Cover photo taken from NFL.com.
Last Week: 11-4
Season Total: 60-32-1
Bengals 20-17 Steelers 
Thursday, 8:15 p.m. ET, Prime Video
Why not?
Short week, divisional matchup means shenanigans are inbound.
Rams 23-16 Jaguars 
Sunday, 9:30 a.m. ET, NFL Network
Oh look, we decided to send a good game overseas for once. The Brits should enjoy this one, though their “hometown” Jaguars will need to get their run game back in check to win it. And I don’t know if they can.
Even without Puka Nacua, this Rams offense will do enough, and LA’s defense will do the rest.
Bears 24-19 Saints 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
Do the Saints have what it takes to win this game? Sure. But can they put it together to do so? Seems unlikely.
Chicago isn’t playing at a super high level, but they’re playing well enough to beat bad teams. And that’ll play against New Orleans.
Browns 6-3 Dolphins 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
Heavy rain and — checks notes — 50-60 mph wind gusts? Yeah, give me the under.
You want a prediction bolder than this abysmal score? Dillon Gabriel gets benched for Shedeur Sanders, who leads the Browns to victory. Have fun watching ESPN on Monday morning, cause I won’t.
Patriots 26-13 Titans 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
Mike Vrabel probably has a few tricks up his sleeve for this well-timed revenge game. “See what happens when you let me go for no reason?”
Chiefs 28-10 Raiders 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
Next.
Vikings 19-16 Eagles 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
Ah, yes. The Carson Wentz revenge game. A few years late, guys.
The fact of the matter is that this game doesn’t come down to Wentz, even against a bad Eagles secondary. It comes down to Minnesota’s defense. Already strong, coming off a bye, playing an anemic offense with no semblance of an identity… yeah, Brian Flores is going to have a field day.
Jets 23-20 Panthers 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
They’ve gotta get one eventually, man.
The Jets bottled up the Broncos’ run game last week, so we’ll see if Rico Dowdle and Chuba Hubbard go wild on the ground. But the Panthers’ defense isn’t very good, and while New York’s offense is horrible, maybe they can do just enough to win.
Maybe.
Broncos 20-12 Giants 
Sunday, 4:05 p.m. ET, CBS
Two great defenses against two bad offenses. Who wins? The better offense? I’d say no.
Give me the better defense in Denver, particularly against a rookie quarterback who we’ve seen get flustered when things start going wrong.
Colts 27-24 Chargers 
Sunday, 4:05 p.m. ET, CBS
I’ve been torn on this one, but I’ll stick with the team that’s been far more trustworthy on both sides of the ball.
Both teams have proven that they can pull out a close one, but the Colts have at least been more consistent. This one would go a long way to improve their public perception, since I’m apparently the only person who respects them.
Cowboys 34-31 Commanders 
Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET, FOX
Sigh. I guess this is it.
Washington might be without Terry McLaurin and Deebo Samuel in this game with Noah Brown already on IR. You’re looking at a starting WR group of Luke McCaffrey, Jaylin Lane and Chris Moore for the Commanders. Jayden Daniels can make it work with anyone, especially against this Dallas defense, but come on.
The Cowboys are trending in the opposite direction on the injury front. CeeDee Lamb, Kevontae Turpin and Tyler Booker should be back in this game to boost an offense that’s already getting crazy contributions out of George Pickens and Jake Ferguson. And Dak Prescott — who is already playing at a ridiculously high level — is 11-2 against Washington in his career.
It feels like the Cowboys are catching this Commanders team at a good time. We are beat up as hell and our defense can’t stop a nosebleed. Dallas’ nonexistent defense will give up points and yards to Jayden and company — regardless of who’s out there — but I think Dak will do just a tad bit more. And I will be sent further into the abyss.
Cardinals 24-23 Packers 
Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET, FOX
Again, why not? The Cardinals have been completely stifled by last-second loss after last-second loss. Regardless of who suits up at quarterback — I lowkey think Jacoby Brissett is the better option in any case — I feel like Arizona finds a way to win this one.
The Packers just haven’t been very impressive since… I don’t know, the season opener? I keep waiting for them to be the amazing team we saw in early September, and it’s just not happening. Maybe this is where it comes back to bite.
Falcons 26-20 49ers 
Sunday, 8:20 p.m. ET, NBC
As I said earlier in the week, San Francisco’s injury situation is becoming untenable.
The loss of Fred Warner will be heavily felt against this offense, and I think we’re in for another massive Bijan Robinson game. Plus, Atlanta’s emerging defense can certainly make some plays against a shorthanded but admittedly well-coached Niners offense.
Lions 30-27 Buccaneers 
Monday, 7 p.m. ET, ESPN
First to 30 wins? Feels like the case with the state of both secondaries.
We know the Buccaneers will score because they can clearly do it with anyone playing with Baker Mayfield, especially against a beat up Lions defense. And we know Detroit can score because of their offensive firepower going up against a bad Tampa defensive backfield.
So, just give me the Lions considering they tend to not lose these home primetime games. In the regular season, at least. Though, Baker tends to cause them problems.
Seahawks 23-14 Texans 
Monday, 10 p.m. ET, ESPN
I hate this matchup for the Texans. This offensive line is going to be in for a world of pain against a Seattle front that just racked up seven sacks against Jacksonville. Asking them to keep CJ Stroud upright is like pulling teeth at this point. We can only hope for the best.
Houston’s defense will keep them around for a while, but the Seahawks offense will do their thing eventually to pull away and win this one by a decent margin.
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