelers are the most nothing team in the NFL to me right now; I’m not moved by a 3-1 record when they are so damn unwatchable.

Aaron Rodgers has been… fine, I guess? The defense is playing better in the last two weeks, but that could be more due to the incompetence of the offenses they’ve faced. But, most importantly, this team is now in the driver’s seat in the AFC North, which is just gross. I don’t want to watch this team in January, but we just might have to… again.

19 – Vikings (2-2) 5

This is a good team just about everywhere but quarterback. And we’re seeing firsthand how much that can hold a team back. Missing Sam Darnold yet, are we?

Minnesota’s defense is good enough to keep them in every game, but this level of QB play is going to stunt them all year long. We’ll see if JJ McCarthy can take a leap when he returns from injury. I won’t get my hopes up on that front.

20 – Texans (1-3)

NFL teams playing the Tennessee Titans is the equivalent of when SEC teams play Chattanooga and Mercer in September before conference play. It serves as nothing more than a tune-up. Sunday’s shutout win showed me nothing I didn’t already know about the Texans: their defense is great, and their offense is not, largely due to their offensive line.

That being said, the emergence of Woody Marks is extremely promising. If they can unlock their rookie RB, it will go a very long way to take some pressure off CJ Stroud and the passing game. But, there are no promises behind that OL.

21 – Cowboys (1-2-1) 1

Dak Prescott is legitimately playing at an MVP caliber right now. I’m not convinced there’s a better QB in football at the moment, and this is probably the highest level he’s played at in at least two years, if not his entire career.

And yet, it doesn’t matter. This is a historically bad defense, particularly against the pass, and it negates any chance the Cowboys have of being a threat. And that’s honestly a damn shame.

22 – Bears (2-2) 1

Caleb Williams was not very good on Sunday, but he made some very nice plays, and those proved to be the difference in the game. Well, that and the game-winning field goal being blocked. Comme ci, comme ça.

In any case, this defense stinks. The offense is seemingly finding a groove, but it’s been against two horrendous defenses. So, I still don’t have a lot of faith in this squad moving forward. I’ll be at their first game on the other side of the bye, so I really, really hope this doesn’t come back to bite.

23 – Patriots (2-2)

Credit where credit is due: Drake Maye is playing at a very high level right now. But, the training wheels are clearly still on, and his best performances have come against some of the worst teams in the league.

Sunday Night Football in Buffalo is going to tell us all we need to know about this team. I’m actually really interested to see if they’re up to the task.

24 – Giants (1-3) 2

Jaxson Dart being inserted into the lineup brought exactly what I thought it would to the Giants: life. This team played and coached with a sense of juice that has been lacking in New York for a while. So, good for them.

Losing Malik Nabers for the season is brutal beyond description, though. I feel terrible for him. He is completely irreplaceable, and I hope he recovers swiftly. I don’t have a lot of faith in the Giants offense moving forward without him.

25 – Raiders (1-3)

Yeah, I’m ready to stick a fork in this experiment. Geno Smith is as erratic as ever, Pete Carroll has been a shell of the coach we once knew, and this defense is a joke.

Yes, they finally seem to have unlocked Ashton Jeanty despite his alleged lack of an “it-factor.” Cough, cough. But I don’t think that’s enough to save this trainwreck.

26 – Bengals (2-2) 2

Okay, this one is definitely over. Throw in the towel. Jake Browning is so far from the answer that he shouldn’t even be an option anymore. I don’t know what other choice the Bengals have, though. And that sucks.

Gotta feel bad for Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins. At least they got those contracts in.

27 – Browns (1-3)

What will handing the keys over to Dillon Gabriel do to elevate this offense? My money’s on absolutely freakin’ nothing.

28 – Dolphins (1-3) 2

Finally, a win! All it took was… Tyreek Hill suffering a gruesome leg injury that could derail his entire career. I hate it.

Maybe the Fins have found something in post-retirement Darren Waller. Who knows. De’Von Achane, Jaylen Waddle and even Malik Washington comprise a solid set of weapons, too. But I still don’t expect much out of this squad.

29 – Panthers (1-3) 1

I think we’re approaching the tail end of the Bryce Young experiment. I don’t know that it’s anyone’s fault but his own, but I don’t think that Carolina can continue to trot him out in confidence for much longer. They should be squarely in the conversation to bring in a quarterback this offseason.

30 – Jets (0-4) 1

The Jets feel simultaneously better than their winless record and deserving of it. Their offense simply has a low ceiling with Justin Fields at the helm, and the defense clearly isn’t good enough to make up for it.

I know this was never going to be a season worth a damn in New York. I just hope it’s not a complete disaster. We’ll see what this Aaron Glenn experiment spits out.

31 – Saints (0-4) 1

Full marks for competitiveness. That’s about it. That first win will come eventually, I promise!

