Cover photo taken from NBC Chicago.
Last Week/Season Total: 9-7
Bills 27-24 Dolphins 
Thursday, 8:15 p.m. ET, Prime Video
I hate to be one to play trends, but Josh Allen has never lost on a Thursday, and he’s 11-2 in his career against the Dolphins. Not only that, but he’s put up massive numbers against Miami in the last few years.
I understand that Buffalo’s offense looks different now than it did then, but that didn’t stop Allen from being one of the most productive QBs in football last week. And I know Miami’s offense is incredible, but no team knows them better than the Bills. So, I’ll ride the trends.
Cowboys 31-17 Saints 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
Again, I don’t know what the Saints are going to look like. I take little to no stock in a blowout win over the Panthers.
But, I do know what the Cowboys are: one of the best, most well-rounded teams in the league that never loses at home. They should have this one easily.
Lions 24-20 Buccaneers 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
I’m not sure why Vegas thinks this one won’t be too close, considering the Bucs took the Lions to the brink in the playoffs last year and are coming off a very impressive offensive showing in Week 1. But, they have one thing right: the Lions win was far more impressive.
Combine that with the fact that Detroit has the better roster from top to bottom and are continuing to get better on defense, and I’ll take them to win a close, entertaining game.
Colts 23-17 Packers 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
I’m not going to pick a Malik Willis-led football team to win a game against a competent team until I see it actually happen. The Packers defense is good enough to keep them in the game at home, but I think Indianapolis has the QB advantage, and that should put them over the top.
Titans 23-20 Jets 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
The Titans didn’t give up a point on defense on the road last year, and now come home to play a Jets team that has no idea what they are offensively. Smells like an upset.
I have no faith in Will Levis, and the Titans offense isn’t very good, but this just feels like a spot where they pull out a win. Law of averages, if you will.
Either that, or I’m the Jets’ No. 1 hater. That’s also likely.
49ers 27-17 Vikings 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
The 49ers are already a much better team than the Vikings are. Then you remember that Sam Darnold was in San Francisco last year, and the Niners defense will know how to most effectively stop him, and you realize that this game really shouldn’t be close at all, no matter how intimidating Minnesota’s homefield advantage is.
Seahawks 20-17 Patriots 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
I worry about the Seahawks going all the way across the country, and I think the Patriots could ride some momentum from last week’s upset win into their home opener. But this is simply a situation where I’m picking a team that’s clearly better and hoping for the best.
Giants 23-20 Commanders 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, FOX
I’ve seen this film before. And I never like the ending.
Picking us to lose to the Giants is like taking candy from a baby. It feels wrong, but it’s just too damn easy.
For some reason, Daniel Jones always decides to play like an NFL QB for two games of the year: the two matchups against Washington. Meanwhile, we decide to play like pumpkins, even at home against a divisional opponent.
It doesn’t matter that all signs on paper point to a Washington win. New York’s front seven will find a way to make life hell for Jayden Daniels in his home debut, and Jones and the Giants offense will somehow put up massive numbers (Malik Nabers breakout game loading?) en route to a win that will make all of us scratch our heads. Again.
Chargers 20-10 Panthers 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
Do I even need to comment on the Panthers and their matchups on any given week? Not until they show me that I should. Just pick against them and move forward.
Jaguars 22-19 Browns 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
This game is going to be ugly, but I also think it’s going to be fun. Not that it’s fun watching Deshaun Watson play QB, but these are two good rosters and two well-coached football teams that should give us a good game.
That being said, I’m not going to trust the offense led by Waston to win the game. I’d much rather back Trevor Lawrence, especially at home, to get the job done.
Ravens 30-13 Raiders 
Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, CBS
Biggest blowout of Week 2 loading… next!
Rams 24-23 Cardinals 
Sunday, 4:05 p.m. ET, FOX
It’s a bit of a risk to back the Rams with all of their injury concerns, but as I said earlier, I still trust them under Sean McVay and Matt Stafford no matter what.
The Cardinals looked good last week — that is, until they didn’t — but I think I still need to see more out of their offense. I would love for this to be the game that Marvin Harrison Jr. bursts onto the scene. But more than that, their defense fell apart down the stretch, and I think Stafford, Cooper Kupp and Co. can pick them apart just enough.
Broncos 16-13 Steelers 
Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET, CBS
Week 2’s equivalent of NyQuil. I’m just picking the home team with the great homefield advantage and moving on.
Chiefs 27-19 Bengals 
Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET, CBS
The Week 2 Bengals may or may not be better than the Week 1 Bengals, but even if they are, they’re not good enough to beat the best team in the league.
Joe Burrow always plays Patrick Mahomes close, but I think the Chiefs are simply too good to lose this game at home. I hope it’s close and I hope it’s entertaining, but I just don’t think it will be.
Texans 26-20 Bears 
Sunday, 8:20 p.m. ET, NBC
This is being touted as a high-profile battle between two of the best young quarterbacks in the league. But, what it actually is is a battle between a top-five quarterback in CJ Stroud and a rookie with — until proven otherwise — more hype than substance in Caleb Williams.
The Texans are the better team from top to bottom with the better quarterback and a raucous home crowd in primetime. It’s their game to lose.
Eagles 24-17 Falcons 
Monday, 8:15 p.m. ET, ESPN
The Falcons offense is a mess. I don’t know how they’re supposed to move the ball with Kirk Cousins’ limitations coming off the Achilles injury.
I know the Eagles have question marks of their own with their defense, but at least I know what their offense is. And though Atlanta’s got a good D of their own, I don’t know if they have the offense to overcome Philly on the road.