32 – Titans (0-4) 1

I can’t say the same about you. That first win feels like it’s on Mars right now.

But hey, don’t take my word for it. Take Cam Ward’s.

Cover photo taken from Imagn Images.

1 – Bills (3-0) 1

While it doesn’t necessarily feel like one team is standing above the rest right now, it’s hard to put anyone over Buffalo. They sat here after Week 1, their offense has been fantastic, sitting first in EPA/play, , and they’re going to keep sleepwalking to victories for as long as their cupcakes remain cupcakes.

A team like the Chargers — or even the Eagles for that matter — might have a more impressive set of three wins, but I still think the Bills are the best of the bunch.

2 – Chargers (3-0) 2

To start a season 3-0 with wins against each opponent in your division is pretty impressive. The latest act being a comeback effort against a very good Broncos defense, highlighted by more heroics from your elite quarterback, is also pretty great.

If the season ended right now, I’d either give my MVP vote to Justin Herbert or Baker Mayfield. But, we’ve got 15 weeks left. Still, what No. 10 in the powder blue is doing on a weekly basis is awesome. Not to mention, their defense ranks 4th in EPA/play and hasn’t given up more than 21 points this season.

The injury to Najee Harris stings, but if they can truly unlock Omarion Hampton, this team is going to assert themselves as the frontrunner in the AFC West, if they haven’t done so already.

3 – Packers (2-1) 2

Losses happen. It’s the NFL. Anyone can beat anyone on any given Sunday.

But, you’ve heard me say it: there are good and bad ways to lose.

The Packers can hang their hats on their defense continuing to be stellar. But poor offense and special teams will drag anyone down. The run game has been so-so, the offensive line is falling apart at the seams and poorly timed turnovers and field goal operational errors puts any defense in a bind.

No one thinks that Cleveland is better than Green Bay. But I also don’t think anyone disputes that the Browns deserved to win down the stretch considering how the Packers handed them the game. It’s a slice of humble pie; perhaps it’s a needed one. But I doubt it’ll become a trend.

4 – Lions (2-1) 3

Any rumors of the Lions’ demise were greatly exaggerated. This team still has the goods.

Monday night’s victory was a patented Detroit win under Dan Campbell. They were aggressive on fourth down, but not reckless, utilizing elite playcalls and better execution to turn each of them into touchdowns. They dominated both lines of scrimmage in a breakout game for their defensive front with seven sacks while the OL paved the way for over 200 rushing yards. It was pretty damn close to perfect.

It was as impressive of a performance as any team has had this season, and I don’t have many, if any, doubts about their ability to keep it up.

5 – Eagles (3-0)

Oh look, they got away with it again.

I will begrudgingly give the Birds credit — they picked themselves off the mat and completely flipped the script on the Rams on both sides of the ball in the second half. After the worst first 30 minutes imaginable, they were damn near unstoppable down the stretch thanks to finally letting Jalen Hurts rip it to AJ Brown. It certainly helps when Emmanuel Forbes is covering him — a situation where multiple games of tape would suggest utilizing a different strategy — but alas. And blocking two field goals down the stretch can be blamed on the kicking operation, but the defensive side deserves credit as well.

I still don’t think this is the same caliber of team that we saw last year. But again, they’re going to keep winning games. That’s the sign of a good team.

6 – Buccaneers (3-0) 2

Speaking of potentially unsustainable 3-0 starts… the Bucs did it again as well! This one also featured block field goal shenanigans, but like the first two weeks, ended with Baker Mayfield putting on the cape and leading his team down for the win in the waning moments.

Considering the laundry list of injuries across the board for Tampa, I don’t know how long they can keep this up. But the fact of the matter is that Mayfield, Bucky Irving, Emeka Egbuka, Vita Vea, Antoine Winfield and others are making every single play to put them over the top in these games.

Sunday’s contest should never have ended the way it did. The Buccaneers were really in control for 58 minutes. For it to have fallen apart with them still pulling out the win speaks for itself.

7 – Rams (2-1) 1

Most brutal choke of the young NFL season? Folks are asking.

The Rams were making the Eagles look pedestrian for two quarters and change. Then they forgot how to play football. There’s so many people that I could blame, but I’m putting this one on Sean McVay. It’s not because of the failures of the kicking operation, though the line share of blame could go there. It’s because he coached scared, and that led to being outcoached by Nick Sirianni of all people.

Each time LA faced a fourth down deep in Philly territory, they opted for field goals. That’s fine and dandy until the team you’ve seemingly buried decides to pull an Undertaker. At that point, you need to assert yourselves and put the ball in the endzone, not through the uprights. I don’t care that if either of the blocked field goals went in, the Rams would have won. It’s about the process, not the results.

I’d like to think McVay would trust Matt Stafford to convert a couple of fourth-and-shorts. I don’t know why he didn’t. And it’s led to another loss against the Eagles where the Rams only have themselves to blame.

8 – Colts (3-0) 1

Sorry for doubting you again, Colts. I think I’ve learned my lesson.

This offense is nothing short of awesome and Shane Steichen is shining in the spotlight. A reliance on motion and play action has led to this being one of the best units in football, led by the resurgent Daniel Jones and Jonathan Taylor, who each have arguments for currently being the best players at their position in the league. The secondary continues to cook, though they haven’t faced the greatest slate of QBs thus far. And all of a sudden, they are the clear cut favorites in the AFC South, banking plenty of wins and separating themselves early.

Let’s put it this way: if the Colts go .500 the rest of the way, they’ll be 10-7. That’s a playoff team no matter how you slice it. And at this rate, 10 wins could be their floor.

9 – Ravens (1-2) 6

One day the Ravens will win a game of consequence. Today is not that day.

I don’t know why this team refuses to make the requisite plays to win games against true contenders. But they don’t. They do the opposite, which is pretty much nothing at all. As awesome as they can be for three quarters and change, they’re always going to find a way to blow it down the stretch. It’s mind-numbing.

Lamar Jackson is amazing. Derrick Henry needs to fix the fumbling issues. Those are the clear observations on the surface. But if you break out the magnifying glass, there’s a lot more to digest. The defense is a real issue. So is the coaching. That will hold them back in these big regular season games. And you already know it will in January, too. We’re slowly crawling towards the inevitable.

10 – Commanders (2-1) 3

Wait, that went way better than I expected. Phew!

Sunday wasn’t perfect, but considering the circumstances, it was pretty close. Marcus Mariota did what he does in a Washington uniform. Special teams was gas outside of a missed field goal (Matt Gay continues to be under surveillance, by the way). The defensive line kept on cooking against a simply overmatched Raiders OL. And our own hog mollies paved the way for an elite day on the ground. Even Luke freaking McCaffrey found the endzone!

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. We have no clarity on the Jayden Daniels injury, and now Terry McLaurin is dealing with a quad issue. Will Harris is going to miss extended time with a fractured fibula, too. But, this is still the “easy” part of the schedule. Let’s keep getting right and stacking wins.

11 – Chiefs (1-2) 1

Oh look, a win. That’s neat.

At least it was decisive. I know we all thought it’d be close, and maybe it would have been if Russell Wilson was worth a damn. But if the Chiefs can play like they did in the second half consistently while they crawl towards being full strength on offense, it inspires some confidence moving forward.

12 – Broncos (1-2) 1

You’re only as strong as your weakest link. Right now, Bo Nix is a very, very weak link.

He’s PFF’s worst-graded quarterback. He can’t hit the broad side of a barn on a deep shot. And he’s frantic in the pocket. If he was even just a smidge better, the Broncos would be 3-0. But they are not.

I love this defense. I love the offensive line. The weapons are punching above their weight. And they’re all being let down by the QB that is having the sophomore slump that no one is talking about.

13 – 49ers (3-0) 1

If the season ended today, Kyle Shanahan would win Coach of the Year.

Getting this team to 3-0 with the litany of injuries they have sustained — and continue to deal with, with Nick Bosa’s ACL tear being the latest — is extremely impressive. Mac Jones has been valiant in relief of Brock Purdy, who should return this week. And the young defense is starting to come into its own.

Also, shoutout to Ricky Pearsall. There isn’t a better breakout and a more improved player year-over-year than him right now outside of maybe Daniel Jones.

14 – Vikings (2-1) 1

Sunday’s destruction of the Bengals reinforced key points on both sides of the ball in Minnesota: Kevin O’Connell is a genius and Brian Flores is a maniac.

Carson Wentz did what he had to do in relief of JJ McCarthy because — as we’ve said time and time again — pretty much anyone can get it done in that offense. And Flores’ scheme continues to terrorize opposing quarterbacks of any and all caliber, wreaking havoc and leaving everyone in shambles. This defense is now first in EPA/play, which is heavily influenced by Sunday’s two touchdowns from Isaiah Rodgers, but they deserve it with what they’ve done to these poor QBs.

15 – Seahawks (2-1) 6

I think we should be talking more about the Seahawks. I get that beating two bad defenses in Pittsburgh and New Orleans might not get the people going, but this team has been nails on offense this season.

Sam Darnold has been one of the most efficient QBs in the league, Jaxon Smith-Njigba has been completely unguardable, Kenneth Walker is running like a man possessed and the defense is simply punching above its weight. Even with so many injuries on that side of the ball, they’re finding ways to create turnovers. And they are absolutely dominant up front. When guys like Nick Emmanwori and Devon Witherspoon come back, it could get spooky.

16 – Steelers (2-1) 6

God, this team is boring.

The Steelers are lucky to be 2-1. They had to escape the Jets in Week 1, and the Patriots practically placed Sunday’s win on a black and gold platter. This defense is not good and the offense is uninspiring. The lack of a run game puts a lot of the load on Aaron Rodgers, who hasn’t been bad by any means. But it’s not a great winning formula, and it sure as hell ain’t sustainable.

I honestly feel worse about this team through three games than I thought I would.

17 – Falcons (1-2) 7

Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

I don’t even want to talk about the Falcons. They don’t deserve it. Not after that performance after that credit I gave them. What an unmitigated disaster from Raheem Morris and Michael Penix Jr.

We’ll see if the shakeups in the coaching ranks makes any kind of impact, because right now, it’s not looking good. At all.

18 – Cardinals (2-1) 1

This is a solid team. But no one really cares, because they’re not giving us a reason to.

Kyler Murray isn’t the problem. Marvin Harrison Jr. and the rest of the WRs not being able to catch the football are. James Conner’s season-ending injury is. Untimely mistakes are.

I think the Cardinals will continue to be competitive. Losing Conner hurts bad, but the way they’re playing on defense will keep them in any and every game. Will their offense be good enough to turn that into wins? I just don’t know.

19 – Jaguars (2-1) 5

Sure, what the hell. The Jags won a game that no one wanted to win, and they did it in a fashion that’s neither convincing nor worth caring about.

I still like this offensive personnel, and for what it’s worth, their defense has been both solid and opportunistic with seven picks on the year and somehow ranking second in defensive EPA/play. But I still don’t believe in Trevor Lawrence, and I still don’t think this offense is good enough to beat teams that are competent on both sides of the ball.

20 – Texans (0-3) 2

Is it over? It very well may be.

I can’t keep defending CJ Stroud. He’s uncomfortable, but he’s also not confident and his mechanics are in the gutter. He has no faith in his OL, no faith in his weapons and quite frankly, no faith in himself. And that means this already anemic offense can’t produce anything worth a damn.

It doesn’t matter how good this defense is. The Texans have scored 38 points in 2025. The Seahawks did that in less than two quarters on Sunday. At 0-3 staring up at the 3-0 Colts, Houston will have to scrap to not have a fork stuck in them before the clocks fall back an hour.

21 – Bears (1-2) 6

You know what? Good for Caleb Williams and Ben Johnson.

Sunday’s performance looked like what everyone would have you believe every game should be under the new regime in Chicago. But, they won’t be playing a borderline-CFL defense every week. So, let’s see if this injects the Bears with life or is simply a flash in the pan.

22 – Cowboys (1-2) 6

Yeah, this team ain’t worth talking about right now. The state of their defense is Chernobyl-like, and now they’ll be without CeeDee Lamb for a month or so. It’s going to get ugly in Dallas — or, as Stephen A. Smith aptly named them, “-allas.”

23 – Patriots (1-2) 6

Why is this Mike Vrabel team so poorly coached? Is it youth and inexperience? Is it systemic? Whatever it is, it needs to change.

Drake Maye is playing well, but not well enough to cover up the vast amount of penalties and mistakes that continues to hold this team back from being productive on offense.

And don’t even get me started on their run game — or lack thereof — and refusal to get TreVeyon Henderson involved. Complete and utter nonsense.

24 – Bengals (2-1) 4

Yeah, Jake Browning ain’t it. We might’ve already known that, but Sunday confirmed it.

I don’t know that the Bengals necessarily need to bring in a veteran QB, because I think riding it out with the guy that knows the system is a better play. But I don’t think this is going to be a super successful operation with Browning back there. But, they also won’t be facing a Brian Flores defense every week. Take it with a very small grain of salt.

25 – Raiders (1-2) 2

This team is a mess on a number of fronts, but I think you have to start with the offensive line when pointing out the issues. Ashton Jeanty has negative yards before contact this season. That’s unfathomable.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like the passing game is much better. The line isn’t helping out Geno, but Geno isn’t helping out Geno either. And the downfield threats just aren’t there with Brock Bowers dealing with his injuries. The defense is clearly also an issue with the performances against the run in the first two weeks clearly being a fugazi.

It’s just not a tight operation in Vegas right now. Maybe Tom Brady can impart some wisdom next time he sits up in the booth with a headset on.

26 – Giants (0-3) 1

Thank you, Brian Daboll, for finally doing right by your players and naming Jaxson Dart the starter. Playing Russell Wilson was a complete disservice to everyone involved with the Giants, and Sunday night proved it.

Is it going to look much better with Dart? Who knows; this is a pretty brutal operation all round. But at least he provides some hope and won’t turtle the way Wilson has. I’m excited to see it play out for him.

27 – Browns (1-2) 4

What a cool win for the Browns. This defense is simply awesome with the rookies balling out and the offense is clearly lifted by the insertion of Quinshon Judkins in the lineup.

In my opinion, Myles Garrett has been the best player in football through three weeks. And the rest of the defense is good enough to keep them in literally any game this season. Cleveland will be frisker than we thought in 2025.

28 – Panthers (1-2) 1

Speaking of unexpected feel-good wins… I don’t really know how that happened, but good for Carolina. It was the most nothing 30-0 win over a divisional opponent that you could come up with, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it happened.

Is this the new expectation in Carolina? Hell no. But maybe they can parlay it into some better performances as they approach a soft portion of the schedule.

29 – Jets (0-3) 3

What do you even make of the Jets after that game? They were dreadful for about 58 minutes, which was to be expected with a backup QB in the game. Then came one of the more furious, rapid comebacks you’ll ever see. And, when it came down to it, they predictably choked it in the end.

I think my main takeaway is that New York clearly has a ton of juice and fight under Aaron Glenn. That was to be expected. But the talent just isn’t there right now. And that’s fine! The rebuild is still in its infancy. Having the right coach is step one. I think they do.

30 – Dolphins (0-3) 2

The problem in Miami is not Mike McDaniel. It’s Tua Tagovailoa. And that sucks, because the Dolphins don’t have a choice but to keep playing him.

I feel the same way about Tua as I do about Russell Wilson: it’s a disservice to the players and fans to have him play QB. But unlike the Giants, the Dolphins have no other way to go. They have to die on the Tua sword, and that’ll be this team’s undoing.

The team hasn’t given up on the coach. They are going to give up on the quarterback if they haven’t already.

31 – Titans (0-3) 3

I won’t be picking the Titans to win many, if any, games for the rest of the season. I’ve learned my lesson.

This team isn’t frisky or sneaky or anything. They just suck. And it’s not Cam Ward’s fault, but it’s the truth. The countdown to Brian Callahan’s firing is on.

32 – Saints (0-3) 2

Yeah, no.

Cover photo taken from Imagn Images.

1 – Packers (2-0) 2

This team is horrifying.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this Packers defense is the 2024 Eagles defense: rush four and get home effectively, allowing everyone else to keep their eyes on the ball because the opposing team can’t take the top off your defense. Teams have to fight for every single inch against this D, while the offense is clearly good enough to do the rest.

The addition of Micah Parsons has done exactly what we expected it to do. This team is completely galvanized by his presence, and you’d have to do a lot of convincing for me to knock them off this top spot right now.

2 – Bills (2-0) 1

Ho-hum, another easy win over a divisional opponent. The Bills defense took a huge step up against a Jets offense that went from electric to sputtering at best, and while Josh Allen didn’t light anything up, James Cook had an awesome game to prove his worth after getting that contract.

There’s really not much to say about Buffalo this week. This is how the rest of the season is going to look against their Charmin-soft schedule.

3 – Ravens (1-1) 1

Baltimore and Buffalo feel like they had identical performances after their electric showdown last week, bouncing back with massive wins over the bottom of their division.

But, unlike the Bills, the Ravens got a crazy good performance out of their star QB as Lamar Jackson tossed four touchdowns and took the NFL’s all-time lead in passer rating (not bad for a running back, eh?). What really stood out to me was how good DeAndre Hopkins and Tez Walker looked — if they can emerge as reliable targets on the outside, it’ll open things up so much for this passing game.

If you win a game by a larger margin than Derrick Henry’s rushing yardage total, you’re probably in a good spot.

4 – Chargers (2-0) 1

The Chargers feel like one of the NFL’s most balanced teams right now, doing great things on both sides of the ball. We can clearly see how good Justin Herbert is to start the season (early MVP candidate, perchance?) and their defense has been one of the best in football.

But, this running game is a major, major concern. LA is dead last in rush EPA/play through two weeks while their first-rounder Omarion Hampton has just 72 yards. It hasn’t bitten them yet because of how efficient their passing game is, but at some point, you’re going to need to tote the rock. I’ll choose to blame it on the offensive line still figuring itself out without Rashawn Slater, but I’d like to see them get it going.

5 – Eagles (2-0) 1

Meet the 2024 Chiefs’ long-lost twin. Defending champions that aren’t nearly impressive as they were in previous years that will win a number of games by the skin of their teeth for another dominant regular season on paper. We’ll see how it fares for them in January.

There’s still respect due in winning, as I’ve said previously with Kansas City. But this passing offense is absolutely stuck in neutral, Jalen Hurts still hasn’t thrown a touchdown, AJ Brown and DeVonta Smith have combined for 104 yards. 11.7% of their offensive snaps were tush pushes for crying out loud — and the sentiment around that play is finally turning into an overwhelmingly negative one, which could hopefully lead to some officiating changes this season. And I still have numerous questions about the secondary; plus, Jalen Carter looked awful in his return to play.

There’s some kinks to work out in Philadelphia, but they’re still going to keep winning. That’s just what they do.

6 – Rams (2-0) 3

This is a little higher than I want to put the Rams considering their two wins are against two winless teams, but they clearly deserve to be in the top-10. Matt Stafford has been really good through two games, Puka Nacua has been incredible, Davante Adams presence is felt in a big way and their run game has been surprisingly efficient.

The big story early on is how good this defense has been, but it appears that they haven’t played a competent offense yet. We’ll see how they fare against an Eagles unit that’s still figuring some stuff out.

7 – Lions (1-1) 3

Yeah, they’re fine. Turns out the Packers are just the ’85 Bears.

The Lions had a point to prove on Sunday. Not just after being smothered by Green Bay in Week 1 — they wanted to stick it to Ben Johnson. And boy, did they ever. And it was awesome!

Jared Goff was by far the best QB in football in Week 2, Amon-Ra St. Brown was unguardable, the offense looked like their 2024-selves and it rocked. The defense wasn’t amazing, but they don’t really need to be against a team as inept as the Bears.

They’ve got a real measuring stick game on Monday night in Baltimore. I’m fascinated to see how it plays out.

8 – Buccaneers (2-0)

The Buccaneers are 2-0, but could easily be 0-2. The difference? Baker freaking Mayfield.

The dude is just a stud. He’s a winner. Two game-winning drives in as many weeks against good defenses is remarkably impressive. It’s big time throw after big time run. It’s box office. He’s masking some real issues on that offensive line — which is continuing to take hits as more injuries rack up — and if the season ended today (thank God it doesn’t), he’d be my MVP.

The OL and secondary will be weaknesses for a while. But with Baker and the skill position players humming, they’ll still be able to win a good amount of games.

9 – Colts (2-0) 11

The story of the young 2025 NFL season? Indiana Jones.

Danny Dimes is having a Baker-esque resurgence in Indy, and it’s awesome to see. But more than that, this entire team seems to be rallying around the new life. Jonathan Taylor is running like he’s back at Wisconsin, Tyler Warren has emerged as a real impact rookie and this secondary has been lockdown. Just wait until their front seven gets healthy.

All of a sudden, the Colts are the favorites in the AFC South. What a time to be alive.

10 – Falcons (1-1) 4

It’s a new day in Atlanta: one where the Falcons actually have a defense. And it’s going to propel them this season.

The Falcons lead the league in defensive EPA/play and it’s in large part thanks to how impactful each of their rookies have been on that side of the ball. James Pearce Jr. and Jalon Walker each sacked JJ McCarthy on Sunday night while Xavier Watts and Billy Bowman both nabbed interceptions. I know it’s still early, but if I’m Terry Fontenot, I’d be posting receipts right now.

Michael Penix Jr. and the passing offense still have some figuring out to do, but Bijan Robinson is taking a massive load off his shoulders. He has probably been the best RB in the league through two weeks. And this schedule really ain’t crazy in the next few weeks. This squad could be in for a massive season if they continue on this trajectory.

11 – Broncos (1-1) 1

Though I picked the Broncos to lose on Sunday, I was impressed with them. They really only lost because of a bone-headed special teams error; despite a subpar game from their defense, Bo Nix bounced back with a fantastic performance to help restore the faith in Denver.

This team is going to be fine. They really just need consistency out of Nix and, apparently, some more level-headed coaching.

12 – Chiefs (0-2) 6

You hear that? Those are the panic alarm bells ringing.

I’ve played devil’s advocate with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs for years. I always defend them regardless of circumstance because of the precedent they’ve set. Despite the Rashee Rice suspension and Xavier Worthy injury, the leash feels shorter now. This is simply not the Chiefs team we’ve come to expect.

Travis Kelce drives me nuts. Mahomes can’t hit deep shots. The running game is awful outside of Patrick’s scrambles. The defense is fine, but not nearly elite — hell, it’s the third best in their own division, probably.

They could’ve won on Sunday. Maybe they should’ve. But they didn’t. It’s a regression to the mean. And that’s a concern.

13 – Commanders (1-1) 6

Not all losses are created equal. Thursday night was a shining example of that.

To be honest with you guys, I’ve already flushed that lifeless, listless performance out of my brain. A full weekend of football will help you do that. It’s the lasting effects of this game that have really bogged me down.

Austin Ekeler out for the season, removing a pivotal piece of this offense with no clear replacement (yes, Bill is good, but no one can do what Ekeler does). Deatrich Wise out for the season, leaving behind a massive hole in terms of size and impact off the edge after just two games in DC. Noah Brown and John Bates both dealing with groin injuries that can sideline them for a while, meaning this already stagnant offense is going to struggle even further to move the ball.

And then, the big one. After the worst game of his career, Jayden Daniels is dealing with a sprained knee that could sideline him for a game or two. I will say, that’s way better news than a place like Cincinnati is getting. But it’s still not great. I don’t blame him, I don’t blame the offensive line, I don’t even blame the institution of Thursday Night Football. It’s the nature of the sport. These things happen.

I just hope we err on the side of caution here. Despite not playing in camp or the preseason, Marcus Mariota is a great backup who’s more than capable of beating the Raiders. I know Jayden will hate to sit, but it’s Week 3. What bothers me is that this offense is going to continue to be stuck in neutral with him not practicing. The effects of Terry McLaurin’s absence in camp are clearly hindering this passing game and it drives me nuts. Things might get worse before they get better in DC.

Expectations suck, don’t they?

14 – 49ers (2-0) 5

I have no idea what to do with the 49ers right now. They’re 2-0 with two wins over teams that aren’t in my top-20, have injuries out the wazoo and haven’t looked super impressive. But, neither have many of the teams below them — even some other 2-0 squads!

So, I’m leaving them here while acknowledging that they could go in any number of directions while they get healthy. Because they’re the league’s biggest enigma right now, and I can’t be bothered to try and solve them.

15 – Vikings (1-1) 2

Can I put on my tinfoil hat for a second? Cool, thanks.

I don’t think JJ McCarthy is actually hurt. If you take out one admittedly great quarter in Week 1, he has been the worst quarterback in football. He looks lost, his processing is remarkably slow and he has little-to-no feel in the pocket. But, despite taking some big hits, he seemed like he wasn’t banged up at the end of the game — just upset about his performance.

So, where did this phantom ankle injury come from? No doubt that it could be legit, I just feel like we would’ve had some inclination of a tweak that’s going to sideline him for a month on a national broadcast. Maybe that’s just me.

In any case, it’s the Carson Wentz show in Minny for a month. That’s not very inspiring. But it’s a good opportunity for JJ to recalibrate while Carson tries to keep the ship afloat.

16 – Cowboys (1-1)

Good lord this defense is abysmal. The only team with a worse dropback EPA/play is the Dolphins. Not great company to keep.

Does it matter that the offense is humming right now? Absolutely. That’s a great sign — maybe one that we should’ve expected with Brian Schottenheimer at the helm and a healthy Dak Prescott. But, with the defense performing this poorly against anyone and everyone, I have serious doubts about how seriously we should be taking Dallas right now.

17 – Patriots (1-1) 7

The Pats are another team that I really don’t know where to place.

Was I impressed with their offense, particularly Drake Maye, on Sunday? Absolutely. But they were playing the Dolphins. So, I’m taking it with a grain of salt. I still think this secondary is Swiss cheese, though the defense has been stout against the run up front.

Consistency will be the key to success for New England. Right now, I don’t know if we’re going to see that. But, the upcoming schedule is pretty manageable, so if there was ever a time to get everything on the same page, it’s now.

18 – Texans (0-2) 3

I’m trying my best not to overreact here. The Texans could have been 2-0 at this point. But here we are, 0-2 after a heartbreaker at home on Monday night, staring up at the freaking Colts of all teams. Not great.

It’s the same issues, man. The offensive line is a joke. The running game isn’t good enough to offset the shortcomings in the passing game. CJ Stroud isn’t allowed the time to be his 2023-self, but he just doesn’t look like that version of himself in general. And while the defense is awesome, there’s not much they can do to overcome their offensive ineptitude.

This feels like last year’s Houston team all over again. But now, the division is catching up, and they’re not banking the wins early in the season like they did in 2024. And that’s going to be a problem when they’re scrapping for a playoff spot in three months.

19 – Cardinals (2-0) 2

Scraping your way to 2-0 with two close wins over the Saints and Panthers isn’t very inspiring. It’s not like the Cardinals have come out and dominated these games — I know they were in control against Carolina, but they damn near threw it away in the end, and that concerns me.

I like this team. I think they’re really talented, their defense has honestly been really good so far — not sure what that means against these opponents — and their offense is solid. I’m just not really impressed right now.

20 – Bengals (2-0) 9

It’s over.

For the third time in his six seasons as a pro, Joe Burrow’s season has ended short. I know this turf toe situation isn’t “season ending,” but you and I both know that it essentially is. If he returns by Christmas, what’s the point? Do we really think Jake Browning is going to keep this team in the playoff race?

It just drives me nuts. They don’t even try to improve the offensive line situation, and no matter how many times they try to make it work, it fails and fails and fails again. Burrow deserves better. And I don’t know if he’ll ever get it.

I’ve seen a number of Andrew Luck comparisons out there, and I’m horrified to say that they’re legit. I just hope Joe doesn’t go the Luck route. But, if he did, can you even blame him?

Oh, and they were extremely lucky to win on Sunday, anyways.

21 – Seahawks (1-1) 2

Hey, I guess the Seahawks aren’t that bad after all. Honestly, this game wasn’t very different than Week 1 for me — they still look pretty average on both sides of the ball, but their shorthanded secondary played much better against Pittsburgh, which gives me some more confidence about them.

If the strategy to win games is just to force feed Jaxon Smith-Njigba and let Kenneth Walker do the rest, it’s good enough for me.

22 – Steelers (1-1) 5

So, was the Steelers-Jets Week 1 just a total fugazi for both sides? Certainly seems like the case.

Aaron Rodgers looked like his Jets self rather than his Packers self like he did last week, the run game stunk, the defense continued to get gashed and that special teams error by Kaleb Johnson was inexcusable.

This just doesn’t feel like a very Steelers-like Steelers team. They’ve got some soul-searching to do while they try to figure out who they are.

23 – Raiders (1-1) 5

There’s the dark side of Geno Smith. I don’t know what the problem was on Monday night, but that was one of the worst games I’ve seen Geno play since his career resurgence. And I’m embarrassed as a guy who always advocates for him.

I think the bigger issue is the run game. Ashton Jeanty has been completely invisible through two games and isn’t displaying a modicum of effort in pass pro. It’s really concerning. I know this offensive line isn’t great, but he’s supposed to be that guy. And he just doesn’t look the part through two games.

I’ll shout out the run defense for being crazy good, though. The Patriots and Chargers have two of the worst run games in the league, but that’s been the Raiders’ strong suit early on. We’ll see if they can sustain it.

24 – Jaguars (1-1) 1

Should the Jaguars be 2-0 right now? Probably. Did they deserve to lose on Sunday? Honestly, yeah.

It’s not because of the decision to go for that fourth down at the end of the game. I completely agreed with that call and I don’t think Liam Coen should be catching the flak that he is right now. They should have converted that if Brian Thomas Jr. could catch. Or play football. Which he … just can’t right now.

BTJ is embarrassing himself on the field. He has a clear lack of effort with a glaring unwillingness to absorb contact or try to play receiver remotely effectively. Does he just hate Trevor Lawrence or something? It makes no sense. And if it continues, it will get ugly for him.

Oh, also, that DPI call on Travis Hunter that allowed the Bengals to continue their game-winning drive was a total joke. I feel bad for him.

25 – Giants (0-2) 5

I have no remote idea where Sunday’s offensive explosion came from, but I honestly loved it. It’s easy to root for anyone to do that against Dallas, so thanks, Giants.

Let the record show that I don’t expect this to continue at all. Russell Wilson turning the clock back for a game was cool and all, but that won’t happen against the Chiefs. Or most competent defenses.

And this defense still sucks. They are horrendous against the run and porous at best against the pass. I’m just giving them some respect for what we saw out of their offense, which will undoubtedly come crashing back down soon.

26 – Jets (0-2) 4

Ah, yes. The dreaded return to Earth. Welcome back, Jets! Hope you enjoyed the one game of false hope. I know I did.

27 – Bears (0-2) 1

Two-for-two on cathartic hate watches in 2025. I can always count on you to give me a dopamine hit, Chicago.

Caleb Williams was far from the No. 1 problem for the Bears on Sunday, but he sure as hell wasn’t good, either. The defense is getting ran through like your stomach after gas station sushi, Ben Johnson looks like he’s in way over his skis and they can’t run the ball worth a damn.

If this offense doesn’t look competent against Dallas on Sunday, we shall be declaring this season a lost cause in Chicago.

28 – Titans (0-2) 1

It seems like we’re going to see the epic highs and lows of Cam Ward every week of the season. Yes, he’s going to make plays that drop your jaw. Then he’s going to make plays that make you scream at the television the same way Will Levis did. At least that’s what I expected.

The Titans are good enough to give you a fight, but not good enough to win games right now. This is the worst offense in football with a defense that lacks any impact players, all while coaching continues to be a glaring weakness. It’s going to be a long season in Music City.

29 – Panthers (0-2) 2

I’m going to be honest with y’all. I just don’t feel like talking about this Panthers team.

This OL is embarrassing, Xavier Legette looks like a total bust and Bryce Young starts and ends games so poorly for some reason. Oh, and the defense still stinks. Yawn.

30 – Saints (0-2) 1

Impressive fight! That’s kind of what I expected. Still, it’s not enough.

But hey, Spencer Rattler isn’t that bad and Juwan Johnson is a fantasy beast. Three cheers for that!

31 – Browns (0-2) 3

Ah, there are the Browns we’re used to.

Maybe Sunday’s game was closer than the scoreboard would indicate, and they did a fantastic job of bottling up the run. But it doesn’t matter when your offense is this bad, particularly in the passing game. I do think Quinshon Judkins will give them a boost out of the backfield, but it won’t matter until one of the rookies takes over under center.

32 – Dolphins (0-2)

Yeah, that’s the last time I put my faith in this abomination of a team. Blow it up!